B
barkbark
…
- Jan 22, 2024
- 65
so i found out that there's a push for a sn ban in the US and i am very frustrated
while i do already have a means i CAN go with, i really wish i could go with SN because i want the ability to back out mid attempt if i have a change of heart instead of it being all or nothing. plus, i'm not sure if i'll always have access to that means since suicide prevention efforts continuously make more and more laws banning everything they can. it's making me feel like i'm being pushed into a corner so i either need to ctb now or risk never having it as an option…
it's pretty ironic that suicide prevention groups might be the thing that push me to kill myself, but that's just how it goes. ugh. i don't even want to die right now, i have things to do in life before i go! but i wouldn't risk never having the option to. it's insane to me how no one else understands that backing suicidal people-who usually already have very little to lose-into a corner can result in them hurting themselves, but i guess if you have that intensity of a savior complex you don't actually care about the people you victimize or "save" and it's all about your own ego.
i vented to a friend something like this and of course he'd never understand because he hasn't felt this depressed before, but idk. am i crazy? does anyone else feel like this?
while i do already have a means i CAN go with, i really wish i could go with SN because i want the ability to back out mid attempt if i have a change of heart instead of it being all or nothing. plus, i'm not sure if i'll always have access to that means since suicide prevention efforts continuously make more and more laws banning everything they can. it's making me feel like i'm being pushed into a corner so i either need to ctb now or risk never having it as an option…
it's pretty ironic that suicide prevention groups might be the thing that push me to kill myself, but that's just how it goes. ugh. i don't even want to die right now, i have things to do in life before i go! but i wouldn't risk never having the option to. it's insane to me how no one else understands that backing suicidal people-who usually already have very little to lose-into a corner can result in them hurting themselves, but i guess if you have that intensity of a savior complex you don't actually care about the people you victimize or "save" and it's all about your own ego.
i vented to a friend something like this and of course he'd never understand because he hasn't felt this depressed before, but idk. am i crazy? does anyone else feel like this?