Venting Wanting Purpose

[Foxy]

I'm not entirely too sure why I'm here to begin with almost. I guess I wanted to communicate with others on their feelings about life too. Recently I've found myslef in a scenario where I'm pretty much just screwed entirely. I would like my life to have purpose which I choose to believe it does. Just not now it seems. Without giving into too much detail I'm essentially just kind of annoyed with this constant feeling of having to hurry up and be more I guess. Right now I feel like the world kind of just wants me to off myself yet I kind of don't want to. In a lot of ways I really do want to proceed with life but right now kind of not. I've had this feeling fester with me for a long time in some ways. I might just be bored and looking for freinds which I don't have many of that I give a damn about. I really want to blame the world for my problems and it's people but I can't. I feel like a just contribute nothing and shit. Man I don't know. My name here doesn't know. I don't know. Maybe knowing isn't the problem. If anyone wants to give some insight into this feel free to. I am not here to save you or even myslef. I am here to contemplate and learn in a way. With all that said this is my first thread. I may make more as I work things out I guess and come to a solution.

 

[Centende]

I had the same thought and I try and tell myself if I can't summon up any energy to live a good scenario for myself maybe I can just buy gifts and send them to my freinds in PA from oregon so even if im miserable I can know some good folks are getting to have fun and get joy.. that dosent work for my obviously but maybe it will be what i end up doing with my time eventually your for sure going to find a bunch of purpose soon go get it hahahaah

 

[Nephis]

In more ways than one I understand what it is that you mean, I'm the same the world seems to want me to die, yet I don't want to...However I know I can't continue because the pain would be to much, my future to bleak.

 

[suicidalloser]

Only you can decide.

 

[Foxy]

In more ways than one I understand what it is that you mean, I'm the same the world seems to want me to die, yet I don't want to...However I know I can't continue because the pain would be to much, my future to bleak.

Maybe I don't feel extremely hopeless or something like that but still hopeless enough in a way to start beung concerned for myself. You might me way more miserable than me and some other people here and if that's the case then I really hope for the best in your regards. It's difficult thinking about how you could be talking to someone here one day and then the next their gone, dead, bucket kicked, and it was not your fault at all pretty much. There are people who really believe that by commiting suicide that their suffering will end and at the end of the day I hope that many of them receive the sort of peace they might deserve I guess. I'm basically just at rock bottom right now in my life and I'm nearly twenty years old. I want to do at least something with my life but in a lot of ways it might not be enough it seems like. Maybe I'm just stupid for making a response this long but my might still. Maybe it really is better for some people to end the pain but at what cost I can't be sure of. I really hope tge best for these people who need help. They might not deserve help but they need it.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Feeling hopeless is a perfectly normal reaction to living in this dreadful world.
The need to seriously contemplate CTB is equal to how hopeless you are actually feeling.
If you feel the effort you put into life just isn't going to be worth the reward, and you have a deep knowing that life is truly pointless and meaningless, then the whole point of existing any longer will become futile.
The juice ain't worth the squeeze as they say.

 

[suicidalloser]

Feeling hopeless is a perfectly normal reaction to living in this dreadful world.
The need to seriously contemplate CTB is equal to how hopeless you are actually feeling.
If you feel the effort you put into life just isn't going to be worth the reward, and you have a deep knowing that life is truly pointless and meaningless, then the whole point of existing any longer will become futile.
The juice ain't worth the squeeze as they say.

when will this agonizing dread end?

 

[Tobacco]

And for the opposite, well, there is not a lot of hope.