Discussion Was our own life meant to be ours?

[K14~♡]

Just some 12 am thoughts. Idk how to word my explanation for this tbh TvT

I was thinking that, since parents are responsible for their children's lives, does that make it theirs?

Like how you buy an item, and now that item is yours and you have control on its usage. Though yea it's weird to compare a transaction to a life, but I'm just fixating on the payment aspect of a parent's responsibilities in this. Like how they pay for their kid's education, so they deserve to know the kid's academic performance. Most would also want to receive satisfying results. So like, since they paid for it, they have some control over it, and since they paid for it, they would wanna get their money's worth. Does my thought process makes sense...? ToT

There's also the fact that we can't think for ourselves as babies and toddlers. So as children, our lives are up for our family to handle. Does this mean, that at the beginning one's life, their life is not theirs? Though even when we're finally able to completely think for ourselves, they still exercise control over us...I guess this correlates with freedom. But yea what I'm wondering about is, are our own lives meant to be ours?

 

[Redacted24]

Hi, it's a great question I think.

I think of it more as a slow transfer of responsibility rather than ownership.

An individual's life is always theirs. Always. Even as a newborn.

The adults in their life (parents, guardians, whoever) have responsibility for taking care and helping the person grow and be successful on their own.

They (should) slowly transfer full responsibility to the individual. And that starts with small things like being outside alone, to learning how to drive a car, to making budgets and meals....

And as part of that there is some element of the individual taking responsibility as they are able.

Of course it doesn't always work that way
But that's my opinion how it should be.

 

[houseofleaves]

since parents are responsible for their children's lives, does that make it theirs?

Ethically - no. But if we look at the real world, then yes. I hate it so much tbh. Being a child is the worst situation to be in, regardless of country, economy, etc.

 

[K14~♡]

I think of it more as a slow transfer of responsibility rather than ownership.

They (should) slowly transfer full responsibility to the individual. And that starts with small things like being outside alone, to learning how to drive a car, to making budgets and meals....

That actually makes more sense, is a better perspective I think!

Ethically - no. But if we look at the real world, then yes. I hate it so much tbh. Being a child is the worst situation to be in, regardless of country, economy, etc.

But sadly true though yea

 

[Forever Sleep]

Up until the age of 18, it's also seemingly agreed that we don't necessarily have the mental capacity to make life changing decisions for ourselves. I suppose that's why a parent's guardianship is often in place till then. In the hopes at least- that they have our best interests at heart.

I think we ought to be our own people but, I don't think it necessarily works like that- on a practical or emotional level. Many of us are simply expected to comply- once we are born here.

There are varying pressures to succeed in our education and career. To follow certain beliefs and customs. Otherwise- we pay the price of being told our families are disappointed in us.

Practically speaking- there may be the expectation to pay back too. That we are expected to care for our parents as they age- because they cared for us as children. Whether that be financially, practically or emorionally. Regardless of what they say about not wanting to become a burden- I think many parents take a very dim view of being abandoned.

I think the other issue is- we maybe come from a long line of generations who did simply comply. They simply accepted it that they had to succeed and become independent at a certain age. That they would respect and take care of their elders- for as long as they lived. I think many parents expect their children to comply- because they did.

I suppose that's what irritates me though. That would- be parents do seem to create children here- almost with the same appeal of having a pet. But then, experiencing this life as a human, having to try and survive here- can be such a difficult challenge for some of us. I don't think it's particularly fair to burden a being with something so high risk.

Plus, we're only pet- like for the first one or two decades. After that- it's expected that we then start to care for ourselves and effectively- now pay ourselves for their decision to bring us here. Whether we want to be here or not.

I think the situation is made worse by the fact that we also are trapped here- once we are born. Because of that strong emotional bond/ need from the parent- we're simply not allowed (or at least- they aim to prevent us) to make the choice to leave. (Suicide.)

Stripped down to the fundamentals- how can our lives truly belong to us if we aren't actually free to leave them? If that isn't a choice that is openly respected (once established to be by someone of sound or rationalised mind/ thinking,) then- how can we say we are masters of our fate?

I think there's this idea that we are strong minded individuals. Free to pursue our own destiny and needs. In reality though, it's more like we are caught in a web- with strands that lead to multiple other people. We effectively become responsible for them- just as much as they are resposible for us. Except- they had a choice in it.

We are also- obviously, highly limited in our choices in life. Our finances, location, genes, gender, race, health, upbringing all make an impact on how we will live/ succeed in life. While we can make choices, we are limited in so many ways. Pigs can't choose to fly.

Maybe we can break free- if things are really that bad. But then- we'll likely know we've hurt a bunch of people doing that.

The way I see it is- theoretically, our lives do belong to us. Just in the way that theoretically- we are free to undertake many actions that occur to us. Even illegal ones. But- those actions can have huge repurcussions so- practically speaking, we aren't so free at all. We are- in fact- often tightly hemmed in by the environment we are born into. From day one, there are expectations placed on us to comply with making life easier for others- effectively. It is effectively being born into slavery of varying degrees.