Validating my pain

[Lenmenhen]

I feel like I'm lying about being depressed.I don't think I fit the picture. I cut myself in order to feel that Yes I'm not fine, but I think I am. I can continue with daily life and I can enjoy things; but only temporarily. Most of the time I can't even feel anything, the only thought in my head is "oh well". And then there are those manic episodes than last less than 10 minutes. And the panic attacks and the loneliness at night. Honestly I'm ranting here: I don't know what to make of myself. What is wrong with me?Do I even have a psychiatric condition?There was nothing that happened to me to trigger this change- no loss ones, trauma, or stressful event- my life is a decent one.I don't know what to make of all this.

 

[Ki_Nam]

You should seek professional help if that's what you want, and you want to find out what's wrong with you. You don't have to validate your pain. Some things can't be described through words, and some things only yourself can understand.

 

[Lenmenhen]

The thing is I don't want professional help,i just really want to know what is wrong with me,I feel like my pain isn't enough for someone to care about.

 

[AngryDog]

Hi there. It is difficult to say for sure what is bothering you with so little information. Also, don't say that your pain "isn't enough". Cutting yourself is something serious. I strongly suggest you to see a psychiatrist. You may have a psychiatric condition like bipolar disorder or something else. This pain you are feeling can also be caused by a hormonal inbalance, which is treatable. If you wanna know what's wrong with you but you don't want to see a psychiatrist, therapy can also be a good place to start.
Whatever the case, you don't have to suffer alone. You might feel that your pain is meaningless, but it's not.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer, it must be tiring feeling trapped in that situation and your feelings are valid. But anyway I wish you the best.