Venting Vent ¦ It's coming back

[Qua]

Why is it all coming back? Like I was literally fine for a longer period of time. I thought I was getting better and even got confused by it as feeling actually, truly "good" was new to me but now it's all gone? Now my emotions shut down during the day, my brain cuts them off like I cannot even enjoy getting my nails done today and I've been waiting for that for so long now. Nothing makes me happy again, I don't feel motivated, I don't care about anything around me and don't await anything. Again, I'm visiting this site at night to vent my thoughts or read other people's threads because I feel like shit and my own mind is killing me. Why is it happening again? I was fine, I was so fine, what's wrong with me? Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to be so fucked up

 

[TapeMachine]

I'm right there with you. I'm sorry you've had to go through a similar up&down nightmare in your brain.

I'll feel so good some days that I can't remember why I ever felt suicidal in the first place. Heh.

Then the inevitable drop of my mood floods me with this all-consuming misery, and then I can't imagine ever feeling ok/good again.

It's freakin exhausting; and one day (who knows when?), I'll have had as much of it as I can take...and that will be that.

 

[Enlighten]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I struggle with motivating myself aswell, so i really empathize with you. I like doing very, very intense excercise to motivate myself.
Nothing quite makes you feel alive as almost dying from fatigue. Might not be for everyone, but take it into consideration.

 

[sad_rock]

Emotions are fleeting. The transient nature of happiness is what makes it beautiful. Yet, it is painful once it departs. Its inevitable ephermerality leaves one grieving for its presence that once comforted the person
I also deal with extreme fleeting emotions due to PTSD/bipolar- the constant fluctuations are depressing. When moments like these come, I appreciate the chance that I was able to experience genuine happiness before going downhill again. Doing that lessen the blow from depressive periods. The most I can do is acknowledge the sadness/emptiness. I am sorry that you are going through this period as it lasts a lengthy time.