Want to kill myself because of PSSD

[PSSDsufferer]

Hi,

I am considering suicide because I have PSSD (post-SSRI sexual dysfunction). For those unfamiliar, this is basically a condition where you take antidepressants and experience loss of libido and sexual dysfunction indefinitely after ceasing the meds. I stopped Prozac 3 years ago and I still have zero libido and am completely impotent. Furthermore, I have absolutely no romantic desire or inklings (apart from sex).

I'm a 29 year old guy and I just can't stomach the concept of living for the next 50-60 years as a eunuch. My family tries to tell me to go to CBT but i feel that as long as I have PSSD I won't be able to enjoy life.

At this point I eventually want to just buy a gun and do myself in. I feel lobotomized from anti depressants. I really am in such anguish every day that I am alive.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

In the past few weeks there was another thread by another male with the same issues. I don't have experience in this area but thought to mention it in case you'd like to search for the thread. You might be able to connect with others via that thread.

 

[Meretlein]

I don't know if this will make you feel better or not.

I've lived my entire life without having sexual or romantic feelings for someone. People talking about sexual and romantic feelings is like people talking about a color I can't see. It used to be bother me because I wanted to be like other people but I stopped caring by the time I was 17/18. I loved hanging out with my friends and I had hobbies that entertained me. There are still people to meet who will bring you joy, places to go, and experiences to have.

I know it is different if you become that way instead of just being born like this. I can't imagine it, I just wanted to say that this isn't guaranteed to make your life miserable. Whatever choice you make is valid though.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about your condition and it sucks as I had been a virgin (not fully by choice either) until just a few months ago. (I even resorted to directly paying money for it "legally" in order to lose my virginity). I couldn't imagine how much suffering it would be for decades so I fully understand and empathize with you wishing to CTB over it. To me, it is a valid reason and ultimately, it is your decision. I hope you are able to find peace in whatever choice you decide to take.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

I posted about my celibacy a few months back, and the situation is pretty well ongoing since then, although I am working on it. Although I don't have PSSD myself, my sex drive isn't what it once was since I am just reaching the terminal cusp of my own sexual prime as a 30 year old woman. But I still want sex, and need it in order to feel alive. Realistically I only have about one orgasm a week in me, if that, probably bi-monthly is a more realistic estimate of my sexual capacities at this point, but those feelings are still, so, so important to me when they do arise, even if they aren't as frequent as they used to be 10 or 15 years ago. I fully understand and sympathize with you on the pleasureless existence question. Dripping water hollows stone and each day that passes without feeling any pleasure to provide a balance and relief from the painful aspects of life is just, another eroding force at play. That would wear a person thin, definitely. I am so sorry you have lost that part of yourself, saying goodbye to our sexual selves is something we all have to come to terms with eventually as you said normally in our 40's or 50's, but you are right that especially for a man, 29 is way too young. You have been robbed of a lot and it isn't fair. The pharmaceutical companies should compensate you for the damage incurred but I am sure that is an uphill battle a person in your situation may not be keen to pursue. But it is a profound loss, absolutely, although not one that can be seen, much less easily processed or grieved. I am so sorry and we are here for you regardless of how you decide to proceed with this situation that has caused you so much pain.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

I can relate. I have no desire for romantic encounters apart from sex, but even then the desire is not strong enough to actually pursue it.

 

[Zoltiel]

Bet you never thought anything like this could ever happen 3 years ago did ya? Haha. That is how it happened to many of us here. Life was going just fine, a few struggles here and there, no big deal.. and then BAM! Your life is now permanently ruined with no hope, and you begin planning CTB. Almost comical isn't it?

Btw, here is a thread of a guy with the same problem as you from a few weeks ago:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/absolute-mindfuck.29595/

 

[mesohappy]

When I was on SSRIs,they didn't really mess with my sex drive or performance..If anything it seemed like it took me longer to climax and when I did it was a little more intense..And when I stopped taking them a few years ago,it didn't really effect me like that either.I did have problems with the "brain zaps" and weird stuff where I would be walking and it would feel like I suddenly stepped off a curb or into a hole or something.My loss of libido and drive has been recent.Like just over the last year or two.As it is now, I have absolutely no desire at all.I don't even look at porn anymore.But strangely it doesn't bother me much.Maybe Im just getting old.Or my depression has progressed,I don't know.I think I kind of like being a eunuch.

 

[Thebuddhacel]

I can understand you man. Im 25 and have ed since 14, never did sex.

 

[mathieu]

Sorry to hear of your situation. Psych meds have affected my sexual function too.

 

[Polka]

Maybe it will come back. We just do not know. Have you checked your hormones or other related medical issues that might be causing this?

You will save a lot of energy and $ that could be spent on yourself or those you choose if sexual relationships are not in your world.

Romance is just brain chemicals then they fade and reality sets in and the hard work begins.

 

[Shamana]

Sorry to hear it. Same things happened to me 12 years ago.

 

[LittleJem]

There is a PSSD Facebook Group where some people have found a treatment that helps them - it is worth joining/looking at.

I don't have PSSD but I think I looked at the group, as I wanted to know more about the possible impact of medication

 

[Supersadmommy90]

Bet you never thought anything like this could ever happen 3 years ago did ya? Haha. That is how it happened to many of us here. Life was going just fine, a few struggles here and there, no big deal.. and then BAM! Your life is now permanently ruined with no hope, and you begin planning CTB. Almost comical isn't it?

This is really how it be. I can't remember who but someone had written below their profile "we're all only one bad event away from wanting to die." Paraphrasing because this wasn't exactly how he put it. It's alarming how much of a true-ism this is. life is happy and exciting and full of potential until all of a sudden it isn't.

 

[S1mpleme]

Hi,

I am considering suicide because I have PSSD (post-SSRI sexual dysfunction). For those unfamiliar, this is basically a condition where you take antidepressants and experience loss of libido and sexual dysfunction indefinitely after ceasing the meds. I stopped Prozac 3 years ago and I still have zero libido and am completely impotent. Furthermore, I have absolutely no romantic desire or inklings (apart from sex).

I'm a 29 year old guy and I just can't stomach the concept of living for the next 50-60 years as a eunuch. My family tries to tell me to go to CBT but i feel that as long as I have PSSD I won't be able to enjoy life.

At this point I eventually want to just buy a gun and do myself in. I feel lobotomized from anti depressants. I really am in such anguish every day that I am alive.

Did you try any meds to get back your libido? Prostitutes, experiments? Your family tell you to CTB? That's unusual.

 

[Shamana]

Did you try any meds to get back your libido? Prostitutes, experiments? Your family tell you to CTB? That's unusual.

CBT not CTB

 

[S1mpleme]

CBT not CTB

What that means? So many letters, I'm confused.

 

[Shamana]

What that means? So many letters, I'm confused.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

 

[BPD Barbie]

I completely lost my sex drive after starting SSRI's, even when alone I just can't get anywhere. Its frustrating as I did enjoy it before. Hoping it will return if I stop them or just over time as I become more accustomed to taking them. Sending you love

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

That is why I want to kill myself too. I had an injury and my lifestyle is not the same as before it. I miss it so much.

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

I suffer from a similar condition: PAS (Post-Accutane Syndrome). I've had complete loss of libido since 17, and I also have other symptoms as well. The sexual side effects and brain fog alone made me want to kill myself. I understand completely where you're coming from.

 

[faust]

I clearly understand you...
Unfortunately it is the syndrome which doctors never tell about.
Just wanted to know, do you suffer from anhedonia?
In few words it is when you can't feel pleasure from whatever you do.
I feel no pleasure after SSRI.
Everything was bad before SSRI and now it seems unfixable at all.
I can live a sexual life though but I feel like I don't need it anymore.

 

[MyChoiceToLeave]

Insomnia and PSSD are the main reasons that I want to end it all. There have been very few cases of PSSD that were recovered. I've searched all the groups about PSSD. Maybe you can recover, but it takes a lot of money, experimental treatments, time and patience. With COVID-19 as a factor now too, that makes it even more difficult to get the help you need. And even if PSSD weren't an issue, how do you start dating now? It's all so frustrating and confusing. I'm sorry PSSD happened to you.

 

[N0FWayIneedtogo]

This is hell on earth, those mf drugs poison me, destroyed everithing i had, my emotions, personality, joy, happiness, motivation, sex, orgasms, intelect, hobbies cuz i dont enjoy and feel pleasure anymore, cant even feel love wtffff. Im destroyed.