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lost_girl4423

Member
Jun 2, 2023
5
I am currently weighing method options ... obviously none of them being 100% ... my only 100% was taken when the police confiscated my firearm a few weeks back when for a mere moment I hesitated because I didn't want to traumatize those around me ... but I digress ...

Option 1:
Given that overdoses are the least reliable, and I also know from personal experience of multiple attempts, plus the fact that most of my pills are 10+ years expired ... but I do have a mixture of 200+ pills from Vicodin, Valium, Hydrocodone, Methadone, Hydroxizine, Baclofen, Trazodone, Tizanidine, Tramadol, T4, and Xanax. I figure if I take them all, with a few doses of Zofran to prevent vomiting, a hefty glass of bourbon, and settle down into a warm bath that I'll most surely slip down into that I'll either die from the overdose or from drowning.

Option 2:
Step off the platform in front of the express train. My need to not traumatize those around me has left the building.

Option 3:
Partial hanging. This is one that I am most iffy about. I'm terrified of not getting the location of the carotid artery right. Also, I know that body weight is all relative to the individual, but I've been slowly starving myself, and I'm down to 79lbs., and feel like I wouldn't weigh enough to cause myself to asphyxiate.

I'm not in a huge hurry at this point, but would like to ctb within the next month or so. Thoughts?
 
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solidm

Member
May 25, 2023
7
I'm in the same sort of situation with choices. I get prescribed amitriptyline and have lowered my dose I take to stock pile. I also have a ton of Ativan and like 20 oxycodone. A full liquor cabinet. But I'm scared because if it doesn't work I'll definitely be put in the hospital. There train runs through town a lot, so I could go over one night and do that. There is a busy highway too with a ton of trucks through out the night. The hanging would probably with best because I'm heavier since my military time. But I'm waiting for some family to move closer so after I go, things will be able to be taken care of without me.
 
Beautiful_Oblivion

Beautiful_Oblivion

New Member
Jun 3, 2023
1
I am currently weighing method options ... obviously none of them being 100% ... my only 100% was taken when the police confiscated my firearm a few weeks back when for a mere moment I hesitated because I didn't want to traumatize those around me ... but I digress ...

Option 1:
Given that overdoses are the least reliable, and I also know from personal experience of multiple attempts, plus the fact that most of my pills are 10+ years expired ... but I do have a mixture of 200+ pills from Vicodin, Valium, Hydrocodone, Methadone, Hydroxizine, Baclofen, Trazodone, Tizanidine, Tramadol, T4, and Xanax. I figure if I take them all, with a few doses of Zofran to prevent vomiting, a hefty glass of bourbon, and settle down into a warm bath that I'll most surely slip down into that I'll either die from the overdose or from drowning.

Option 2:
Step off the platform in front of the express train. My need to not traumatize those around me has left the building.

Option 3:
Partial hanging. This is one that I am most iffy about. I'm terrified of not getting the location of the carotid artery right. Also, I know that body weight is all relative to the individual, but I've been slowly starving myself, and I'm down to 79lbs., and feel like I wouldn't weigh enough to cause myself to asphyxiate.

I'm not in a huge hurry at this point, but would like to ctb within the next month or so. Thoughts
Well the a firearm is only 100% to kill you if you hit the right spot but since it got taken away I guess that doesn't matter, If you overdose and survive you would be very sick and would want to die more then you already do, If you walk in front of a train you could die or go in a coma or become crippled, If you hang yourself you could have a stroke brain damage or spine damage or it could damage your voice box you need to consider all of the things you would be left with if you survive the suicide attempt. I wish you luck in life.
 
AshClouds

AshClouds

In time I started growing inward.
Apr 10, 2023
297
option 1 unreliable, option 2 traumatizing for witnesses, option 3 works if done right
 
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lost_girl4423

Member
Jun 2, 2023
5
option 1 unreliable, option 2 traumatizing for witnesses, option 3 works if done right
Option 1 is too unreliable. So 2 and 3 are the only viable options at this time. So to reduce possible witness trauma it would mean doing it during the day when there are less people. And for option 3, it would mean taking the time to plan all the details to make sure I get it right, which is what I'm most nervous about. Screwing up a detail that would leave me a vegetable or, waking up disappointed. Still, purchased some nice Shibari rope just in case.
 
AshClouds

AshClouds

In time I started growing inward.
Apr 10, 2023
297
option 2 doesn't matter about the time of day. I didn't witness anybody getting hit by a train, but I did see the aftermath, and it wasn't pretty. That image has been burned into my mind and sometimes I get sick picturing it.