Watching as sadness and terror at ctb becomes numbness

[offbalance]

Peaceful but still kind of scary at the same time… it gets easier each day though.

 

[Depressed Cat]

Yes, CTB is not easy at all. SI is very strong indeed. SI can induce thoughts of inner fear & terror about CTB. SI can also kick in when attempting CTB and cause the method to fail. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best.

 

[FuneralCry]

I would much rather feel nothing than to feel such dreadful emotions like terror. I would only ever be able to feel calm about ctb if I had a peaceful and reliable way to exit, the fear of failure also scares me. More than anything I wish it was easier to leave. I wish you the best, whatever happens.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Hmmm I used to be scared of ctb, mainly about what happens after death and death itself, but as time went by and shit happened and got accumulated I no longer fear these. Whatever happens, happens. We all die at one point. Death can't be any worse than what it is now.

 

[TooConscious]

It really is a cruel gig we are forced to feel such way.
It sickens me the people who spew philosophies like "you asked to come here as a higher self spiritual being in order to grow!"

Well if that's the case what a fucking stupid bastard my higher self must be an idiot "I know let's go to planet rape and ravage a everything to learn, yay! "

 

[keithknife]

ctb?

 

[Depressed Cat]

ctb?

CTB or "catch the bus" (including catching & caught) is a euphemism for committing suicide.

SI is survival instinct.

 

[Sides]

Hmmm I used to be scared of ctb, mainly about what happens after death and death itself, but as time went by and shit happened and got accumulated I no longer fear these. Whatever happens, happens. We all die at one point. Death can't be any worse than what it is now.

We all die. The outcome has never been in question, it is only a question of method and timing.

What scares me most is to live the next 20 years in agonizing pain, unable to move, or to lose the physical ability to carry out plans of suicide and be stuck as a vegetable, or in a wheelchair forever, without the power to end it all. My mother died a slow agonizing death from ALS, and something like that is what I most fear.

Death itself, no fear at all. Pain and suffering, lots of dread and fear.

I need a nice quiet peaceful way to slip away as painlessly as possible, given my current circumstances of constant pain.

 

[Teardrop2021]

We all die. The outcome has never been in question, it is only a question of method and timing.

What scares me most is to live the next 20 years in agonizing pain, unable to move, or to lose the physical ability to carry out plans of suicide and be stuck as a vegetable, or in a wheelchair forever, without the power to end it all. My mother died a slow agonizing death from ALS, and something like that is what I most fear.

Death itself, no fear at all. Pain and suffering, lots of dread and fear.

I need a nice quiet peaceful way to slip away as painlessly as possible, given my current circumstances of constant pain.

That's my worst fear as well. The only thing that comforts me is that eventually we will all die and it will end.

 

[Sides]

That's my worst fear as well. The only thing that comforts me is that eventually we will all die and it will end.

Yes, but I have seen horrible agony in deaths that were prolonged for months and years. Having seen it up close and personal in people who I loved, I know I do not wish to experience such a death for myself.

So I bought SN tonight to expedite the process, and will be ready to embark on the final journey home soon.

Blessings, comfort, and love to you,

Sides

 

[needed_]

i also find comfort in the thought that we do die anyway so the question is not whether death is too frightening because that's gonna happen anyway, the question is how I can do it so that I suffer the least. my method is SN.

 

[Crazy4u]

it is not supposed to be scary. Yes, SI is real but I don't think it is the main reason we feel scared. We feel scared because we are fed incorrect misconceptions about ctb. ctb is not wrong and shouldn't feel this way

ctb becomes easier because it is the final destination. There is no way out. There is no hope. Life keeps getting worse until we can't take it any more

 

[WhiteRabbit]

It's still scary for me. It's difficult to overcome something you're wired to fear.

 

[FogFilledLife]

Peaceful but still kind of scary at the same time… it gets easier each day though.

I feel neither fear nor desire at this point. I can hold a knife to my throat and even hit myself with it and other things no problem, but I can't muster the energy to do anything with it.

If I had a gun I'd shoot myself and fall off a bridge, everything else seems too risky.

 

[Zzzzz]

It really is a cruel gig we are forced to feel such way.
It sickens me the people who spew philosophies like "you asked to come here as a higher self spiritual being in order to grow!"

Well if that's the case what a fucking stupid bastard my higher self must be an idiot "I know let's go to planet rape and ravage a everything to learn, yay! "

If such a thing is real , then everyone's so-called higher self is a pervert and a sadist or masochist for choosing the cesspool called Earth to incarnate into.