Was/is anyone here bullied for their looks?

[thetwilightzone]

I think being someone who was non-European living in a relatively homogeneous white country, bullying shouldn't have been surprising but honestly I feel bad because I feel it's more covert and I would rather someone tell me to my face (overtly) than what they did.

Along with that, I had very buck teeth that people made fun of. I got along with kids in school but whenever they got annoyed with me, they'd resort to calling me ugly and even drawing pictures on the board and saying that those images were better looking than me. This was in primary school (5th grade - 6th grade equivalent). When I went to secondary school, it became more covert as well as overt. This time it was racial bullying. There was this alpha guy who bullied me and all the hot girls used to laugh with him. They never bullied me verbally or physically but always sided with him. It got so bad that I had to move schools. #

The 'funny' thing is that is that the bullying came from almost everyone. It wasn't just the 'losers jocks' that bullied me but even so called people who were my friends. They were okay but when they got mad, they would bully me for my buck teeth.

I hate when people say things like "looks don't matter to people, it's what's on the inside that counts". As much as I'd like that to be true, how your are treated because of your looks can influence your inside. I never saw anyone get bullied like I did (with the exception of one other guy).

It probably explains why I don't have any friends.

 

[Fylobatica]

I naturally look like I'm of the opposite gender, and for a woman isn't much of an help in many social situations.

Androgyny looks cool on many other people, but unfortunately not on me-- I happen to have asymmetrical facial traits and I look like a little construction worker, so I'd say that I've never had a chance to be positively compared to other women. We're from different worlds.

However, it's not that troublesome anymore and I've just accepted it, since with each year passing I really care less about a lot of things.

 

[Smilla]

It's very sad to me when I hear stories like this, and is one of the main reasons why I never had a child.

My peers made fun of me but the worst was from my family to whom appearances were everything.

When I last visited my Mother who has early onset dementia and barely recognizes me, she oddly called me beautiful but when she was well she pointed out every flaw. She then said to me "maybe I could have done more"?

I thought? Yeah you could have not made me feel ugly for most of my childhood.

Hugs to all.

 

[Tiburcio]

To be honest, I don't even know. Maybe somebody said something pretending to be hurtful but as I said in several times, I don't give a fuck about my physical appereance since a very long time. Some people tried to hurt me and I didn't noticed it.

 

[millefeui]

Yes, but nothing too significant. My somewhat distant Asian blood used to bother people a lot, they would call me stuff like Jap, no eyes (because having tiny eyes equals no eyes, of course).

 

[Nauseated]

It's very sad to me when I hear stories like this, and is one of the main reasons why I never had a child.

My peers made fun of me but the worst was from my family to whom appearances were everything.

When I last visited my Mother who has early onset dementia and barely recognizes me, she oddly called me beautiful but when she was well she pointed out every flaw. She then said to me "maybe I could have done more"?

I thought? Yeah you could have not made me feel ugly for most of my childhood.

Hugs to all.

Maybe your mother use to just project all her insecurities out on you?

 

[Smilla]

Maybe your mother use to just project all her insecurities out on you?

Good point, Freud ;).

I've had so much analysis over this issue my head spins around whenever I think of her and her BS.

 

[Nauseated]

Good point, Freud ;).

I've had so much analysis over this issue my head spins around whenever I think of her and her BS.

 

[skyofAuroras]

I was always made fun of for my appearance no matter how I looked. When I was little I was teased for being a little chubby. Most of the teasing was from parents. There would also be kids at school who made fun of me for the clothes I wore, just because my family couldn't afford anything better.

In high school, I was made fun of because I was super skinny. Guys would make fun of me for having long hair and "looking like a faggit." My parents of course also made fun of me and constantly told me to cut my hair.

Even now I get shit shit for my appearance. My parents can't go a fucking day without pointing out how much weight I've gained. Even though, this is the first time in years I haven't been underweight! And I'm still really thin so what the fuck.

 

[typx]

I feel like other guys of a rougher upbringing have always zeroed in on me. I'm a pretty small guy and maybe it's the way I carry myself. My grandfather was a very tough and strong man.. I think it gave me a seriously skewed version of manhood I couldn't meet. Anyways, I was working in an entry level carpentry job last year and i shaved my depression beard.. my boss looked right at me and was like "wow, you look like a bitch, don't shave again." He was half-joking.. but what the fuck. I feel like that's the vibe I give off to blue collar guys. They can just sense it.. the weakness. No wonder I went crazy.

 

[Nauseated]

I feel like other guys of a rougher upbringing have always zeroed in on me. I'm a pretty small guy and maybe it's the way I carry myself. My grandfather was a very tough and strong man.. I think it gave me a seriously skewed version of manhood I couldn't meet. Anyways, I was working in an entry level carpentry job last year and i shaved my depression beard.. my boss looked right at me and was like "wow, you look like a bitch, don't shave again." He was half-joking.. but what the fuck. I feel like that's the vibe I give off to blue collar guys. They can just sense it.. the weakness. No wonder I went crazy.

You have to learn to roll with the punches working in jobs like that, and yeah its not going to be easy for you if you show any weakness. I use to do roofing this is how it was too, you need to have thick skin to do some of those jobs.

 

[typx]

You have to learn to roll with the punches working in jobs like that, and yeah its not going to be easy for you if you show any weakness. I use to do roofing this is how it was too, you need to have thick skin to do some of those jobs.

I wish, man. I am the thinnest skinned person I know. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has been running from criticism. I've never been able to control my reactions.. even when I had the energy to try.. people saw through it. Deep shame and insecurity.. it's like a giant wave of emotion just washes over me.

At that same job a young guy who was fresh out of jail.. drug dealer.. started working there. He zeroed in on me real quick. I think he would've beaten me up if he'd stayed on my crew. The rage that poured off him for me..

 

[Nauseated]

I feel like other guys of a rougher upbringing have always zeroed in on me. I'm a pretty small guy and maybe it's the way I carry myself. My grandfather was a very tough and strong man.. I think it gave me a seriously skewed version of manhood I couldn't meet. Anyways, I was working in an entry level carpentry job last year and i shaved my depression beard.. my boss looked right at me and was like "wow, you look like a bitch, don't shave again." He was half-joking.. but what the fuck. I feel like that's the vibe I give off to blue collar guys. They can just sense it.. the weakness. No wonder I went crazy.

It sucks man, just don't let them see it effect you break their balls a little bit to show you wont just lay down and take it you know. Those same guys go home at night and probably cry into their beer cans when no body is around they just fake it and put a macho act on around other men thats how it is.

 

[Nauseated]

I wish, man. I am the thinnest skinned person I know. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has been running from criticism. I've never been able to control my reactions.. even when I had the energy to try.. people saw through it. Deep shame and insecurity.. it's like a giant wave of emotion just washes over me.

At that same job a young guy who was fresh out of jail.. drug dealer.. started working there. He zeroed in on me real quick. I think he would've beaten me up if he'd stayed on my crew. The rage that poured off him for me..

Do you like milk? Start drinking a gallon of whole milk every day I guarantee you will start getting bigger, hitting the weights would help a lot too. I was skinny and got shit for it when I first entered high school, I started lifting and eating a fuck ton and people stopped fucking with me. Join a boxing gym it was the best thing I ever did in my life.

 

[typx]

Do you like milk? Start drinking a gallon of whole milk every day I guarantee you will start getting bigger, hitting the weights would help a lot too. I was skinny and got shit for it when I first entered high school, I started lifting and eating a fuck ton and people stopped fucking with me. Join a boxing gym it was the best thing I ever did in my life.

Hah, good idea. I have put on weight since then. The job I'm in now is better anyway. We work alone most of the time.

 

[Nauseated]

Hah, good idea. I have put on weight since then. The job I'm in now is better anyway. We work alone most of the time.

Oh shit I read that wrong I thought you said "I am the thinnest skinniest person i know" thats why i said that about the milk lol

 

[typx]

Oh shit I read that wrong I thought you said "I am the thinnest skinniest person i know" thats why i said that about the milk lol

Hah.. well I was always small. But my bigger problem is attitude.

 

[Nauseated]

Hah.. well I was always small. But my bigger problem is attitude.

Fake it man, learn to act. You have to make yourself less of a target that's why all those guys who had rougher upbringings are like the way they are, they had to fake it for so long as a means of survival. Keep your head up, shoulders back and chest out. Look people in the eyes don't look away or at their feet and practice on projecting your voice. All those things will change how people treat you from first impressions immediately and you will get more attention from women if that's your thing.

 

[typx]

Fake it man, learn to act. You have to make yourself less of a target that's why all those guys who had rougher upbringings are like the way they are, they had to fake it for so long as a means of survival. Keep your head up, shoulders back and chest out. Look people in the eyes don't look away or at their feet and practice on projecting your voice. All those things will change how people treat you from first impressions immediately and you will get more attention from women if that's your thing.

What brings you here?

 

[Nauseated]

What brings you here?

A series of many unfortunate events like many people here I think.

 

[6477244ts5]

I don't know if it will matter, and I certainly don't want it to sound like the "it gets better" platitudes or pressure, but I can tell you that as you get older, for the most part, the "what is on the inside matters more" thing is true. Everyone's looks fade. We all get wrinkly. The things that matter in any relationship are laid bare and you realize the superficial stuff was childish vanity. I know that doesn't make it easier to endure mockery or judgement in the times when so many peers are only caring about such things...but there is more to life than how a peer group's vain bullshit pressures you. It's your life so no judgement either way...but I hate to see anyone who has a future not be able to see it because of situational things like this. Be a beautiful person by being kind, empathetic, helping others. That's the only kind of beautiful that matters in the end.

 

[LordMassenmord]

i got bullied 10 years, idk even know why they just did it. They destroyed my stuff, beat me up, burned my hairs, locked me in bathrooms, they even Poisoned me etc

 

[6477244ts5]

i got bullied 10 years, idk even know why they just did it. They destroyed my stuff, beat me up, burned my hairs, locked me in bathrooms, they even Poisoned me etc

That shit is never about YOU. It's always about the bully. You were just shamefully the target they picked. They hate their lives, suffer themselves, and rather than taking the high road of being more kind and sympathetic to others who they can relate to...they punch downward to feel power and control. It's sick and wrong and nobody should have to suffer that.

 

[Nauseated]

That shit is never about YOU. It's always about the bully. You were just shamefully the target they picked. They hate their lives, suffer themselves, and rather than taking the high road of being more kind and sympathetic to others who they can relate to...they punch downward to feel power and control. It's sick and wrong and nobody should have to suffer that.

I don't know if it will matter, and I certainly don't want it to sound like the "it gets better" platitudes or pressure, but I can tell you that as you get older, for the most part, the "what is on the inside matters more" thing is true. Everyone's looks fade. We all get wrinkly. The things that matter in any relationship are laid bare and you realize the superficial stuff was childish vanity. I know that doesn't make it easier to endure mockery or judgement in the times when so many peers are only caring about such things...but there is more to life than how a peer group's vain bullshit pressures you. It's your life so no judgement either way...but I hate to see anyone who has a future not be able to see it because of situational things like this. Be a beautiful person by being kind, empathetic, helping others. That's the only kind of beautiful that matters in the end.

This is so very true.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Ya I did in high school because of my long hair and because I was gothic had people harass me, had people yell shit out the window at me when I was walking and other things.

 

[LoverofDeath]

Not sure if this counts but I was bullied for having a little bit of facial hair. Unfortunately I only had it because I'm south Asian and it was genetic. Specific girls in the older year groups would constantly harass and bully me even after I started removing it in Year 8. I was so naive and stupid back then. I would've probably never said this because of the embarrassment but since I'll be gone soon, I no longer care lol

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

I know how that feels loverofdeafh I didn't have facial hair at all in high school. I looked really young till about senior year and it used to bother me the comments people made. Now I am 28 and look about 20 which I like.

 

[lv-gras]

Also had the facial hair issue but didn't mind actually because secretly trans. Then was harassed in every way to "fix things" until did. Then couldn't handle it afterwards.

 

[icky]

Growing up, it was constant - from the kids at school and my older brother. There wasn't any reprieve until I hit High School and suddenly people either ignored me, talked behind my back, or a few people who were previously dickbags suddenly started acting nice. I never understood the change; a crack theory is that press coverage of school shootings were on the rise and kids decided to give the weird loners a break "just in case."

As an adult I have no confidence/self esteem or any luck with making friends. People still avoid me and if they have to interact with me, they either treat me with the bare minimum of courtesy. Sometimes they're openly rude but restrain themselves enough so that if I throw anything back at them, it makes me the asshole. Once in a while someone is actually nice and friendly but then I don't know how to react.

 

[mwu14]

Growing up, it was constant - from the kids at school and my older brother. There wasn't any reprieve until I hit High School and suddenly people either ignored me, talked behind my back, or a few people who were previously dickbags suddenly started acting nice. I never understood the change; a crack theory is that press coverage of school shootings were on the rise and kids decided to give the weird loners a break "just in case."

As an adult I have no confidence/self esteem or any luck with making friends. People still avoid me and if they have to interact with me, they either treat me with the bare minimum of courtesy. Sometimes they're openly rude but restrain themselves enough so that if I throw anything back at them, it makes me the asshole. Once in a while someone is actually nice and friendly but then I don't know how to react.

Your story mirrors mine except I still dealt with bullying in high school too. I had the people talking behind my back, making up lies and rumors to other people, reformed bullies. But also the confrontational bullying. People following me if I tried to eat lunch in the library and taunting me for not having anyone to sit with.

I've also had people as adults who didn't give me the bare minimum of courtesy when they were nice to everyone else. Whispering in other people's ears while looking at me to make sure I notice, deliberately avoiding eye contact and short-tempered during required interactions. Or started treating me the same way they treat everyone else only after knowing me for a period of time.

Being ugly, by society's standards, means that you see who people really are, not who they pretend to be. You're seeing their ugly side. Their own fears. By that, I'm referring to the people who think being ugly means you pose a physical threat to them and you weren't even remotely looking in their direction.

I've always wished I could jump into a different body, but it was never to fit in with people like that. It's because I don't like the way I look anyway, and you also need a certain amount of physical attractiveness to at least blend in and avoid this type of behavior.