Valentines day is just reminder of how men throughout my life rejected me

[FireFox]

Happy Valentines day everyone on Sanactioned Suicide

I am 24 years old and I am spending another valentines day single again :( All around the world couples are giving each other chocolates, expressing love and affection for each other whereas I am stuck at home with no man. I never thought I would be single at this age everyone has their first boyfriend/love as a teenager whereas i never had a relationship.

At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never got asked out on a date or had a guy really like her for who she is. The guys at school who did take an interest in me did it at as a dare or something to laugh at with their friends, i received public humiliation from the boys at school especially those i liked. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. I am still the invisible woman in adulthood. I wish I looked like a supermodel because guys will actually notice me and will be interested in me. Most men wants a supermodel that's truth. It not enough that I am a nice person or some who enjoys stimulating discussions current affairs, philosophy and culture. It never will be. Being a black woman growing you realise you will be always be undesirable by men society and subject to mocking of all aspects of your appearance by all men in all races. I wish I had a blonde hair and blue eyes as it seen as pretty by society.

All my life I have been rejected by men. First my father abandoned me before I was even born, secondary school the boys just rejected me or treated me badly or liked for a dare( being the unpopular/outsider girl) as I grow older I realise maybe I am the problem, the sickness which is am so unlovable/undesirable by men.
All I ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated by a man. Its never going to happen anymore. Being single gets harder with age and once I hit 30 I am killing myself. As my life is officially over as women in terms of relationships as at 30 everyone is married and taken.

 

[Messgram]

iam a bit desparate to find a gf, but on the other hand, dating seems to be overrated because ppl relationships seems so fake and shallow, like they are with each other only for material/carnal interests.

 

[karel1987]

Dating women is the same. They also want supermodels. Welcom in the world where anything is possible

 

[miserable_existance]

Happy Valentines day everyone on Sanactioned Suicide

I am 24 years old and I am spending another valentines day single again :( All around the world couples are giving each other chocolates, expressing love and affection for each other whereas I am stuck at home with no man. I never thought I would be single at this age everyone has their first boyfriend/love as a teenager whereas i never had a relationship.

At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never got asked out on a date or had a guy really like her for who she is. The guys at school who did take an interest in me did it at as a dare or something to laugh at with their friends, i received public humiliation from the boys at school especially those i liked. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. I am still the invisible woman in adulthood. I wish I looked like a supermodel because guys will actually notice me and will be interested in me. Most men wants aryth supermodel that's truth. It not enough that I am a nice person or some who enjoys stimulating discussions current affairs, philosophy and culture. It never will be. Being a black woman growing you realise you will be always be undesirable by men society and subject to mocking of all aspects of your appearance by all men in all races. I wish I had a blonde hair and blue eyes as it seen as pretty by society.

All my life I have been rejected by men. First my father abandoned me before I was even born, secondary school the boys just rejected me or treated me badly or liked for a dare( being the unpopular/outsider girl) as I grow older I realise maybe I am the problem, the sickness which is am so unlovable/undesirable by men.
All I ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated by a man. Its never going to happen anymore. Being single gets harder with age and once I hit 30 I am killing myself. As my life is officially over as women in terms of relationships as at 30 everyone is married and taken.

all my life women teased me . but love / relationship is not a priority for me anymore . i want to end this misery . if you are succesfful and has money everything will follow you , thats the philosophy of life i understand . i have nothing and i am 30 . in next life may be

 

[FuneralCry]

Honestly, it sounds like other people are the problem not you. Some people can be so cruel. I do know that rejection can be devastating and I'm sorry you are going through this. It is perfectly understandable wanting to be loved. Life is so unfair and depressing. I wish you the best.

 

[Somber]

Is it Valentine's day? The one holiday everyone has to to go to work at.
I have no clue what people are supposed to do today (or find the time to do it in).

It seems a large portion of people on these forums seem to forget that most men & women aren't supermodels. And while (mostly) men might want to fuck a supermodel, most choose to marry the girl next door that is less high maintenance.

 

[edu0z]

Happy Valentines day everyone on Sanactioned Suicide

I am 24 years old and I am spending another valentines day single again :( All around the world couples are giving each other chocolates, expressing love and affection for each other whereas I am stuck at home with no man. I never thought I would be single at this age everyone has their first boyfriend/love as a teenager whereas i never had a relationship.

At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never got asked out on a date or had a guy really like her for who she is. The guys at school who did take an interest in me did it at as a dare or something to laugh at with their friends, i received public humiliation from the boys at school especially those i liked. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. I am still the invisible woman in adulthood. I wish I looked like a supermodel because guys will actually notice me and will be interested in me. Most men wants a supermodel that's truth. It not enough that I am a nice person or some who enjoys stimulating discussions current affairs, philosophy and culture. It never will be. Being a black woman growing you realise you will be always be undesirable by men society and subject to mocking of all aspects of your appearance by all men in all races. I wish I had a blonde hair and blue eyes as it seen as pretty by society.

All my life I have been rejected by men. First my father abandoned me before I was even born, secondary school the boys just rejected me or treated me badly or liked for a dare( being the unpopular/outsider girl) as I grow older I realise maybe I am the problem, the sickness which is am so unlovable/undesirable by men.
All I ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated by a man. Its never going to happen anymore. Being single gets harder with age and once I hit 30 I am killing myself. As my life is officially over as women in terms of relationships as at 30 everyone is married and taken.

Hi Foxy. I don't know you. But reading what you write I don't think you're a bad person, you don't deserve all that pain you're feeling... since childhood, when you excelled in school, you only wanted what everyone wants: to feel loved... People can suck when they're in a group... I'm sorry you are going through that, for me it is also hell on Valentine's Day haha... "happy 2/14"

 

[Journeytoletgo]

iam a bit desparate to find a gf, but on the other hand, dating seems to be overrated because ppl relationships seems so fake and shallow, like they are with each other only for material/carnal interests.

I agree it's boring and a waste of time. Except I had horrible experiences because of my looks

 

[Istanbulite]

Sorry to hear that. In my country, no girl can be bf-less if she doesn't herself want it to be so. Men are dying for girls here. Madness haha.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Is it Valentine's day? The one holiday everyone has to to go to work at.
I have no clue what people are supposed to do today (or find the time to do it in).

It seems a large portion of people on these forums seem to forget that most men & women aren't supermodels. And while (mostly) men might want to fuck a supermodel, most choose to marry the girl next door that is less high maintenance.

Men and women are marrying less and less and probably before long married will be in the minority

Marriage rates are plunging because most people are subconsciously wise they are living in a civilization with no future

 

[Disappointered]

Dating women is the same. They also want supermodels. Welcom in the world where anything is possible

The wonderful world of "progress" where "everything is permitted but nothing is possible".
Even some good-looking people are cursed and end up lonely their whole lives. No one knows exactly why. This world is horrible for most humans. More-so for some than others.

 

[FireFox]

Dating women is the same. They also want supermodels. Welcom in the world where anything is possible

@karel1987 we live in such a shallow society which values physical beauty of one's appearance rather the kindness of a person's heart.

No generation is perfect but I honestly our generation is the most shallow. Every generation has shallow and vain people but at least previous generations did speak out agaisnt this culture. A least You had feminists and the church speaking out and trying to be the voice of reason but today we live in a society which encourages people to be shallow and vain.
- look at the kardashian culture along with the influncer culture that promotes unrealistic beauty standards.
In 2022 despite advances in technology, medicine and civilisation we are still obessed with peoples physical beauty and values people on their beauty instead of the heart of the person.
It is so disgusting and sad at the same time.

Sorry to hear that. In my country, no girl can be bf-less if she doesn't herself want it to be so. Men are dying for girls here. Madness haha.

@Moomin17 which county is that ?

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

The wonderful world of "progress" where "everything is permitted but nothing is possible".
Even some good-looking people are cursed and end up lonely their whole lives. No one knows exactly why. This world is horrible for most humans. More-so for some than others.

The recent miss USA suicide case is a perfect example of this

 

[FireFox]

Is it Valentine's day? The one holiday everyone has to to go to work at.
I have no clue what people are supposed to do today (or find the time to do it in).

It seems a large portion of people on these forums seem to forget that most men & women aren't supermodels. And while (mostly) men might want to fuck a supermodel, most choose to marry the girl next door that is less high maintenance.

@Somber
Well on valentines day couples find a way to send a card or flowers or organise something depending on their living arrangements.

My mums partner sent her flowers and chocolates to the house as he was working all day today.
The flowers are big set of red roses and chocolates are a small box.
Mum is very happy

 

[Crazy4u]

Happy Valentine day to you ❤❤❤

I don't have a comment on what you wrote! I wanted you to know that I read your entire post and I think you are a great person. Some boys (not men) can be stupid and immature.

I have never gone on a date and never will! it is my choice for many emotional and mental reasons.

I hope you find the love of your life and post about it next year

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Beauty was always important. I don't think humans ever cared about someone's personality until they seen your face first. This world is visual and always has been

 

[LastFlowers]

I wish I had a blonde hair and blue eyes as it seen as pretty by society.

I could see why you might focus on this but although beauty is largely objective (contrary to popular belief and platitudes), eye color and hair color are simply not very significant when it comes to being valued for your appearance, it has much more to do with your bone structure, proportions, symmetry, etc.
Even regarding hair and eyes alone, there would be attributes of each far more important than their coloring (hair density/volume, hairline, sheen..eye shape, eye size, eye support via the surrounding orbital area, lash fullness, contrast, etc).
There have been countless studies about this and I'm sure most could attest to anecdotal experience as well.
Plenty of men and women who are brown eyed brunettes are seen as inhumanly gorgeous and put on a pedestal because of it.
This goes for any race as well, there is a universal beauty standard which has stood the test of time, is somewhat inherent in that we make instant visual judgements based on this standard, and is currently being upheld by the constructs of society to add insult to injury.

Trends come as they may (and racism and colorism are nothing to scoff at), but in the sphere of being seen as good-looking or even super-model material, they're nothing in the face of the classic assessment we have always made and continue to make when determining whether someone is considered physically attractive to the majority of the population.
If someone is genuinely physically unattractive, dyeing their hair and putting in colored contacts is not going to change that.
Plenty of blue-eyed blondes are considered to be grotesque and devalued because they don't meet the overarching standard of legitimate physical beauty.

Not that I agree with the way the world works revolving around this unfortunate truth, I'm simply stating the facts of the matter.
I doubt any of this will be much of a comfort or consolation, if anything, it's just more damning and depressing, but I just wanted to assure you on this note in particular.
(Although it's possible your locale has something to do with your experience too, which might interfere-to a degree-with what is usually typical, so keep that in mind.)

as I grow older I realise maybe I am the problem

No, you're not the problem, who you are is not the problem, you sound like an interesting person that anyone should be grateful to get to know.
Though I'm sure your situation has been fraught with tension and strife which no doubt would be damaging to any human being.
You do not deserve to be overlooked, to be ostracized, to be thought of as "less".
You deserve the same freedoms and opportunities to be seen, heard and appreciated as anyone else.
Your potential should not have to be squandered simply because other people don't even want to give you the time of day, they are the despicable ones.

The real issue is what I mentioned above and society's (aka an individual's) unwillingness to subvert and overcome these shallow tendencies-to find value in the person rather than to deny said person even the possibility of seeing or appreciating their internal value, simply because their outward appearance doesn't satisfy the onlooker's gaze.
It is not your fault.
But I know that living this way is defeating regardless of how things SHOULD be, you can only endure so much before you snap.
And it's true that 30 is a milestone that is not kind to those who suffer a fate such as your own, for that (and all else) I am so sorry.

 

[FireFox]

The recent miss USA suicide case is a perfect example of this

@SuicidallyCurious I read about her death. Her family mentioned she suffered from severe depression. Most people fail to grasp that depression is an illness which brings great torment to the mind. It's so scary how our own bodies can turn agaisnt us.

She was 30 when she died that's the age I plan to die too. In 6 years time I will be dead and no longer alive this world.

Had things been different in a different timeline I know I would be alive in my 30s.
I really wanted to live and do wonderful cool things with my life but just didn't know how.
Maybe it wasn't to be
This world is not for people like me
- I struggle to fit in. Society is all about conformity. I don't where I belong. I am just an outsider and always will be
- I am not strong. In this world you have to be.
Sucide is the best option for people like me. Nothing can convince me otherwise. I wish I died from covid19 instead of the good people.

 

[Crazy4u]

I would like to kindly request members not to make a competition about who has it worse. Women here rarely post about their struggles with love and men and many women stopped posting much. It was refreshing for me to see a woman posting about this. Kindly don't quote this comment so we can stay on original topic. Thank you ❤❤❤

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

@SuicidallyCurious I read about her death. Her family mentioned she suffered from severe depression. Most people fail to grasp that depression is an illness which brings great torment to the mind. It's so scary how our own bodies can turn agaisnt us.

She was 30 when she died that's the age I plan to die too. In 6 years time I will be dead and no longer alive this world.

Had things been different in a different timeline I know I would be alive in my 30s.
I really wanted to live and do wonderful cool things with my life but just didn't know how.
Maybe it wasn't to be
This world is not for people like me
- I struggle to fit in. Society is all about conformity. I don't where I belong. I am just an outsider and always will be
- I am not strong. In this world you have to be.
Sucide is the best option for people like me. Nothing can convince me otherwise. I wish I died from covid19 instead of the good people.

Depression can happen to anyone too. It happens to people who look normal or what muricans would call "high achievers"

I knew one high achiever 250k+ job attractive body and still depressed for life

 

[yo_no_soy_el_pollo2]

I'm too depressed at the moment to even try and find a relationship.

 

[FireFox]

Depression can happen to anyone too. It happens to people who look normal or what muricans would call "high achievers"

I knew one high achiever 250k+ job attractive body and still depressed for life

This use why it is called mental illness for a reason. There is a difference between being low and depressed and suffering an actual mental illness. Most people can not tell the difference between feeling sad, blue to experiencing crippling illness of a depressive disorder.

This problem is why depression is so misunderstood.

I'm too depressed at the moment to even try and find a relationship.

@yo_no_soy_el_pollo2 virtual hug

I would like to kindly request members not to make a competition about who has it worse. Women here rarely post about their struggles with love and men and many women stopped posting much. It was refreshing for me to see a woman posting about this. Kindly don't quote this comment so we can stay on original topic. Thank you ❤❤❤

@Small_Dreams Thank you so much for reading. In the real world I don't open up at all. In lockdown whenever I opened up to people I needed for support they just let me down so nowadays I pretend I am happy. This is how I ended up here on SS.

I realised depressed and suicidal people we are nothing but inconveniences to people and society. I know I am in the final years of my life. Lockdown really showed me i don't deserve to be alive and healthy. How is it fair someone like me who hasn't done anything meaningful, huge or something amazing with their lives still is alive and healthy in this world. A lot of people who died from covid19 were just good people reading all the obituaries, news coverage etc.

 

[Niko66]

I've never had a first kiss either and never will, about to be 25. I was too clueless early in life and now I am too far gone for relationships.

 

[whatevs]

In my case I never met a woman I was compatible psychologically with, so this kind of loneliness hurts but not unbearably so, since I don't have libido anymore either. Without lust or meeting someone you actually respect and like rejecting you this type of suffering simply makes no sense.

I think this is one of the things I did well in the game of life, I didn't give a fuck about sex and relationships once I saw that they weren't for me.

 

[Darkover]

still its been 17 years with no sex for me yeah no one wants a ugly girl or man

 

[Istanbulite]

which county is that ?

Turkey

 

[Superdeterminist]

Appearance seems to reign supreme. It's suspicious to me that the universe seems to generate attractive people at a low rate, consigning the majority to be unremarkable or ugly. Another evil committed by god or whoever/whatever is running this whole show. Now we can say that beauty is subjective, but we seem to converge strongly on which people look pretty and which don't.

 

[Mixo]

Being a black woman growing you realise you will be always be undesirable by men society and subject to mocking of all aspects of your appearance by all men in all races. I wish I had a blonde hair and blue eyes as it seen as pretty by society.

Happy belated Valentine's Day, Firefox.

As a woman of color, I want to be able to tell you not to internalize society's negative messages about your racial identity, but I myself also struggle very much with internalized racism too, and have no answers on how to release that horrible feeling of your body/looks/intellect/whatever is therefore less valuable (I say this rhetorically because it obviously isn't true). I still don't have the answer for that. Could it be your immediate environment making this worse? Perhaps a change of scenery or visiting a more diverse area outside of where you live could be one avenue of meeting people who you'd be more compatible with. At least then you'd know that there is some place better out there that you would feel more appreciated when socializing.

 

[forgotten15]

I think women of colour are absolutely stunning.
I am sorry you are going through this pain, I know lack of love and attention can put a person in a very deep suffering as all human beings are designed to receive and give affection. But you are still young at 24 and even though at the moment you don't have a very optimistic view regarding your future I think you shouldn't be so radical.
There is time for things to change in your life and you still have time to meet people, if you didn't until now it doesn't mean your situation will stay like this forever. Plus, at 30 years old you can't say that your chances to find love are gone. There's no age for love, you can find it at 20 and also at 50. I understand there is also past trauma that puts you in this state. I do hope you will find a wonderful person who deserves your love!

 

[Ethereal Knight]

I think this is one of the things I did well in the game of life, I didn't give a fuck about sex and relationships once I saw that they weren't for me.

this is what I plan to do and what I have been doing since I found out I was meant to be chronically alone and that aloneness may be my natural state.

I think we should consider the fact that there are a lot of people are in relationships, yet still feel miserable and unhappy.
so are relationships really the answer?
I don't know. really.

I feel the lack of touch, affection, intimacy, high-quality sex and orgasms affects me deeply, but at the same time I wanna question myself, so I don't start to be irrational and make bad decisions that will lead to disappointment, traumatic break-ups etc...

honestly I think our society uses the word "love" wrong.
if a person can only "love" another person if this person has a lot of money, social status, or beautiful bodies, then do they really "love"? is this "love"? like someone said, it appears to be more like financial and material interest or pure carnal desires...