this_is_it
Member
- Sep 19, 2023
- 43
why do i ever open my fucking mouth. why do i ever try to talk about how i feel. i should know by now it's just gonna lead to a fucking screaming match or me being yelled at, berated, hit, or thrown across the room. ive been waiting for so many fucking years for things to get just a little better. still. fucking. waiting. just going from one shit situation to the next. im so fucking done. i just want to tell him to pack his shit and get out. im tired of all of this. and yet he's still the best thing in my life and i can't leave him so my only option is to just give up on life altogether. im sick of the pain and suffering. my parents, my brother, my ex, my ex best friend. they were all supposed to love me and be there for me. but every single person i get attached to thinking they're the one that will finally help get me out of this funk, abuses me, manipulates me, convinces me im a POS, gets bored of me, ghosts me, hits me, I'm just so sick of being everyone's fucking punching bag but the only common factor here is me. I'm so fucking broken that the stress of being around me turns everyone into an abuser. he didn't used to be like this. i used to think we were perfect together. i used to think id always be happy as long as we had eachother. what's the fucking point anymore.
