Wasted my 20s

[FireFox]

I am 23 and every day i feel like i have wasted my 20s.
People spend their 20s having relationships, travelling and doing big things.
I have wasted my life and can't ever see it changing
- i have never had a job it is so humiliating. I feel like i am only 23 year old who has never worked. I apply for minimum wage jobs and get rejected. I feel like have let my family down by failing to get a job

- never had a boyfriend and still a virgin
- I am still living at home and it depresses me soo much.
Being in lockdown has shown me my life is nothing but a failure.

 

[WornOutLife]

If I were a prolifer I'll tell you something like:
"Don't worry! You have a lot ahead! Your 30s will be awesome and you can do all that stuff you didn't do before."

However, the truth is 30s suck! You only get a big belly, grey hair, small or maybe big health problems, etc.

Still, you're really young and still have a chance to get those things you mentioned. They are not impossible.

Wish you the best and hope your dreams come true.

Hugs

 

[_Kaira_]

I'm 23 and never worked either. A feeling that makes me feel so much worse, yet I can hardly seem to do anything about it. I've been rejected from a certain popular fast food chain 4+ times. EXTREMELY pathetic. Not the only place either. Filled out roughly 25 applications last month, which is a HUGE achievement for me, most rejected me for an interview or didn't even bother to reply.

I've been in relationships, but none of them particularly lasting or 'happy'.. hurts even worse that I always destroy these things one way or another.
Now I'm caught between the stress if I don't have a job soon, I'm going to be homeless, or be forced to go back to my abusive family.

 

[HenryHobkins]

I am 23 and every day i feel like i have wasted my 20s.
People spend their 20s having relationships, travelling and doing big things.
I have wasted my life and can't ever see it changing
- i have never had a job it is so humiliating. I feel like i am only 23 year old who has never worked. I apply for minimum wage jobs and get rejected. I feel like have let my family down by failing to get a job

- never had a boyfriend and still a virgin
- I am still living at home and it depresses me soo much.
Being in lockdown has shown me my life is nothing but a failure.

Alot of people are struggling to find work right now, and ALOT of people your age and way past are living with family due to the pandemic. When it comes to doing something big with your life, having relationships and traveling like you say, you can do enough of that way past your 20's. Some people have peak enjoyment with their lives at different times. In no way have you wasted your life at 23, maybe your adolescence is behind you, but not your youth.

 

[PapaSuicide]

At 23 I left my parents' house and went to live with my girlfriend, got married and bought a house. I am bipolar, I was betrayed and I went into a deep depression, at 32 she left me, we sold the house she kept almost all the money. Today, at 34, I am living with my parents and earning little. I wasted my 20s, you have 23 years and seven years to enjoy. Life doesn't end at 29 either!

 

[Sherri]

You still have 23, you can still achieve so much, don't be so hard on yourself, I'm 25 and also felt like lost my 5 years back when my depression and personal issues came alone. Sending you a hug full of strength hun,

 

[sadworld]

I'm still doing the sub 20 life speedrun

 

[Ae54rge]

I'm 29 and spent the last 2-3 years in complete isolation. The previous year was touch and go, before that it was work 24-7.

I last remember myself as a young man, late teens, I vaguely remember my early twenties. It then becomes a painful blur of work and drugs and false happiness and fake smiles.

I'm hoping now I'm 30 thankfully with most people now doing things later in life, I might still have a chance.

Don't give up yet OP, there's so much hope yet, your much younger then I and by being here your get more help to get through it ❤

 

[Moon Flower]

If it makes you feel any better I'm 30 and have still never had a job. Some people don't find their purpose until even as late as their 40's. It feels like there's no time, but there's time if you want there to be. <3
Also capitalism conditions us to feel like we're only valuable if we're "useful", but there's much more to it than that. As long as you're doing your best to be a good person that's what matters

 

[woknows]

I am 23
and every day i feel like i have wasted my 20s.

People spend their 20s having relationships, travelling and doing big things.

I have wasted my life and can't ever see it changing

- i have never had a job it is so humiliating. I feel like i am only 23 year old who has never worked. I apply for minimum wage jobs and get rejected. I feel like have let my family down by failing to get a job

- never had a boyfriend and still a virgin
- I am still living at home and it depresses me soo much.
Being in lockdown has shown me my life is nothing but a failure.

You are young. When you are 33, come and complain about how you had wasted your 20s. Instead, go out and seize the opportunities that come along and get a boyfriend if you miss having one.

I know how it feels. Trust me. Things will get better.

 

[stygal]

I feel you, OP.
I worried a lot about accomplishing stuff too at your age.
When I was 23 I had no idea what profession I wanted to have and got a burn-out from trying to work at a hospital.
I also still lived with my parents, made some bad life choices because I wanted to connect with people so much and was left traumatized. All in all I got used/hurt plenty of times during my 20s and only figured that out in maybe the last 1-2 years. So it's not necessarily better to be in a relationship or to interact with a lot of people...you just need to find the right and caring kind.
My job situation turned around eventually (mid twenties) before that I wasn't able to hold down anything for longer than a few months.
There's still time...it definitely won't get any easier but if you try and try again (lots of applications and reaching out to people) eventually you can find something or someone that won't make you feel like a failure.

 

[Jumper Geo]

You still have time your still in your 20's and don't take it to heart if you don't get a reply, I have a ton of qualifications and experience and I applied to lots of employment agencies for excellent pay and perks jobs and they don't exist just to get you on their books and then later if a suitable job comes up contact you but not always sometime nothing.

Contact the benefits office and ask for any free courses online or classroom-based start at the beginning make sure you can use Microsoft office, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, etc or even a first aid cert, employment will be difficult for a few years but I think the temp job market will recover faster.

Good luck

Cheers

Geo

 

[Sherri]

I'm still doing the sub 20 life speedrun

You are living the easiest days in your life. It starts to get hard when you turn 20 my angel.

 

[stygal]

You are living the easiest days in your life. It starts to get hard when you turn 20 my angel.

Nope, 25...when the state stops paying you child support and insurance gets more expensive (where we live).

 

[Sherri]

Nope, 25...when the state stops paying you child support (where we live).

In my county the state stops paying at 18. Lol

 

[stygal]

In my county the state stops paying at 18. Lol

Okay That sucks...a lot.

 

[sadworld]

You are living the easiest days in your life. It starts to get hard when you turn 20 my angel.

Nope, 25...when the state stops paying you child support and insurance gets more expensive (where we live).

I don't really think age matters to be honest, it can always be hard

 

[Sherri]

Okay That sucks...a lot.

Yup. You're lucky lolol

I don't really think age matters to be honest, it can always be hard

Well, when I was 18 or something close. Those were the best years of my life. We had no amazing tablets, or fancy iPhones. But I was very happy and carefree at that age. When you go to university that's when the fun is over. I know you depressed, but try and enjoy your 17s18s19s. Because they will never come back.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

When I was 23, I was a divorced single mom, with no job, no education, no real future


You're time will come. Don't want to much to soon. Seriously.

 

[FireFox]

At 23 I left my parents' house and went to live with my girlfriend, got married and bought a house. I am bipolar, I was betrayed and I went into a deep depression, at 32 she left me, we sold the house she kept almost all the money. Today, at 34, I am living with my parents and earning little. I wasted my 20s, you have 23 years and seven years to enjoy. Life doesn't end at 29 either!

Papasuicide sorry to hear that. I hope you find love again
Everyone deserves happiness

 

[Donk]

I'm 42 so nope...being 23 is not too late. I wish I can go back to my 20s again when I wasn't too mentally ill to function.

Life is a grind. Keep going until you can't. You'll find the right girl eventually just don't dwell on it. Time goes by faster and faster as you get older. Appreciate what you have to the fullest.

I wish I did more when I was younger and now I'm too depress to enjoy life and live with many regrets. All the best my friend

 

[FireFox]

When I was 23, I was a divorced single mom, with no job, no education, no real future


You're time will come. Don't want to much to soon. Seriously.

Myforevercharile

My mum was a single mum when i was born and most of my childhood. My mum is in an relationship now with a nice man. He has been more of a father too me than my real dad ever was. He is coming to spend time with us this Christmas.

I appreciate all my mum has done for me and still do.
Your children when they grow up they will appreciate everything you did for them even though if they dont always show it.

I feel like i have let my family down i should be working and living on my own. It is so embarrassing when people ask me what i have been doing?

At first i told people i was looking for work as the months go by it does get embarrassing when you say you are still looking for a job.
I started avoiding people.

I am on benefits ( welfare as it called in USA). Being on benefits i feel like a failure. Growing up the only people i knew on benefits where teen mums or people who dropped out of school. When i said this people on reddit accused me of looking down my nose on other people.
I never look my nose down on people
In the UK being on benefits has not got a good reputation.

I lie to people that I work if i asked. Generally i avoid people i know in public because i am ashamed of my life.

I hope things work out for you and you hope find love again.

 

[sugar]

I don't want to sound like those toxic positivity people. But you are still in your early 20s and you have enough time to turn things around if you want to. Don't give up just yet. Life will knock you down over and over again but you have to keep getting up until you no longer can.

I think you need some guidance to help you navigate this complex world.

 

[FireFox]

I'm 23 and never worked either. A feeling that makes me feel so much worse, yet I can hardly seem to do anything about it. I've been rejected from a certain popular fast food chain 4+ times. EXTREMELY pathetic. Not the only place either. Filled out roughly 25 applications last month, which is a HUGE achievement for me, most rejected me for an interview or didn't even bother to reply.

I've been in relationships, but none of them particularly lasting or 'happy'.. hurts even worse that I always destroy these things one way or another.
Now I'm caught between the stress if I don't have a job soon, I'm going to be homeless, or be forced to go back to my abusive family.

_kaira_ Good luck with the job hunt and hope things work out.
Sorry to hear about you having an abusive family. I feel so bad for people living in abusive homes during the pandemic.

 

[omoidarui]

- never had a boyfriend and still a virgin

isn't a bad thing and i don't even think society thinks so when it's women or gay guys? it's only when straight men still have their virginity that they are shunned

 

[FireFox]

isn't a bad thing and i don't even think society thinks so when it's women or gay guys? it's only when straight men still have their virginity that they are shunned

omoidarui i just worry the older i get the less men will find me attractive and i worry everyone will be taken.

 

[LastWhisper]

Feel the same, I'm 23, never worked (and honestly never wanted to), never had relationships (never much carried about that), living alone, the only friends I have are my laptop and aspirine tabs (lol). It sucks, youth is completely wasted.

Hope things will get better for you, there is still some time for it.

 

[FireFox]

Feel the same, I'm 23, never worked (and honestly never wanted to), never had relationships (never much carried about that), living alone, the only friends I have are my laptop and aspirine tabs (lol). It sucks, youth is completely wasted.

Hope things will get better for you, there is still some time for it.

Lastwhisper
I hope things work at for you too as well :)

Everyone deserves happiness

 

[ZardozOmega]

I'm 24 and in a similar situation. Never had a job, never had sex, wasted my teenage years and my early twenties. Time I'll never get back.

 

[Justcheckingout]

If you guys wasted your 20s I did as well lol I'm 31 and socially I've never done anything. Never been to a party never even been kissed. I guess in a way it doesn't bother me very much because I'm an introvert and asexual so I never much minded it. I do wish Id worn cooler clothes when I was young enough to pull them off though.