Watching a nestling die at 4am (trigger warnings and all that shit. Better do not read this, I guess)

[Lyn]

I found him at 9:30pm. It's a newborn nestling, maybe pigeon, I don't know. A really small one. No feathers, eyes sealed with some kind of membrane or something.
Lying on concrete, crawling, while ants were eating him alive...

I don't even know how long he had been there.
I removed the ants and put him in a container, with some cloths. Googled everything I could. I've put warm water under the box, tried giving a tiny bit of water on his beak. He seemed to absorb it. Or it was just a reflex... I really just don't know.
That's all I could do. Fuck, that was the ceiling of my power.
It's 4am now. He's on his back most of the time. He can't really hold a position. With every breath he moves his beak in small, fast, rhythmic movements. And the breathing is slow and... spasmodic probably.
I guess it's not a good sign. Saying it like there were any good ones...

Helplessness. Helplessness in being thrown in this shitty world and being sent to suffer and get eaten by ants since the first moments.
Helplessness in watching something fight maybe without even realising how it's fighting. And not being able to do anything meaningful.

He just still breathes. Moves his beak. Keeps existing somehow.
I can't fix the breathing. Can't feed him because he'd choke and because I don't have anything I could give to someone like him right now. Can't keep the water warm all night, although will try to make "his place" at least somewhat warmer for him. Can't call anyone at night (I tried...), nobody cares about a pigeon.

I can just watch and wait. And write about watching...
I don't know what this is about. The pigeon specifically or the fact that sometimes life just throws someone out of the nest and there's no one there and the ants come and you lie on your back and you move your beak and that's all you can do.
He'll probably be dead by morning.
And I'll have just been here. Watching. Not being able to save him. Not being able to stop the suffering. I just lessened it, may be. Or prolonged it...
I don't know.
And I don't know why I am even typing this. I'm just tired.
Oh god, how I want all this nature, life, all this world to just fucking come crashing down and never exist...

 

[Aknu132]

Knowing that all the pain life causes will only end in a billion years is sad, but at least it will end. When the sun grows bigger, all possibility of life will end.

 

[Reeincarnation]

You can feed a baby pidgeon grains, baby food, powdered milk mixed with water.

You need to keep the nestling warm or it won't be able to eat. If you are able to get a hold of a syringe you can use that to feed it (obviously without the needle).

Birds reject weak offspring, that is likely what happened or it fell off its nest, which I doubt.

Regarding your analogy, maybe you can find some peace in knowing you at least try instead of watch and do nothing about it, I hope it gets better for you

 

[peacebenow]

This is an incredibly moving and beautiful piece of writing.