Vent

[katattack]

I feel completely stuck. I have been depressed and battling an eating disorder for years. Twice I nearly commited suicide but in the end I didn't have the courage. I am completely exhausted from battling these disorders and from therapy. I want to quit therapy because nothing seems to be helping. However I don't know how to live, I cannot do it. But neither can I CBT. Because I am a coward and I currently just don't want it enough, I am too exhausted. I just feel so stuck. Can't live, can't die. Too exhausted to recover but life with my eating disorder is also exhausting and horrible. Just wanted to put this vent out here.

 

[tiger b]

Sorry to hear that. It sucks being low on energy, in some sort of purgatory. I empathise with that.

(Cool user name btw)

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

It's a hellish existence being stuck in the limbo of not wanting to live, yet finding it difficult to die.
I don't think you are a coward : ctb is undeniably difficult because of survival instinct.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

I know what it's like to be stuck in that state, living with issues like that is just pure torture and it's not your fault. And you're not a coward for not being able to CTB, you can want it more than anything in the world and still not be able to go through with it just because the human body is built to survive and resist no matter how much you're suffering. Your vent's been heard, I'm sorry for your pain.