Venting Wanting to belong somewhere

[eaturdirt]

Why do people always have entire friendgroups?? Like how does that even work?? In my town there are quite a few "alternatively" dressed people, I am one of them too, but for some reason they all know each other and all seem to like each other and I just don't know why I don't make the cut? What is so different about me? Why, even when I do my uttermost best, can I not make new connections with others? It's like everyone sees something that I can't see and it's making me feel anxious, and honestly, it makes me feel like a big loser on top of that. I just want to belong somewhere. I just want to have friends.

 

[buoy]

I understand your feelings. This is said from a charismatic person that "makes friends wherever they go" but having friends is not as important as the relationship with yourself and ability to be alone. There needs to be balance, yes, but you is the first step in we. Hanging out with friendgroups and bunch of people just let's you see into yourself how the subtle selfish ways people are. If you want to be a part of a friend group, pick a hobby and pursue the fuck out of it. I skateboard so I meet skaters and we have our culture. If you do pottery, you'll develop certain tastes and be able o pick them out of crowds because of those shared tastes, the same way I pick out skaters in public. That and if you're pursuing your hobby, you're bound to connect with a fellow hobbyist somewhere whether you're going to an event, store, happen chance, or fuggin anywhere.
Also, this is meant to be said in optimism, but maybe you don't belong there? I say that as a freeing sense that if you aren't tied to anything or feel it is more important to pursue those relationships then what you currently exist with, then you are free to. There's lots of people with a lot of cultures and you're bound to connect more to one.