Venting Ups and downs

[divinemistress36]

I hate when people say life is full of ups and downs. Some of us dont even experience ups..

 

[Vicolo cieco]

They are unable to see beyond their own experience of life.

 

[AnonymousL]

I hate when people say life is full of ups and downs. Some of us dont even experience ups..

See the thing is. I rather be down all the time. It's comforting. I'm doing a bit better lately and the higher I get .. the worse the fall will be when (because yes it will for sure happen) I break down again.

I was at the perfect mental but I wasn't home for a few days so I couldn't do it. I haven't been close enough anymore to go through with it. I hate it.

 

[divinemistress36]

See the thing is. I rather be down all the time. It's comforting. I'm doing a bit better lately and the higher I get .. the worse the fall will be when (because yes it will for sure happen) I break down again.

I was at the perfect mental but I wasn't home for a few days so I couldn't do it. I haven't been close enough anymore to go through with it. I hate it.

You make a good point

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I think the "ups" to those people are holidays, materialistic things, etc. it's quite telling if you ask them further what was making you "happy" and they'll probably mention a holiday.

I've commented before that I don't believe in this whole happy thing. It's depression and/or content. Going to the animal sanctuary clears my head and I feel a bit content but I know I can't stay there forever so have to leave when it closes and leave the animals even though I seem to be one of the only people they get human interaction with (apart from the people that work there). Or sitting with your dog.

See the attached graph


If you have fucked up genetics then the majority of time you will average at -1 or lower. A big life event might put you at +1 but overall that's killer. The majority of people (through either delusion, ignorance or low IQ) will float around 0 or +1.

Anyways I have to stay here for my dog for the time being. My mum said she hasn't seen me smile in 16 months. No shit. No money (business dead), can't escape, partner left, etc. My dog is the only thing that hasn't abandoned me. Hell even the tiny fucking sparrows in the garden - 1 of them will perch in the tree very close to me - he/she clearly knows I'm the one putting out the food (most birds recognise humans through faces).

Fuck this shit world. Fuck people. Let the real animals take over (not shitty humans).

 

[divinemistress36]

I think the "ups" to those people are holidays, materialistic things, etc. it's quite telling if you ask them further what was making you "happy" and they'll probably mention a holiday.

I've commented before that I don't believe in this whole happy thing. It's depression and/or content. Going to the animal sanctuary clears my head and I feel a bit content but I know I can't stay there forever so have to leave when it closes and leave the animals even though I seem to be one of the only people they get human interaction with (apart from the people that work there). Or sitting with your dog.

See the attached graph
View attachment 140834

If you have fucked up genetics then the majority of time you will average at -1 or lower. A big life event might put you at +1 but overall that's killer. The majority of people (through either delusion, ignorance or low IQ) will float around 0 or +1.

Anyways I have to stay here for my dog for the time being. My mum said she hasn't seen me smile in 16 months. No shit. No money (business dead), can't escape, partner left, etc. My dog is the only thing that hasn't abandoned me. Hell even the tiny fucking sparrows in the garden - 1 of them will perch in the tree very close to me - he/she clearly knows I'm the one putting out the food (most birds recognise humans through faces).

Fuck this shit world. Fuck people. Let the real animals take over (not shitty humans).

You are very intelligent. I dont find joy in materalistic stuff like most people do. Animals are the only joy in this world

 

[Throwawayacc3]

You are very intelligent. I dont find joy in materalistic stuff like most people do. Animals are the only joy in this world

When I say materialistic I mean like an expensive item of clothing (that isn't functional). E.g I have bought 3 expensive pairs of jeans (but that was 7 years ago and they are still fine). Or just buying a random gadjet or something that you can show off or be in view of everyone. Not buying 1 pair of sunglasses and leaving it at that. I've seen people have multiple pairs of sun glasses - why? Just get Polaroid to protect your eyes from the UV exposure and leave it at that? I think it's more a social status thing but who says "oh your glasses are nice what about the other 4 pairs?" lol.

Yeah some animals seem to have a higher function of emotions and logical aspects which is really strange. A tortoise shell has nerve endings (it's like our rib cage but exposed) so when you scratch it, it feels like a nice massage to them. I tried this at the sanctuary and he seemed to enjoy it lol. He's a small tortoise. Not sure on turtles/terapins but I'd imagine it's similar nerve/sensation wise.

From when I was young and to now - they are the only sentient creatures that can slightly quiet my brain or think less about depressive shit and even this forum (in the sense that things are pretty bleak here for most people).

 

[LaughingGoat]

I think the "ups" to those people are holidays, materialistic things, etc. it's quite telling if you ask them further what was making you "happy" and they'll probably mention a holiday.

I've commented before that I don't believe in this whole happy thing. It's depression and/or content. Going to the animal sanctuary clears my head and I feel a bit content but I know I can't stay there forever so have to leave when it closes and leave the animals even though I seem to be one of the only people they get human interaction with (apart from the people that work there). Or sitting with your dog.

See the attached graph
View attachment 140834

If you have fucked up genetics then the majority of time you will average at -1 or lower. A big life event might put you at +1 but overall that's killer. The majority of people (through either delusion, ignorance or low IQ) will float around 0 or +1.

Anyways I have to stay here for my dog for the time being. My mum said she hasn't seen me smile in 16 months. No shit. No money (business dead), can't escape, partner left, etc. My dog is the only thing that hasn't abandoned me. Hell even the tiny fucking sparrows in the garden - 1 of them will perch in the tree very close to me - he/she clearly knows I'm the one putting out the food (most birds recognise humans through faces).

Fuck this shit world. Fuck people. Let the real animals take over (not shitty humans).

This may be true in regards to some people, but there are tons of mature people who have happy lives doing things they find meaningful beyond holidays or buying things. You recognize that you, like probably many of us here, are naturally far more depressive than the average person. That's good insight on your own natural tendencies in regards to this feeling graph and how you think but implying most people don't regularly experience happiness is just projection.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

This may be true in regards to some people, but there are tons of mature people who have happy lives doing things they find meaningful beyond holidays or buying things. You recognize that you, like probably many of us here, are naturally far more depressive than the average person. That's good insight on your own natural tendencies in regards to this feeling graph and how you think but implying most people don't regularly experience happiness is just projection.

But here's the thing I noticed when I started to question people on this (even my own parents). I think it may be a neurotypical thing as that sort of "group think" never gets penetrated and when it does all hell breaks loose. A friend of mine who's I've known for decades - I said to him that nearly all parents do awful shit and said that as well as my parents constantly arguing, his dad was always loud and shouting when I was at his house. His response? *I think I have good parents* .

Difference is he either thinks that's normal, he's completely delusional or something else is going on. He even said that him and his wife shout when his kid really starts getting on their nerves (this isn't surprising at all - genetics and environment repeating itself). Nearly all my interactions in business and social (what I had of it) was fake and mostly for personal greed. Pointing this stuff out gets you ostracized quickly (again it's why neurodivergent and neurotypical people are extremely different in how their minds work).

People do experience "happiness" but it's very short lived. My example above - I bet he was happy when his child was born (that kid is going to have an awful life with the current situation of parents, shouting, get a job in a shit economy where you have to brown nose and have connections to get places, etc) but he's telling me both of them shout at him? lol.

I'm too autistic and logical for this. Tend to simplify a bit rather than getting out a full study on topics and marking out more important points (I'd rather do this with printing paper and sitting with another person to explain).

Another good thing to look at would be matches law/principle. If a person goes though life and they get everything they want then their brain rewires to see any obstacle/opportunity as "positive". However get someone who is constantly bullied, gas lit, abused, etc then they will see most outcomes as negative due to those constant experiences.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_effect

Crappy wiki pedia but the synopsis is explained ok.

There are always outliers to the "happiness" stuff. Question people on why they are happy about a thing, event, item and a lot of the time you start to see cracks. It's always very social damaging to the person making these questions as you get called labels or being negative but again, it's a mass group strategy where only positivity is allowed (even if it's damaging to the group). You see this with "mental health months" and all the virtue signalling.

TLDR : there are ALOT of selfish and greedy people out there and some hide it very well.

 

[Havnis]

Thank god, Love is free.

 

[LaughingGoat]

But here's the thing I noticed when I started to question people on this (even my own parents). I think it may be a neurotypical thing as that sort of "group think" never gets penetrated and when it does all hell breaks loose. A friend of mine who's I've known for decades - I said to him that nearly all parents do awful shit and said that as well as my parents constantly arguing, his dad was always loud and shouting when I was at his house. His response? *I think I have good parents* .

Difference is he either thinks that's normal, he's completely delusional or something else is going on. He even said that him and his wife shout when his kid really starts getting on their nerves (this isn't surprising at all - genetics and environment repeating itself). Nearly all my interactions in business and social (what I had of it) was fake and mostly for personal greed. Pointing this stuff out gets you ostracized quickly (again it's why neurodivergent and neurotypical people are extremely different in how their minds work).

People do experience "happiness" but it's very short lived. My example above - I bet he was happy when his child was born (that kid is going to have an awful life with the current situation of parents, shouting, get a job in a shit economy where you have to brown nose and have connections to get places, etc) but he's telling me both of them shout at him? lol.

I'm too autistic and logical for this. Tend to simplify a bit rather than getting out a full study on topics and marking out more important points (I'd rather do this with printing paper and sitting with another person to explain).

Another good thing to look at would be matches law/principle. If a person goes though life and they get everything they want then their brain rewires to see any obstacle/opportunity as "positive". However get someone who is constantly bullied, gas lit, abused, etc then they will see most outcomes as negative due to those constant experiences.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_effect

Crappy wiki pedia but the synopsis is explained ok.

There are always outliers to the "happiness" stuff. Question people on why they are happy about a thing, event, item and a lot of the time you start to see cracks. It's always very social damaging to the person making these questions as you get called labels or being negative but again, it's a mass group strategy where only positivity is allowed (even if it's damaging to the group). You see this with "mental health months" and all the virtue signalling.

TLDR : there are ALOT of selfish and greedy people out there and some hide it very well.

I get what you're saying and agree there are plenty selfish, greedy, unhappy people, but the stats just don't back up the claims and anecdotally referencing your interactions isn't data as it's still skewed by your perception. Do people complain and have issues, sure, as well as the evolutionary pattern of negativity bias. But empirical evidence through multiple methods show people on average are far happier than what you are portraying. This site (myself included) is not indicative of the general population. Someone made a post today asking along the lines of "is it normal to think about suicide all the time?" and like half of the responses were people genuinely answering yes it's normal. Now speaking as someone who does think of suicide often like most of us and also had a career in behavioral/mental health, the fact that it's a common perception in this community to believe the average person thinks about suicide regularly is so disconnected from how the general population thinks that it shows exactly what I'm saying. (Citing that post is not a criticism of the writer or responders, just an example of the perception). Additionally, the perception of people only experiencing short-lived happiness is often due to either expectations of happiness being expressed in a type of manic joy or underestimating the minimal requirements to achieve happiness for many in their day-to-day. For example, people who enjoy what they do for a living will encounter stress of course, but will also spend much of their day enjoying what they're doing. They may not be constantly smiling or extrovertedly happy, but that doesn't indicate they aren't overall happy. Even your example of your friend shows the black and white labeling of this, I think loud, shouting people are annoying but if he, as an individual, dealt with that and was still overall happy, then that's what it is. Judging him as delusional or maladaptive in some way for considering himself happy is based off your perception and own valuation, not his. If you weren't providing that example in relation to happiness, but just group think, I agree that all aspects of society and life should be examined but again it's an example where your and his perception of normal aren't matching. That's fine, but it means you can't attribute degrees of happiness or what he is accepting of to him in place of how he actually feels.

Happiness and Life Satisfaction

Self-reported life satisfaction differs widely between people and between countries. What explains these differences?

ourworldindata.org

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4724393/#:~:text=About%20a%20third%20(31.4%25),multivariate%20models%20in%20Table%202.

 

[Unknown21]

I hate when people say life is full of ups and downs. Some of us dont even experience ups..

My life is shitty since i was born and keeps getting worse gradually, i hate my existence so much.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

My life is shitty since i was born and keeps getting worse gradually, i hate my existence so much.

I wish dying of a broken heart was real so I could just die already.

 

[All-Dead-Y]

 

[Agon321]

Well, my life looks more like a drilling hole.
There is no indication that I will find oil.

 

[FuneralCry]

Saying things like that is just insensitive toxic positivity that invalidates suffering, I cannot stand people like that who make those statements even know they cannot experience existence in the same way as others.

 

[Ironborn]

Been waiting 37 years for it to "get better", still waiting.
Tried to improve my situation many times but for every step forward I take I get pushed back two, starting to think I'm cursed.
Just sick of trying at this point.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

Been waiting 37 years for it to "get better", still waiting.
Tried to improve my situation many times but for every step forward I take I get pushed back two, starting to think I'm cursed.
Just sick of trying at this point.

Same here. By the time I tried desperately to turn it around and fix things, it was like trying to tape a shattered glass together. Some things are just impossible.

 

[Daydream Believer]

I wish dying of a broken heart was real so I could just die already.

I think I am dying of a

 

[Hotsackage]

I don't want any ups with this shit

 

[Unknown21]

I wish dying of a broken heart was real so I could just die already.

I have always wished for this and to die in my sleep, but of course this is far-fetched. Even death must be accomplished by yourself. God does not help anyone.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I have always wished for this and to die in my sleep, but of course this is far-fetched. Even death must be accomplished by yourself. God does not help anyone.

I hate how the body fails in so many ways. But then it won't just die when you want it to. Meanwhile, people who are happy die when they don't want to. I would gladly trade.

 

[Unknown21]

I hate how the body fails in so many ways. But then it won't just die when you want it to. Meanwhile, people who are happy die when they don't want to. I would gladly trade.

This is what this existence or life in general is based on. It is almost designed to erase and destroy our desires, happiness, and hopes.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I hate when people say life is full of ups and downs. Some of us dont even experience ups..

I experience ups but they make me feel uneasy. They make me nervous of the fall to come so I am no longer able to enjoy the 'up'.

 

[TapeMachine]

The happiest moments of my life were when I was fortunate enough to experience mutual understanding, respect, and love with another person. God, I really fucking miss that...

Consequently, the most miserable moments of my life occurred when the aforementioned, rare & beautiful bond(s) eventually fell apart.

So I don't know. I'm the problem. And now I deny myself these sorts of bonds, because I'm not sure I can endure more heartache when the time comes.

 

[AveMori]

I hate when people say life is full of ups and downs. Some of us dont even experience ups..

Can confirm, my last up was two years ago and I could not even enjoy that, bc I knew life is gonna start sucking again any minute…