Wanting to ctb and relationships

[rorowanttogetout👍🏽]

Hi guys i have a question to the people who are in romantic relationships or looking for one and also want to ctb , what are your opinions and does your partner knows !? And are you still looking for relationship even when you want to ctb !Bc I am not in relationship and I refuse to be in one bc i don't want to bring someone into my life then shock them with my ctb, and also this question for people who have little kids or kids in general do y'all still plan to do it and if so are you guys preparing your partner and kids for it or what ?no judgement at all just really want to know

 

[woh6]

Hey! Not in a relationship right now. Not actively looking for one, am still kind of getting over my past one. Speaking of, I could offer some input on that. I had already been suicidal for a long time before I met him. About two months after we met I attempted. We weren't yet in a relationship - but were fwb. I had ghosted him a couple of days before attempting but I failed and while waiting in the ER I found I couldn't really talk to anyone about it except him. Unblocked him and he was a huge support. We didn't talk about suicide much after that. Eventually, we got into a relationship. I broke up with him though, due to issues. When I did, he asked me to promise him that if I ever felt like committing/very close to, to tell him. I think that was very sweet, but I don't think I ever will because I wouldn't want to burden him with that.

Furthermore, I agree with you, and think that getting into a relationship while planning/wanting to ctb isn't a very good idea!

 

[Zelda-frog]

I'm in a relationship and I told my boyfriend straight up that I honestly don't know when it's going to happen but it's going to be soon, like within this year. He tries to help me but I'm hinting that it's going to actually happen. I feel bad because we both love each other a lot and he said he was planning on proposing this year. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I really wish I could but it's too much yk. I think he understands but he obviously hopes I don't do anything

 

[rorowanttogetout👍🏽]

I'm in a relationship and I told my boyfriend straight up that I honestly don't know when it's going to happen but it's going to be soon, like within this year. He tries to help me but I'm hinting that it's going to actually happen. I feel bad because we both love each other a lot and he said he was planning on proposing this year. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I really wish I could but it's too much yk. I think he understands but he obviously hopes I don't do anything

Must be hard for both of y'all !! Sending you hugs

 

[UsagiDrop]

I'm in a relationship and my partner knows that I want to die. It's not necessarily something you can keep a secret in a long term relationship, and I've had ideation long before I met them. Due to my ideation I wasn't planning on getting into a relationship but shit happens, lol. I don't really have much of an opinion on it. I know that it makes them sad to imagine a future with someone who doesn't imagine a future at all, but there's a catch to being with anyone and I always leave the door unlocked for them to leave if it becomes too much. But my partner has basically created an obligation for me to stay alive and I kind of regret that aspect of it. It's not something cute like a promise or anything lol. A literal obligation that has me tied for at least a decade more. It's very unfortunate. I can't even leave the relationship with a clear conscience, now.

We are all going to bring someone in our lives and surprise them with a death at some point. Death is the natural end to all of our lives. So I don't really worry too much about it. It might sound cynical but they're going to lose me in one way or another, and they're going to have to deal with grief in some capacity when it comes to me. Everything that I do is to prepare them for a stable life without me and sometimes I resent doing it because it feels against my will due to the situation they mostly created for us, but they don't know that and I will not worry them with that knowledge. They're understanding of how I feel as they also have been suicidal before and have their own mental health issues to deal with, so if there ever comes a time where I decide to put my plan into action, I hope they can understand why I chose to go out in my own way. And if it happens sooner rather than later it will probably be because we've broken up and I'm no longer tied to that obligation, anyway.

I do agree that if you're planning to ctb then you shouldn't bring a partner or a child into the equation. They are a real damper on the plans and some may consider you selfish for doing so. I'm a cautionary tale, but it isn't so black and white. Things happen and sometimes they are out of our control.

 

[gotomrg]

my girlfriend knows. my first attempt was in a relationships with her. i still think she doesn't take it seriously though. otherwise she would be at least a little caring, i think. i hope she changes. whether i die or live really depends on how things are gonna be between us. i love her and if my love for a person turns out to be a self-built cage and a failure, then there's no reason left for me to stay

 

[minx]

My partner knows, in fact, we've met in a psychiatric ward. He has stopped me from CTBing before and while i understamd why, i can't help but to feel bitter about it. I am kind of conflicted about this whole situation because while they do make me feel better, it doesn't cure me. My will to die persists. Now i only have a tangible reason to think twice before trying something. I am grateful but also... just very frustrated and angry. I am not used to have something, anything to live for and in my darkest moments, i wish i was alone. But human heart is weak.

 

[lav3nder]

Hi guys i have a question to the people who are in romantic relationships or looking for one and also want to ctb , what are your opinions and does your partner knows !? And are you still looking for relationship even when you want to ctb !Bc I am not in relationship and I refuse to be in one bc i don't want to bring someone into my life then shock them with my ctb, and also this question for people who have little kids or kids in general do y'all still plan to do it and if so are you guys preparing your partner and kids for it or what ?no judgement at all just really want to know

I was dating and nope I darent not share..from the jump it was clear that he couldn't deal with any "mental health issues" so kept it to myself…and ngl I'm an expert at that. now I've finished recently with them, I don't think I'm intending to get in another relationship unless I'm certain I feel better. It's the same reason I can't see myself having children, wouldn't want them to go through mourning a mum who took their life as it would be history repeating itself