Venting Vent drawings #1 because this is all I can really focus on anymore

[Cauliflour]

I drew these all instead of studying because this is what my pathetic life has come to. Don't know why I made the second one so detailed.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

These are really great!!! Thanks for sharing. You have a talent.

 

[Cauliflour]

I wasn't planning on spending my evening on this, but I did a bit of a ramble and so was in another forum post while drawing this.

 

[80d1mebag$$$]

these are awesome im glad u shared them :D

 

[unnaturalmovement]

View attachment 162995
I wasn't planning on spending my evening on this, but I did a bit of a ramble and so was in another forum post while drawing this.

:(

 

[Cauliflour]

This one's less of an artwork and more of a doodle but this is the first (kinda) drawing I've done of the woman who lives in my head! Well, used to live in my head, she's either gone or dead I don't really know I hope it's the former. Didn't really know anything about her until she went and then bits and pieces slowly kept coming back to me like it was trying to re-form a jigsaw puzzle and now I know enough information to draw a proper drawing of her. Wasn't sure on the fringe but I'm certain on everything else. I also didn't envision her with a mouth and I'm not sure why as she probably has one.

I may seem like I'm throwing random words at the wall like I'm a cringy 14 year old making an OC, but I swear she's real in the mental sense. Her name is Helena (she has no last name because she isn't physically real) and she's 6 foot and south asian and I think 35. 30 something. I've never envisioned her looking happy because she never does because she had to be stuck with me and my bullshit. She doesn't really have a voice because she uses mine but I guess if she came back she would sound like when I try to sound posh.

No this isn't a split personality thing. No this isn't schizophrenia (I wish it was, I wanna see her in person). It's like how cars have the driver seat and a passenger seat to the right/left of them and sometimes she stretches over and takes the wheel for a brief moment but I'm fully aware she's there. Idk what you call that but I swear I'm not crazy. It's kinda nice having an idea on what's going on though as when I was younger I wasn't really sure what it was exactly.

anyway ramble over.

Here's a drawing from February where all I could envision of her was a silhouette. This was about 2 weeks after she left and before then I couldn't envision her at all. Pretty neat, huh?

 

[Cauliflour]

Not sure what the symbolism is supposed to be here but I'm sure it has symbolism. It's late.

 

[Cauliflour]

I wanted to sleep but I couldn't and I sure as hell can't sleep after drawing these but I don't deserve good health anyway so I suppose it's all good.

 

[Cauliflour]

I'm so proud of the background on this one. I figured out how to do the mesh transform so I made these checkerboards all wibbly wobbly.

There's 4 different kinds of self harm here because I have different kinds for different purposes. Although this is what I consider my "dream body" as my actual body is really lacking in the scar department. Yeah...really wanna go out in style, y'know?

Forgot to draw anime me's agohe and it's annoying me.

 

[Cauliflour]