Help Ways to end it FAST in case of emergency?

[silverdancer]

A bit of context: I made a horrible mistake back in January (sending very intimate pics and videos to a stranger I thought was a friend), I regret it extremely but I was at my lowest point in life and never had a "relationship" before, I clung on to him like a moth to a lamp. We haven't talked to each other since like April. However, the thought that he might leak the content to my close friends and family haunts me every single day (we also have common friends). I do believe he would never do it and it's been months since we've talked, but I still can't brush off the possibility that it might happen. If he does decide to leak them someday, I need an extremely fast and effective method for ending my life as soon as I realize he did it. I do not want to see my parents' reactions and do not want to see all the panic with my friends. I do not want to live with the consequences. I would rather die. So please, tell me how I can do it fast, even if it's painful. There are no tall bridges nearby, so I cannot do that, and I don't live in an apartment. I cannot jump anywhere. It needs to be at home, because I do not want to risk killing someone else on a road. A method so fast, before I get to see the damage of my stupidity.

 

[TBONTB]

Site rules keep people from providing advice on methods...even if I had any.

I actually want to comment on the other aspect of your post. I'm sure the photos/videos are extremely embarrassing so I'm sorry you have that hanging over you. But what I was wondering was whether you could just get used to the idea that maybe someone sees them, you are mortified, and it's not life threatening. It's happened to people before, and they go on. Just a thought

 

[flip_bug]

You haven't spoken since April. It is very unlikely he plans to extort you. It is easy to catrastrophize in these situations, but if he wanted to, I am sure he would have already done it.

 

[LastNite]

Thats revenge porn if it happens you can hold him accountable in a court of law. It can land him a hefty sentence. Dont overthink it much. I dont think he's that stupid to do it. Even if he did it's not something you should end your life over. It's just images not the end of the world. If someone fails to get that through their head then it's not even worth calling them a friend or a parent.

 

[rs929]

I think if he releases the content it's really not something worth killing yourself for. I am pro choice and I do understand if would hurt you and you'd feel embarassed, but everyone would forget about it eventually. You'd get over it, I'm sure.

 

[silverdancer]

Thats revenge porn if it happens you can hold him accountable in a court of law. It can land him a hefty sentence. Dont overthink it much. I dont think he's that stupid to do it. Even if he did it's not something you should end your life over. It's just images not the end of the world. If someone fails to get that through their head then it's not even worth calling them a friend or a parent.

I've been depressed for 8 years straight and in my opinion if it does happen it would make the mental 100x times worse, it would be almost impossible to ask me to stay alive.

Site rules keep people from providing advice on methods...even if I had any.

I actually want to comment on the other aspect of your post. I'm sure the photos/videos are extremely embarrassing so I'm sorry you have that hanging over you. But what I was wondering was whether you could just get used to the idea that maybe someone sees them, you are mortified, and it's not life threatening. It's happened to people before, and they go on. Just a thought

People go on, but maybe they weren't already as fucked in their minds as I am. I have attempted for all kinds of stupid reasons, this would be the literal last straw. Everyone around me sees me as the innocent perfect student, my life would never be the same if my family and friends see the content. If I already despise my life, nothing will convince me to stay anymore. But I do pretty much believe he would never do that, but it's still a possibility yk