Help Vent: relationship issues

[Negrathecat]

Last year I had made plans to ctb, kept a detailed diary of how, when and why…. Then I met someone. We started dating and it lasted about one year and four months…

Two months ago he broke up with me which I won't go into detail about but even though we aren't together we still communicate everyday and sometimes see each other.

A few days ago while we were in person he tells me he had slept with two different women while we were broken up and I was away in school. This was the one thing I had asked him not to do and he lied to me about it.

I'm deeply in pain and of course I'm considering ctb within the next year.

I guess I'm writing this post because even though he hurt me, I forgave him and have even decided to spend thanksgiving with him.

Is that a good choice? Am I stupid for still loving him and seeing him? I honestly don't know what to do.

I could use a friend.

 

[MeltedJello]

I'm sorry if this doesn't help, but only you can decide if that is a good choice for you or not. However, if I was in your situation, I think I would just limit the amount of time spent together now, since you guys are just friends now right? or I would just cut all connections with that guy if he has found someone else now. I'm sorry you're experiencing this pain, and suffering. I hope you come across more better & peaceful days :)

 

[Chinaski]

Last year I had made plans to ctb, kept a detailed diary of how, when and why…. Then I met someone. We started dating and it lasted about one year and four months…

Two months ago he broke up with me which I won't go into detail about but even though we aren't together we still communicate everyday and sometimes see each other.

A few days ago while we were in person he tells me he had slept with two different women while we were broken up and I was away in school. This was the one thing I had asked him not to do and he lied to me about it.

I'm deeply in pain and of course I'm considering ctb within the next year.

I guess I'm writing this post because even though he hurt me, I forgave him and have even decided to spend thanksgiving with him.

Is that a good choice? Am I stupid for still loving him and seeing him? I honestly don't know what to do.

I could use a friend.

The fact that you're asking if spending thanksgiving with him is stupid suggests you already know the answer imo, which is that you know it's unwise but you love him too much to ditch him completely. I get this, l suspect we've all been there with a bad relationship with someone who hasn't treated us well, but felt unable to cut ties. It's horrible and l sympathise, bit whatever advice is given here will be ignored anyway, because ultimately you love him, even if he's a bad 'un.

When a relationship with someone you love turns out to be false, there's no getting te original version back, it's gone for good, even if both of you put your all into it imo.

 

[Negrathecat]

The fact that you're asking if spending thanksgiving with him is stupid suggests you already know the answer imo, which is that you know it's unwise but you love him too much to ditch him completely. I get this, l suspect we've all been there with a bad relationship with someone who hasn't treated us well, but felt unable to cut ties. It's horrible and l sympathise, bit whatever advice is given here will be ignored anyway, because ultimately you love him, even if he's a bad 'un.

When a relationship with someone you love turns out to be false, there's no getting te original version back, it's gone for good, even if both of you put your all into it imo.

It is extremely difficult to let him go. He has told me there's a chance for us to get back together but no one can see the future. I appreciate your response

 

[...]

it is stupid but you probably can't help it. i'm the same. don't want to do anything else but speak to my ex-girlfriend. the bitch cast a wicked spell of love all over me and i can't ever shake it. she blocked me on everything except whatsapp which she occasionally reads. sometimes i will try and block her contact myself so there's no way of speaking but i always find a way to unblock it again and speak to her. i'm so pathetic. she's so great. i was always punching with her. i was a mess whilst she is this social butterfly with her shit together and liked by everyone. why the fuck she ever liked me in the first place idk but she made me believe she was different and would always stick with me

 

[stellabelle]

Last year I had made plans to ctb, kept a detailed diary of how, when and why…. Then I met someone. We started dating and it lasted about one year and four months…

Two months ago he broke up with me which I won't go into detail about but even though we aren't together we still communicate everyday and sometimes see each other.

A few days ago while we were in person he tells me he had slept with two different women while we were broken up and I was away in school. This was the one thing I had asked him not to do and he lied to me about it.

I'm deeply in pain and of course I'm considering ctb within the next year.

I guess I'm writing this post because even though he hurt me, I forgave him and have even decided to spend thanksgiving with him.

Is that a good choice? Am I stupid for still loving him and seeing him? I honestly don't know what to do.

I could use a friend.

You're not stupid.

People aren't possessions
People "enjoy" physical sensations.

They fuck whoever they want as many times as they want and play around.

Sorry this happened to you.

Move on, which also sounds shallow but
It doesn't matter at this point
People will always be people

I've intentionally had sex with people outside of an unwanted relationship to demonstrate how much I hated the bastard and how much I didn't want to be with him or have sex with him. He just kept being a fuckin moron and wouldn't take no for an answer or allow me to be a roommate or he'd continue being a pervert and accusing me of flirting or having relations with people I didn't even like in the first place.

 

[MammothJack]

Last year I had made plans to ctb, kept a detailed diary of how, when and why…. Then I met someone. We started dating and it lasted about one year and four months…

Two months ago he broke up with me which I won't go into detail about but even though we aren't together we still communicate everyday and sometimes see each other.

A few days ago while we were in person he tells me he had slept with two different women while we were broken up and I was away in school. This was the one thing I had asked him not to do and he lied to me about it.

I'm deeply in pain and of course I'm considering ctb within the next year.

I guess I'm writing this post because even though he hurt me, I forgave him and have even decided to spend thanksgiving with him.

Is that a good choice? Am I stupid for still loving him and seeing him? I honestly don't know what to do.

I could use a friend.

Hi!

From my experience, it's best to cut former partners off at least for a few months after the breakup. No contact, no social media exposure, et cetera. Doing otherwise leads to the types of situations you're discussing now. This is the exact advice I would give my closest friends.

I understand how hard that is. You had a deep connection with this person and you can practically see the void that will exist were you to cut him off. I would have for you that the void already exists though. And you can come back to just being friends after a few months of withdrawal.

If, however, he's lying to you or agreeing to do things with no intention of following through, he doesn't sound like a very good friend.

Warmest Regards!