Wanting to die but not wanting to die

[Anxi0usandDepressed]

Wanting to die but being scared of dying at the same time is the worst. Too scared to live, too scared to die. Just stuck here existing when I've already given up. Just taking up space, rotting away.

 

[CasperDaGhost]

We're at our core, creatures that want to live. No matter how much we rationalize or desire it. It's anathema to our most fundamental traits to yearn for death. That's why it's so hard, you're taking a look at what the world, instinct, society says is valuable, and telling it "fuck you I decide what is right." It's impossible to want death, you can only not want life more. Us suicidal people are stuck between two things we don't want, you just have to decide which one sucks less.

 

[inthislifeorthenext]

Can relate heavily to this. Haven't felt real since my failed attempts. Feels like I'm just bobbling along in purgatory.

 

[Polonium220]

I can relate to this, I'm so done with life but haven't got the courage to end things... Would rather live in misery so it seems

 

[spectraltease]

Wanting to die but being scared of dying at the same time is the worst. Too scared to live, too scared to die. Just stuck here existing when I've already given up. Just taking up space, rotting away.

I agree very badly. The feeling that you can't do anything destroys you. I think it will always be scary to die because humans have a self-preservation instinct that is supposed to save them and does everything to not die. In addition, death is really uncertain and you don't know what will come after that. My tip: Be convinced of your idea of perfect death. I don't know what you believe in, but believe in it.

I can relate to this, I'm so done with life but haven't got the courage to end things... Would rather live in misery so it seems

Making peace with death is key.

 

[matt1968]

I agree very badly. The feeling that you can't do anything destroys you. I think it will always be scary to die because humans have a self-preservation instinct that is supposed to save them and does everything to not die. In addition, death is really uncertain and you don't know what will come after that. My tip: Be convinced of your idea of perfect death. I don't know what you believe in, but believe in it.

Making peace with death is key.

Just this. Thank you!

Best wishes to all also feeling like this.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't think that anybody here wants to die, or at least not die cruelly. Suicide is just a quicker pathway to death after all and it's death that people want, not dying itself. Suicide is just a means to an end, not the end itself

 

[fleshgarden]

yeah this . it makes me feel trapped and I feel like I suffer even more. I know I want to die but there is something stopping me ... even though I have nothing to look forward and no hope.

 

[Umacon]

Wanting to die but being scared of dying at the same time is the worst. Too scared to live, too scared to die. Just stuck here existing when I've already given up. Just taking up space, rotting away.

Same here

 

[SuicidalSheep]

Thats been my life the past decade years.

 

[UKscotty]

Been this way for 25+ years too

Depression truly is awful, one minute all life sucks, the next life is wonderful and wandering how much you can pack into a day.

Recovery is but there is always hope until we take the last resort I guess.

How an illness evolved that convinces us to CTB will never make sense to me.