Very messy divorce and money situation. Thinking about killing myself to spite my ex and put him in debt.

[SHThrowAway213]

Not the only reason, I have posted here plenty of times, but this is the latest.
Me and my ex has separated.
We bought a flat. I put down the deposit, but it is a joint mortgage.
He said yesterday that he isn't going to help me pay it while we are in the process of selling the flat, because he has to pay his Nan rent.
He refuses to talk to his Nan about our situation, saying it is unfair that I'm expecting him to pay it when he is going to get no money.
Luckily, we got a declaration of trust so I get my deposit back and we split the rest.
I can't afford to pay the mortgage by myself.
Also, on top of this, he put an overdraft on our joint account when I said it was a bad idea, and a paypal credit account, on which when are now 500 quid into our overdraft and he owes 3 grand to paypal.
I know I have to sort out the joint account, as that is affecting my credit score. But when the flat is sold he is expecting me to transfer the money to cover his paypal credit account.
I've decided I am not going to do that, but I will not be telling him his until after the flat has sold, if I'm still around.
But I am worried he will get the money for the flat sale, but we are finding it hard to sell as estate agents won't take provisional driving licenses as ID.
We also don't have any of the documents we need either as we lost them
I am thinking about getting a will written to say if the flat does get sold, that the money goes to my family, but that is going to be expensive. You also need 2 witnesses to sign it and no one I know would do it.
I know me dying will complety fuck him over, as he is on UC at 400 a month, and the mortgage is 379.
He wouldn't be able to sell the flat either, as all the documents are lost and he only has a provisional driving license.
It seems like the only way out.

 

[LifeSucks39]

Are you sure you wanna do this for him?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Are you sure you wanna do this for him?

Honestly it seems like too much work collecting all the documents and finding out a way to afford the mortgage.
I've also struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was 12, I have attempted before but this time it seems like I have to otherwise my whole life will be ruined.
There's a sense of urgency to it.

 

[Ghost2211]

That's such a cold and heartless situation he's put you in. Feeling trapped seems to be a common reason to CTB. could you file for bankruptcy to erase the debt.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

That's such a cold and heartless situation he's put you in. Feeling trapped seems to be a common reason to CTB. could you file for bankruptcy to erase the debt.

I'm not sure how to go about doing that, and that will completey ruin my credit score.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm not sure how to go about doing that, and that will completey ruin my credit score.

Yeah, that is the downside. You said you have other reasons to want to die, and they have been long standing, so I can see why this situation has pushed you over the edge. If you desire to fight on you can contact a lawyer for a free consult, or search the internet for how to handle these things relative to your local area.

I can however see the pleasure in screwing him over. Sucks you wouldn't be there to see the results though.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

This sounds like such a horrible situation to be in. On the one hand, it seems like a horrible thing to CTB for the purpose of hurting someone, but at the same time you have been pushed into this situation by being forced to pay someone else's debt when you can't afford it. I can certainly understand why you would want out because I would feel the same way in that situation.

could you file for bankruptcy to erase the debt.

From what I have heard, that can be a good way to get out of the pressure of having to pay huge amounts of debt, but it will still ruin a person's credit, which could lead to them wanting to CTB eventually if another situation comes up because finding help would be a lot more difficult.

I'm sorry you have to be mixed up in all that BS @SHThrowAway213. I hope that you can make the best decision for yourself and be at peace with it afterwards. I wish I had some kind of advice, but I've got nothing unfortunately. I just hope things work out and I wish you didn't have to die for your situation to improve.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Yeah, that is the downside. You said you have other reasons to want to die, and they have been long standing, so I can see why this situation has pushed you over the edge. If you desire to fight on you can contact a lawyer for a free consult, or search the internet for how to handle these things relative to your local area.

I can however see the pleasure in screwing him over. Sucks you wouldn't be there to see the results though.

I don't have the fight left in me anymore.

 

[TheQ22]

He sounds - and sorry if I'm getting this wrong - but he sounds like he's playing you like a fiddle.

Sorry - it's what my ex wife did to me.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

This sounds like such a horrible situation to be in. On the one hand, it seems like a horrible thing to CTB for the purpose of hurting someone, but at the same time you have been pushed into this situation by being forced to pay someone else's debt when you can't afford it. I can certainly understand why you would want out because I would feel the same way in that situation.



From what I have heard, that can be a good way to get out of the pressure of having to pay huge amounts of debt, but it will still ruin a person's credit, which could lead to them wanting to CTB eventually if another situation comes up because finding help would be a lot more difficult.

I'm sorry you have to be mixed up in all that BS @SHThrowAway213. I hope that you can make the best decision for yourself and be at peace with it afterwards. I wish I had some kind of advice, but I've got nothing unfortunately. I just hope things work out and I wish you didn't have to die for your situation to improve.

Thank you.

He sounds - and sorry if I'm getting this wrong - but he sounds like he's playing you like a fiddle.

Sorry - it's what my ex wife did to me.

It's too stressful.
I want to do it tomorrow, but I'm supposed to see my sister and her boyfriend on Wednesday.
I have not seen them in a while, and they know of my situation and want to make sure I'm ok

 

[TheQ22]

Thank you.

It's too stressful.
I want to do it tomorrow, but I'm supposed to see my sister and her boyfriend on Wednesday.
I have not seen them in a while, and they know of my situation and want to make sure I'm ok

Act in haste, repent at leisure.

Never do anything, especially something with such finite repercussions, in a moment of angst or anger.

Take your time, make sure that you are sure, and only then do the deed.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Act in haste, repent at leisure.

Never do anything, especially something with such finite repercussions, in a moment of angst or anger.

Take your time, make sure that you are sure, and only then do the deed.

Thank you, I am trying to make sure I am making the right decision

 

[TheQ22]

Thank you, I am trying to make sure I am making the right decision

This is what I'm doing too.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Not the only reason, I have posted here plenty of times, but this is the latest.
Me and my ex has separated.
We bought a flat. I put down the deposit, but it is a joint mortgage.
He said yesterday that he isn't going to help me pay it while we are in the process of selling the flat, because he has to pay his Nan rent.
He refuses to talk to his Nan about our situation, saying it is unfair that I'm expecting him to pay it when he is going to get no money.
Luckily, we got a declaration of trust so I get my deposit back and we split the rest.
I can't afford to pay the mortgage by myself.
Also, on top of this, he put an overdraft on our joint account when I said it was a bad idea, and a paypal credit account, on which when are now 500 quid into our overdraft and he owes 3 grand to paypal.
I know I have to sort out the joint account, as that is affecting my credit score. But when the flat is sold he is expecting me to transfer the money to cover his paypal credit account.
I've decided I am not going to do that, but I will not be telling him his until after the flat has sold, if I'm still around.
But I am worried he will get the money for the flat sale, but we are finding it hard to sell as estate agents won't take provisional driving licenses as ID.
We also don't have any of the documents we need either as we lost them
I am thinking about getting a will written to say if the flat does get sold, that the money goes to my family, but that is going to be expensive. You also need 2 witnesses to sign it and no one I know would do it.
I know me dying will complety fuck him over, as he is on UC at 400 a month, and the mortgage is 379.
He wouldn't be able to sell the flat either, as all the documents are lost and he only has a provisional driving license.
It seems like the only way out.

First of all, how on earth did you manage to buy the flat without proper ID? Do you have no deeds or any of the paperwork to your home? I have no words for this. Learn from this mistake. These are some fo the most important documents you will ever own.
You absolutely need to get in touch with legal aid or Citizens advice to understand where you are at with all this. You will get nowhere until you speak to them. This is a complex legal matter and to take your on like to spite your ex seems like such an angry waste.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

First of all, how on earth did you manage to buy the flat without proper ID? Do you have no deeds or any of the paperwork to your home? I have no words for this. Learn from this mistake. These are some fo the most important documents you will ever own.
You absolutely need to get in touch with legal aid or Citizens advice to understand where you are at with all this. You will get nowhere until you speak to them. This is a complex legal matter and to take your on like to spite your ex seems like such an angry waste.

Because the bank allowed us to use our provisional driving licences, that's how.
They got lost because I have a bad memory due to my PTSD, and this isnt the only reason I want to kill myself.
I am ringing up the bank to explain the situation soon.

 

[Adamsnolife]

Shit . Sorry you are going through a very tough period

 

[Emily_Numb]

Because the bank allowed us to use our provisional driving licences, that's how.
They got lost because I have a bad memory due to my PTSD, and this isnt the only reason I want to kill myself.
I am ringing up the bank to explain the situation soon.

The bank isn't going to help you with the legal aspect of this. But good luck.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

The bank isn't going to help you with the legal aspect of this. But good luck.

I do actually know that but hopefully they will reduce the payments.
Thank you.