It was extremely gard to find sanctionned suicide, because it's not a sub group in the main social media but a separate site, and search engines are full of pro life propaganda, telling me to call the hotline so they can send the cops & lock me up without a trial. It makes us want to die more. When I arrived at sanctionned suicide, my plan was to hang myself. Instead to tell me not to do it, that life is magic, to pray jesus... I FINALLY had a serious discussion about suicide. I was told that if I hang myself as planned, I could end up fully paralyzed and mute. I was given an article with scary photos. Was told not to die on impulse and to research properly. (As long as you research you are still alive.) I looked into partial hanging. Now I look into SN, not because the site forced me to. But because it seems more peaceful than my plan & less crippling if I fail. Easier to save me. I would have killed or mutilated myself by now without the loving support of members here. I'm here more and more because I suffer offline and gave up asking for help because I only get blames, ridicule & threats. I'm sadder because of what people do to me offline. I come to sanctionned suicide more because they comfort me, they give me friendship, they understand the pain, instead to tell me that I deserve to suffer to get rid of me. The mother spoke about ger dead son as if he was a happy 6 years old then we broke him with bullying and made him kill himself. He was an old adult! You must want to die BEFORE coming here to find us. She probably didn't let him go out to see his friends & made him sleep with a mask because she "cares" so much. Not doing shit to cheer him up while she knew he was depressed. She went along with the government destroying our right to live free over a flu, purely by being control freaks. Crushing the life & souls & freedom out of people. Then blaming the internet, games, tv, demons... Instead to admit that she never bothered to hug & listen to her son for months. WE DID! We heard his wish to die & helped him not do it in a way that'd make his life worse. Knowledge is power. We gave him power. We gave him compassion. If he still wanted to die after all the love we give, then his life was unbearable. I blame his environment, parents, school, government. Even the kids who wanted to help each other were forced not to. To stay alone and thonk how svary dying of vovid would be. Well people would rather DIE than live in fear, than stop living. We understand that. There are things worse than death. SS is not one of them. Being infantilized by our mother as an adult can be soul crushing. If she cared so much she should have said so while she still could. Suicide is like abortions. You can try to make it illegal & hide safe ways to do it. People will just use brutal ways instead. You just prolonging the agony with no alternative solution. And that pushes people to die. I found SS thanks to an article saying how evil it is. And there I finally found the compassion that social services denied me.