toxicjester
The world’s worst jester
- Dec 11, 2023
- 8
My gf is trans and didn't get to where she wanted to be in her transition. She cries about it so much and I end up not being able to help, sometimes just making it worse. I don't know how to help, she talks about ctb often, saying she can't be happy until she passes. I'm also trans but not binary trans and she says I don't actually understand her and her situation and she doesn't trust my opinion about anything in this regard.
We still live with her family and neither of us have jobs atm, with her being out of work for close to 3 years since she wanted to focus on her transition and me losing my position towards the end of February this year because of hostile work environment stuff. We have no savings and only she can drive.
Sometimes I think about leaving the relationship, but she's the only person I have and I'm afraid she'll actually ctb if I go. I still really love her and just wish I could make it work, sometimes it feels like if our situations were different we could be together for a long time with no issues.
On the other hand I also feel extremely trapped with everything in general, I've become more of a recluse and the idea of going out or being in my car makes me so anxious. It makes me wish I never existed and makes me wish I could just have a plan to do anything. I peaked in high school and will never be anything more than a failure to everyone
We still live with her family and neither of us have jobs atm, with her being out of work for close to 3 years since she wanted to focus on her transition and me losing my position towards the end of February this year because of hostile work environment stuff. We have no savings and only she can drive.
Sometimes I think about leaving the relationship, but she's the only person I have and I'm afraid she'll actually ctb if I go. I still really love her and just wish I could make it work, sometimes it feels like if our situations were different we could be together for a long time with no issues.
On the other hand I also feel extremely trapped with everything in general, I've become more of a recluse and the idea of going out or being in my car makes me so anxious. It makes me wish I never existed and makes me wish I could just have a plan to do anything. I peaked in high school and will never be anything more than a failure to everyone
