i'm not sure what i'm venting about.
i purchased sn with the intention of kms right as soon as i received it. the tears and hugs were all there too. maybe i just wanted to feel something? because i didn't use it when i got it (about 1.5 years ago)
i still have it. and i still think about it daily. i'm back and no longer homesick from the trip from my last post.
the thing is, i don't just feel suicidal when it's late at night or when something goes wrong. i could be eating lunch with friends, or playing an instrument, or on a walk, and think about how i don't want to be here anymore. it's not even in the depressing way or anything
this has been going on for years, i don't know why im saying it now. maybe for the sake of my shitty memory, or on the chance someone else understands which i'm sure someone does
i find myself wanting to ask "should i kill myself?" but i know i shouldn't on the internet lol
i wonder if they still remember me. i wonder if they ever think of me. or if they remember anything about me. or even if i WANT them to. i wonder how this rest of the year is going to work out, as i have some stressful plans :*)
i purchased sn with the intention of kms right as soon as i received it. the tears and hugs were all there too. maybe i just wanted to feel something? because i didn't use it when i got it (about 1.5 years ago)
i still have it. and i still think about it daily. i'm back and no longer homesick from the trip from my last post.
the thing is, i don't just feel suicidal when it's late at night or when something goes wrong. i could be eating lunch with friends, or playing an instrument, or on a walk, and think about how i don't want to be here anymore. it's not even in the depressing way or anything
this has been going on for years, i don't know why im saying it now. maybe for the sake of my shitty memory, or on the chance someone else understands which i'm sure someone does
i find myself wanting to ask "should i kill myself?" but i know i shouldn't on the internet lol
i wonder if they still remember me. i wonder if they ever think of me. or if they remember anything about me. or even if i WANT them to. i wonder how this rest of the year is going to work out, as i have some stressful plans :*)
