Useless vent.

[AnxiousLlama]

Up to 10th grade, I was effortlessly in the top 5% overall in school, but also I was a lonely nerd and getting bullied throughout elementary school. When I turned 17, I developed severe social anxiety, depression and misophonia. Now my memory, concentration, ability to study, IQ has all gone down. I am a subhuman. My anxiety is just getting worse, I can't look at my father directly who was always very strict and insulting me for years and I start shaking when sat next to him. Even typing "father" out makes me worried. I can't talk easily to others outside, and I have zero self-esteem. Anxiety is unreal. Living in prison or the psych ward for a while with no contact to the outside world feels like a dream. Yet I also have a desire to punish every normie for my situation, for stealing my happiness but I am not sure about it. Occasionally they are nice to me, like the one woman I talked to yesterday.

 

[Life_and_Death]

vents are never useless. express your emotions, its healthy

 

[derpyderpins]

Absolutely nothing about that vent was useless. It's all reasonable and relatable. Hopefully it helped you put your chaotic thoughts into words, and I know it helped me because I relate to having anxiety heavily associated with one parent.

Punishing normies, anger, etc. never really works out how you want. It's kinda like in Mario Kart (you said you're a nerd so I'm taking a stab that you've at least played Mario Kart before) - if you have a red shell and are in the upper half of the group, a lot of people are too aggressive and will throw it early rather than saving it for protection. If you throw it, you're only hitting at best 1 person and moving ahead of them, but if you're hit by something the shell could have protected you from, suddenly all 11 other racers gain on you. Basically, there will always be more normies, so it's better to make yourself stronger than try to knock them down.

 

[illuposolitarioita]

Penso che l'ansia sociale sia momentanea, devi solo trovare persone che hanno qualcosa in comune con te, Sono stato vittima di bullismo a scuola ma per soli 2 anni sono diventato magicamente il più popolare, per i genitori non puoi farci molto, Crescendo avrai la tua indipendenza e non ti importerà molto

 

[AnxiousLlama]

vents are never useless. express your emotions, its healthy

Thank you :)

Absolutely nothing about that vent was useless. It's all reasonable and relatable. Hopefully it helped you put your chaotic thoughts into words, and I know it helped me because I relate to having anxiety heavily associated with one parent.

Thanks :). It does feel good typing it out and posting it. It sucks when it's your own parent doing it to you.

Penso che l'ansia sociale sia momentanea, devi solo trovare persone che hanno qualcosa in comune con te, Sono stato vittima di bullismo a scuola ma per soli 2 anni sono diventato magicamente il più popolare, per i genitori non puoi farci molto, Crescendo avrai la tua indipendenza e non ti importerà molto

I really hope it is temporary. it gives me hope for the future.