Excuse my grammar I'm terrible with words.
I am struggling so much with anger how I've been treated by what you may want to call God
Every hour of the day a new scenario from my past that caused me nothing but pain so God can jerk his sick sense of humour
Example today I just recalled when I was 15 a shy boy that wasn't getting help horrible home life and few friends.
I was with one of those friends and we were arriving back into our town off the train, a spaniel was nibbling at my feet next thing my shoulder has a sharp pain I'm being dragged to the side to a bunch of police
Confused terrified heart pounding I am being searched in front of 100+ people (which I'm not sure is right)
Anyway some kids had got wind of it and were laughing taking pictures etc.
After 30+ minutes of questioning my life was half ruined looking back I was terrified of things like if someone put a crumb of cannabis in my shoe and I went to prison got raped bullied in there (at this time I was very god fearing due to my parents improper teachings)
I was worried I wouldn't be able to get a job because it would be a criminal record, I didn't understand.
I was worried my friend would no longer want to associate with me.
It generally made me realize how defenceless I was.
Only one officer was polite to me as let me go he was insinuating that I was a drug user who just had the scent of on me and could tell I wasn't carrying anything but being accused is sad when I was actually sad at the time of being left out by other kids introduction to drugs I didn't even have the opportunity till I was 20
It was God rubbing it in that I was alone.
I never got any help whilst people who know how to play the system use all the resources and those who need it get tortured by those people.
No one innocent should suffer then left to cope alone, taught to hide it.
People ask if you're OK as long as you never say you're not OK.
What happened to me was wrong of course this is one of a thousand incidents that had an impact in shaping.
God is an evil fucking sadist the concept of the devil is better than God when you realize this it's heartbreaking. And people who say this get silenced, the only person who got away with stating the obvious is Al. Pacino because in this sick culture he's a good actor so it goes down as a movie.
This life is the snidiest, slimiest, corrupt, utterload of nonsensical absolute horror show but everyone loves it because. WOO HOO you have a computer in your palm of your hand YEAHHHH HOW COOL. you get to eat a thousand types of bread not to mention a hundred thousand types of donuts.
How stupid does it have to get
We live in a world that it's actually very possible Satan worshipping pedophiles run everything and all sorts of weird interdimsional, aliens, time travel activity is taking place within this reality.
But woo hoo new dance song in the charts this week so awesome
I am struggling so much with anger how I've been treated by what you may want to call God
Every hour of the day a new scenario from my past that caused me nothing but pain so God can jerk his sick sense of humour
Example today I just recalled when I was 15 a shy boy that wasn't getting help horrible home life and few friends.
I was with one of those friends and we were arriving back into our town off the train, a spaniel was nibbling at my feet next thing my shoulder has a sharp pain I'm being dragged to the side to a bunch of police
Confused terrified heart pounding I am being searched in front of 100+ people (which I'm not sure is right)
Anyway some kids had got wind of it and were laughing taking pictures etc.
After 30+ minutes of questioning my life was half ruined looking back I was terrified of things like if someone put a crumb of cannabis in my shoe and I went to prison got raped bullied in there (at this time I was very god fearing due to my parents improper teachings)
I was worried I wouldn't be able to get a job because it would be a criminal record, I didn't understand.
I was worried my friend would no longer want to associate with me.
It generally made me realize how defenceless I was.
Only one officer was polite to me as let me go he was insinuating that I was a drug user who just had the scent of on me and could tell I wasn't carrying anything but being accused is sad when I was actually sad at the time of being left out by other kids introduction to drugs I didn't even have the opportunity till I was 20
It was God rubbing it in that I was alone.
I never got any help whilst people who know how to play the system use all the resources and those who need it get tortured by those people.
No one innocent should suffer then left to cope alone, taught to hide it.
People ask if you're OK as long as you never say you're not OK.
What happened to me was wrong of course this is one of a thousand incidents that had an impact in shaping.
God is an evil fucking sadist the concept of the devil is better than God when you realize this it's heartbreaking. And people who say this get silenced, the only person who got away with stating the obvious is Al. Pacino because in this sick culture he's a good actor so it goes down as a movie.
This life is the snidiest, slimiest, corrupt, utterload of nonsensical absolute horror show but everyone loves it because. WOO HOO you have a computer in your palm of your hand YEAHHHH HOW COOL. you get to eat a thousand types of bread not to mention a hundred thousand types of donuts.
How stupid does it have to get
We live in a world that it's actually very possible Satan worshipping pedophiles run everything and all sorts of weird interdimsional, aliens, time travel activity is taking place within this reality.
But woo hoo new dance song in the charts this week so awesome
