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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
Nothing's really wrong with it. I'm not obese. I'm not "ugly". I just hate it.

Just a bunch of bad interactions I guess.

How come I have to suffer for their wrong doings...... Or is it my fault for not saying anything??
 
Weather

Weather

Student
Oct 18, 2020
152
I hate my body too. I'm older and settled now, but... I remember so much wanting others to find me attractive, but then also hating them if they did. Wanting to be wanted, but not wanting to be touched. Wanting to be liked, but then loathing anyone who did.

Bodies bring nothing but grief. Do you remember that show Futurama? All the people who had just become heads in jars... I always thought that would be a nice way to live if one had to...

Anyway. I'm sorry you have to cope with this. Nothing anyone has done to you is your fault.
 
Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
I hate my body too. I'm older and settled now, but... I remember so much wanting others to find me attractive, but then also hating them if they did. Wanting to be wanted, but not wanting to be touched. Wanting to be liked, but then loathing anyone who did.

Bodies bring nothing but grief. Do you remember that show Futurama? All the people who had just become heads in jars... I always thought that would be a nice way to live if one had to...

Anyway. I'm sorry you have to cope with this. Nothing anyone has done to you is your fault.
Meatbags, bender had the right idea.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I also hate my body. I'm pretty overweight and have stretch marks everywhere (even on the lower part of my arm. How the fuck do you get stretch marks on the lower part of your arm!?) So I'm trying to lose it and have lost 14 lbs so far, but my case manager from my insurance company thinks I'm starting to develop an eating disorder from how I've been eating (sometimes only eating 300 calories a day to lose weight).
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
I also hate my body. I'm pretty overweight and have stretch marks everywhere (even on the lower part of my arm. How the fuck do you get stretch marks on the lower part of your arm!?) So I'm trying to lose it and have lost 14 lbs so far, but my case manager from my insurance company thinks I'm starting to develop an eating disorder from how I've been eating (sometimes only eating 300 calories a day to lose weight).
I'm proud of you for losing weight but you should probably find a healthier way to do it:hug:

Have you tried eating small meals throughout the day and eating slowly? I can't exactly remember the use of small meals, I think it's to keep you at a steady full. And it takes time for your stomach to tell you're brain you're full and people tend to over eat because of that but if you eat slower it gives your brain time to tell you. I hope this helps :hug::heart:
 
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kappa

kappa

Experienced
Apr 2, 2019
233
I feel like body dysmorphia and body mods are sometimes really connected.

I hate how I look but feel better about it when I can sort of change it. Just wish it didn't cost so much.
 
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sugar

sugar

Member
Nov 24, 2020
56
I don't have the most perfect body but I learned to accept the flaws. I work out and I'm happy with my body shape. I don't have body dysmorphia so I don't know what it's like but it sounds really distressing. I try to look at it from the perspective of health. My body is healthy so I should be happy with that. My mind on the hand...
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
I feel like body dysmorphia and body mods are sometimes really connected.

I hate how I look but feel better about it when I can sort of change it. Just wish it didn't cost so much.
Yeah i think I've got that too.... I'm not sure whenever I googled it it was about sex (gender) I have a problem with that too but not quite and this is different. But I do have that thing where your body looks different and weird. But I do just in general hate my body as well. Yeah I'm doing fiiiiiine lol
 
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kappa

kappa

Experienced
Apr 2, 2019
233
I don't have the most perfect body but I learned to accept the flaws. I work out and I'm happy with my body shape. I don't have body dysmorphia so I don't know what it's like but it sounds really distressing. I try to look at it from the perspective of health. My body is healthy so I should be happy with that. My mind on the hand...
Yeah i think I've got that too.... I'm not sure whenever I googled it it was about sex (gender) I have a problem with that too but not quite and this is different. But I do have that thing where your body looks different and weird. But I do just in general hate my body as well. Yeah I'm doing fiiiiiine lol

Yeah and everyone is different. For some it's very specific, and others it's everything. I've been late to jobs because I just didn't look right and couldn't leave before I fixed it.

I probably have just a few pictures of myself and would ask family or who I was dating to delete ones they took.

"But you always look like that!"

Fucking WHAT?
 
sugar

sugar

Member
Nov 24, 2020
56
Yeah and everyone is different. For some it's very specific, and others it's everything. I've been late to jobs because I just didn't look right and couldn't leave before I fixed it.

I probably have just a few pictures of myself and would ask family or who I was dating to delete ones they took.

"But you always look like that!"

Fucking WHAT?
Sometimes friends will take pictures with me and I'll think 'I don't actually look like that, it's just a bad angle...right?'
 
W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
I feel the same. I hate my body so much. I hate my weight fluctuations from underweight then to overweight it's caused lots of stretch marks. I hate all the ugly visible self harm scars like this huge burn on my arm. I hate my face now since past drug abuse changed my face and my ex hit me and messed up my nose and jaw .. I just hate me. I'm trapped in a meat suit in a brain prison.

I didn't used to hate my body but I do now.I can't even look at old pics of myself without getting upset.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I'm proud of you for losing weight but you should probably find a healthier way to do it:hug:

Have you tried eating small meals throughout the day and eating slowly? I can't exactly remember the use of small meals, I think it's to keep you at a steady full. And it takes time for your stomach to tell you're brain you're full and people tend to over eat because of that but if you eat slower it gives your brain time to tell you. I hope this helps :hug::heart:
Oddly I was able to lose 43 pounds a few years ago when I was in highschool without any problems, but now I'm terrified of gaining weight and I get upset with myself if I go over 900 calories :( I tried emailing a psychologist a few days ago at the recommendation of my case manager to see if they treat eating disorders, but I didn't get a reply so I might have to call the office which I really don't feel like doing :\
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
Oddly I was able to lose 43 pounds a few years ago when I was in highschool without any problems, but now I'm terrified of gaining weight and I get upset with myself if I go over 900 calories :( I tried emailing a psychologist a few days ago at the recommendation of my case manager to see if they treat eating disorders, but I didn't get a reply so I might have to call the office which I really don't feel like doing :\
a nutritionist might be able to help. probably not with the psychological part of an eating disorder but finding a meal plan that can help you in a healthy way, i think they can do that. at least i think ive read people with eating disorders also having one. i know me so i i just play my own
 
Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,626
Why do you hate your body if you don't find yourself ugly? :O
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
Why do you hate your body if you don't find yourself ugly? :O
basic, everything

details?
-self esteem issues
-body dysphoria, every time i look in the mirror someone different is looking back
-gender body dysphoria (i think it would be called) im not trans, being male would be more uncomfortable but being female doesnt register with me either....im not even so sure its that but im not 100% sure what it is
- a lot of bad sexual interactions

and i think that sums up everything, if youll read the last lne in the OP youll see where i made a reference to the last reason listed. its given me ptsd. and just about every other interaction in my past left me with cptsd. i cant help but remember stuff :(
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
a nutritionist might be able to help. probably not with the psychological part of an eating disorder but finding a meal plan that can help you in a healthy way, i think they can do that. at least i think ive read people with eating disorders also having one. i know me so i i just play my own
Well it looks like the psychologist I was looking at is only accepting testing clients and not doing therapy so I found 2 more, though they're about 51 minutes from me. Kind of a distance, but if I have to, I'll do it.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
Well it looks like the psychologist I was looking at is only accepting testing clients and not doing therapy so I found 2 more, though they're about 51 minutes from me. Kind of a distance, but if I have to, I'll do it.
i hope it helps :hug: :hug: :hug: :heart: :heart: :heart:
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
Thanks. Now the other story is convincing my mom to let me drive that distance. She already doesn't think I have one and said she doubts it :\
bring her with you the first time?
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
She'll probably just say she's too busy plus she doesn't like going out because of Corona
i cant disagree with the second reason but i can and will disagree with the first, you shouldnt say something isnt true if you arent willing to look at the proof
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
i cant disagree with the second reason but i can and will disagree with the first, you shouldnt say something isnt true if you arent willing to look at the proof
The reason I say she'll probably say she's busy is because she works a lot Monday - Saturday so she might not have any time to go with me. I've asked her to go with me to past doctors appointments and she said she was busy during those periods
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

🚫Safety is a figment of the imagination🚫
Jul 1, 2020
6,360
The reason I say she'll probably say she's busy is because she works a lot Monday - Saturday so she might not have any time to go with me. I've asked her to go with me to past doctors appointments and she started she was busy during those periods
She still shouldn't be denying you help. What about calling her when you get there? It should only take a moment and she doesn't have to go out
 

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