Was happily in recovery but diagnosed with chronic illness last week and have relapsed

[henry22]

Just wanted to connect with others who have a chronic illness. I feel so defeated. I've spent every day, all day trying to make it better, doing my research, coordinating my care. Ultimately, there's a little voice that knows it will get worse anyway. I'm in my 20s. I was an attractive woman. In the span of a few months, I started balding, my face started sagging, I started breaking out on my body. I'm trying to cope with the fact that I will never be attractive again but it's so hard because it was just too soon. I now look like I am in my 40s. My mind has not caught up with how I look on the outside. Life is different. It was all taken away from me so fast. I will have this condition forever. I wonder if it's even worth it to keep going now that my health is gone.

Edit: Just to make it clear that my appearance changes are not all in my head, I have verified with physicians and friends.

 

[Glandular]

I was diagnosed last year and know how you feel. The hopelesness, the pointless research, believing that in x years there will be cure ... In other threads I already wrote that I had great plans for my life and was actually achieving them. I never thought I needed to think about ctb during my younger years. My everyday pain varies but it is always there - and there is only so much that I can take.

I wonder if it's even worth it to keep going now that my health is gone.

Yeah, I keep asking that myself. I have decided to fullfill a few of my bucket list items while I still can (= pain is still manageable). Then I will live as long as it is reasonable but I will be prepared.

 

[Inactive User]

I also have a chronic illness that was one of the reasons I was drawn to CTB. Mine strips me of my health and comfort but gives back only pain. Some days are worse than others, but I hold on because I know it is not my time yet, and I have the strength to keep going. Your life doesn't end after that diagnosis, but you find a new way to live it, should that be your choice. Good luck to you as you go forward

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, it's certainly very awful how existing here can very easily just get worse, it disgusts me how the flesh prison that is the human body can torture people so much. But anyway I wish you the best, it sounds really horrible and tiring what you have to endure, life really is so unnecessarily cruel.

 

[henry22]

I was diagnosed last year and know how you feel. The hopelesness, the pointless research, believing that in x years there will be cure ... In other threads I already wrote that I had great plans for my life and was actually achieving them. I never thought I needed to think about ctb during my younger years. My everyday pain varies but it is always there - and there is only so much that I can take.

Yeah, I keep asking that myself. I have decided to fullfill a few of my bucket list items while I still can (= pain is still manageable). Then I will live as long as it is reasonable but I will be prepared.

I also have a chronic illness that was one of the reasons I was drawn to CTB. Mine strips me of my health and comfort but gives back only pain. Some days are worse than others, but I hold on because I know it is not my time yet, and I have the strength to keep going. Your life doesn't end after that diagnosis, but you find a new way to live it, should that be your choice. Good luck to you as you go forward

Are you in therapy?

 

[Inactive User]

Are you in therapy?

Not currently in therapy, but it did help me a lot. Of course I'm still struggling because I'm on this forum, but that's due to a lot of other circumstances. It's not for everyone, and there's definitely some ppl here that will shit on it altogether, but it can be a helpful tool.

 

[Stormy Raine]

Having a chronic illness can definitely be challenging in life, there are good and bad days. What helps is finding online support groups for what your illness is. Online support groups are great, it nice to be around people who actually understand

 

[Glandular]

Are you in therapy?

Yes, I am. Multiple doctors actually and I'm currently looking into other treatment options. But it is a degenerative disease and even the best available treatments can only do so much. From my own research I know how much pain and suffering lies ahead of me. And I know how miserable my own "natural" death would be. CTB, in this case, is a rational choice.