naicooro
New Member
- Aug 9, 2025
- 2
I keep making plans to kill myself but I never actually go through with it. I just got told I failed out from my dream school (yay) so I'm pretty certain that I'm going to atleast try to ctb this week or go to inpatient.
I could go voluntary especially since I've never gone to a psychiatrist/psychologist or been given any meds but I think my family is going to see voluntary as attention-seeking. I don't want seem like I'm making a threat by doing so nor coward from my problems like I have. + I'd feel kinda gross/like I'm invading in a space I don't belong when I haven't actually attempted. I'd feel so silly walking up to the front desk at the ER and saying "hi I want to kill myself"
But I also don't see myself getting over my complacency with my current life unless I actually go through and try to kill myself. It's stupid to think that otc meds and cutting myself would kill me but if it doesn't work I'll atleast be forced to go the hospital and some change will hopefully come. But either way the end result is probably the same :/
I could go voluntary especially since I've never gone to a psychiatrist/psychologist or been given any meds but I think my family is going to see voluntary as attention-seeking. I don't want seem like I'm making a threat by doing so nor coward from my problems like I have. + I'd feel kinda gross/like I'm invading in a space I don't belong when I haven't actually attempted. I'd feel so silly walking up to the front desk at the ER and saying "hi I want to kill myself"
But I also don't see myself getting over my complacency with my current life unless I actually go through and try to kill myself. It's stupid to think that otc meds and cutting myself would kill me but if it doesn't work I'll atleast be forced to go the hospital and some change will hopefully come. But either way the end result is probably the same :/
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