Venting Very sad

[animetal]

I'm having such a hard time coping with what my life is right now . I can't accept this is how things are and this is how things went. I feel so out of touch with reality I barely go outside I haven't worked in two weeks and I have to go back next week but I'm terribly worried,I've tried therapy and it didn't work, I feel nothing will work for me no matter how hard I try. Every day that goes on is just me feeling regretful for the past. I feel horrible because none of this probably would have happened if I spoke up about the abuse I was going through but I was scared and it went on for five years and my mom blames me but she wasn't someone I could go and talk to either. I did understand what was happening to me at the time but now that I'm older it really I feel it's unfair that he can just live his life and act like nothing happened and then when I finally told my mom he acted like I was lying and I made it up because i was mad . My reality feels so distorted because of the trauma I endured for years . I feel like I can never just be me. I wanted to live and do so many things and I just feel really sad because any hope I had is completely shattered. I wish I could go back in time but I can't and since my future isn't looking so good i feel it's better for me to end it now before it gets worst . Even though I'm 20 I know it's considered still young but I feel there's no chance of me having a normal life ever again . It feels like my life was ruined before it even started because I have no way to cope with anything.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so awful what you are going through, it's such a horrible world we exist in where humans create so much unnecessary suffering. But anyway I wish you the best, existence is just too cruel.

 

[Gaga786]

I'm 20 too, and I feel so broken. My mother also blames me for not opening about the bullying and abuse. Im sorry to see suffering so immensely. Please take care of yourself. Wishing you the best!