Qua
there's no turning back now
- Apr 30, 2023
- 76
You know how you always promise or used to promise yourself to do better in the upcoming school year? Yeah I promised myself that again, but this time I have no choice as I'm in the last class before the maturity exam (or whatever it's called, sorry for my English). I'm actually trying, trying so hard and spending a lot of time studying but it always seems like not enough. I hate seeing that one friend being good at literally everything and always being better than me, no matter how hard I try. English is literally the only thing that I'm genuinely good at AND OF COURSE I had to fuck up a test or two getting a lower grade than her (I still did fine ig, I got B/4, whatever you use) and it feels like I can't do shit right honestly. She's good at everything and she's getting praised by teachers, why can't I be like that? Why am I a fucking failure that has no idea what I wanna do in my life? I basically have to stay alive and it makes it all so much worse knowing that I will just have to endure everything with no way out. Why can't I be enough? Why when I actually put my mind to something I can't do it well enough? Why is it always not enough? I'm trying so hard, I swear I am