Venting Venting through my brain fog 🧠⃠ .

[Archness]

I h8 this. So much I'd like to write, but no good, can't even start. Often come here to post, but rly end up only browsing/reading --> lurk.

I utterly, cannot give a shit, fkn kill me, too bad for me ain't it; missing all the shit, all the internet content I was planning to consume... As a reprise for just being alive. I guess I don't rly need those do I, esp /w ctb.

Rly @ this point I only live to escape it, in daydreams, fantasy, games, maybe I can tune it out with noise, YouTube, memes, etc.
But there's often times where I can't escape, I can't distract, I'm stuck in reality, thinking for real.

Today alot, I was far too aware that I wasn't really living at all.
I was also unable to rly muster up any mental energy, tho at least I can play/enjoy cdda a good bit (for now).
It's increasingly setting in that my NEET life might end up my entire life; even /w a job, I'd just go to work or home, maybe elsewhere to grab necessities and etc.

Hell, I'd prefer a livable job 2 rly live by myself. I need distractions from my distractions I guess too.

. . .

My life is already OVER .

My hopes are gone, my dreams tossed aside incompatible /w reality.
Nothing to look forward to, no better future, because It's already as good as it'll get.
I can't run, but I'm so weak, I'll simply die.

Too bad for me, ain't it?
S h i t .

 

[DeadPool360]

Lurking isn't even a bad thing most members here lurk instead of posting anything although Idk what you been through to make you like this I can relate I usually spend my time doing anything to distract me from thinking about my life couse I am in a situation where every option is messed up so I just do anything to make myself busy I know there is a future and all but I just don't want it cause I feel like it will just be a lonely one I don't have anymore energy to look for new friends or to fix the old ones sometimes my thoughts go a bit too dark and too deep (I once sharpened a knife just to hurt myself thought it could make me feel better) but I am still living and hope you find help in this site and live too
By the way if the feelings get too much try to breath slowly sometimes it will help by making you cry or calm down if it doesn't try to sleep most of the times when you sleep after being sad you get a happy and satisfying dream'