Dolphin55
Member
- Jan 7, 2023
- 179
I'm a pretty useless person, why should I go to all this effort? It's not as if anyone ever particularly wanted to save me, it's not as if I've ever done anything to in particular to make me deserving of saving. Most people, if they met me, would not really like me or really see any worth in me. For what is all this pain for? Why do I continue to put myself through this? I'm just a shameful failure and ultimately I don't deserve to be here…I don't belong here.
My thoughts currently. Irrational? Some of it. But I'm SO tired of this shit. I continue to drag myself through the muck, torture myself every single day for some stupid hope of things somehow improving, for some stupid belief I could one day be of value, out of some stupid sense of duty towards people who were perfectly content to let me drown in the muck. Everything just seems to stupid. It feels unbelievably stupid for me to try to continue. I'm fucking retarded for thinking I could ever change any of this.
My thoughts currently. Irrational? Some of it. But I'm SO tired of this shit. I continue to drag myself through the muck, torture myself every single day for some stupid hope of things somehow improving, for some stupid belief I could one day be of value, out of some stupid sense of duty towards people who were perfectly content to let me drown in the muck. Everything just seems to stupid. It feels unbelievably stupid for me to try to continue. I'm fucking retarded for thinking I could ever change any of this.