dannyilyy
The Jack Twist
- Jul 10, 2026
- 10
I have not spoken to anybody for at max 2-3 days by now.
I told everyone how upset I was, and how I was definitely not going to survive the issues I was going through. I'm not sure if people miss me. Some do text, but what hurts worse is my sweet boy, he hasn't texted me since the day after he saw my last messages. He tried to call me two times, but I let it ring and haven't texted him. I'm too afraid, so I really want to try to show him I wasn't doing it just for his attention, but because his actions and words truly scarred me. (I haven't attempted anything yet due to wanting to plan everything beforehand. I want everyone to know why.) Originally, I was just trying to get into the ER to see if anyone cared, but I don't think anybody does. I also doubt that my death would have any long lasting effects on anyone besides my immediate family and my one friend of 10 years.
As for my plans, I've just been collecting pills, writing my final letters and trying to find some sort of backup, but everything I see and look up is a little complicated to me. And im afraid I'll chicken out or fail and become mangled or some sort of damaged that'll only ruin my life worse. I have some personal prescriptions and been looking up other websites about certain meds for the past couple of days now. What really makes me want to speed all of this up though, is thinking of my sweet boy. how my heart breaks every-time I wake or simply glance at my phone and see he's not dropped any text or call. He probably thinks I'm crazy and too much, and that's fine. It's normal, I've always been too much. I hope when I die, it's his warm face I get to see. I want to stare at him for all of eternity, And hear every syllable. I want to be surrounded by the love I gave. I'm so pathetic. I can't wait to die.
I told everyone how upset I was, and how I was definitely not going to survive the issues I was going through. I'm not sure if people miss me. Some do text, but what hurts worse is my sweet boy, he hasn't texted me since the day after he saw my last messages. He tried to call me two times, but I let it ring and haven't texted him. I'm too afraid, so I really want to try to show him I wasn't doing it just for his attention, but because his actions and words truly scarred me. (I haven't attempted anything yet due to wanting to plan everything beforehand. I want everyone to know why.) Originally, I was just trying to get into the ER to see if anyone cared, but I don't think anybody does. I also doubt that my death would have any long lasting effects on anyone besides my immediate family and my one friend of 10 years.
As for my plans, I've just been collecting pills, writing my final letters and trying to find some sort of backup, but everything I see and look up is a little complicated to me. And im afraid I'll chicken out or fail and become mangled or some sort of damaged that'll only ruin my life worse. I have some personal prescriptions and been looking up other websites about certain meds for the past couple of days now. What really makes me want to speed all of this up though, is thinking of my sweet boy. how my heart breaks every-time I wake or simply glance at my phone and see he's not dropped any text or call. He probably thinks I'm crazy and too much, and that's fine. It's normal, I've always been too much. I hope when I die, it's his warm face I get to see. I want to stare at him for all of eternity, And hear every syllable. I want to be surrounded by the love I gave. I'm so pathetic. I can't wait to die.
