Update to my adventure

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

ok, and if for any reason they're not there, would there be a backup plan, eg how far to reach another branch of the same store, or an alternative store ?

I'm going to be reaching out to all the pharmacies within a reasonable uber distance, my credit card company gave me a credit increase for some reason. Worst case I just use my current 25mg tabs. If I can use my newly available "funds" to make it easier I wasn't sure if that's being to finnicky/overthinking or just trying to be efficent. Tired of putting it off as it just stresses me out more and I don't want to lose anymore hair before I CTB

 

[jgm63]

Your thought processes seem very reasonable. Anything you can do to make the process smoother is a good move....

Does the credit increase potentially mean you could do a full rethink, and maybe even reconsider the method you will use, and postpone for now ?
Or do you feel you want/need to proceed today with your current method ?

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

It could make me stick around for a month or so but it's not enough to truly make a difference, I'm not really doing this because of money it's more of a lot of other things (Child trauma/abuse, lack of any support system, lack of education or means to obtain it, and a few other things). I actually spent all my money trying to do this coincidently, prior to this it wasn't really a concern. I'm just in a bit of a time crunch too because the hotel is booked up for the weekend so more extensions, today is the day, no questions.

Definitely would just prefer to make it easier on myself if it all possible, gonna aim to buy 2 or 3 boxes at each place I go to saying I'm buying a months supply (24 per box saying I'm taking 2 a night for sleep)

 

[jgm63]

I suppose I was thinking more, does the credit extension perhaps make SN a potentially viable option again ?

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Just as a heads up to other, found another diphen thread on here I've never seen before and both users saying they were going to do it are banned(not sure if self banned or not but my thoughts are they most likely did)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/recommendation-of-pills-to-overdose.8289/#post-141117

I suppose I was thinking more, does the credit extension perhaps make SN a potentially viable option again ?

SN isn't really an option just because of time frame, if I had known I would be at this hotel for this long I would have tried to order it when I first got here but I guess, Ce La Vie

If anyone one in Canada has SN and wants to meet up today I'd be willing to pay big bucks for time and product but wouldn't want anyone to feel like it's a trap or anything or to put a strain on their own life ya know

 

[jgm63]

NB if SN were to become a possible consideration again, then I think the polish seller could be viable - you're in canada, aren't you ?

Just as a heads up to other, found another diphen thread on here I've never seen before and both users saying they were going to do it are banned(not sure if self banned or not but my thoughts are they most likely did)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/recommendation-of-pills-to-overdose.8289/#post-141117

SN isn't really an option just because of time frame, if I had known I would be at this hotel for this long I would have tried to order it when I first got here but I guess, Ce La Vie

If anyone one in Canada has SN and wants to meet up today I'd be willing to pay big bucks for time and product but wouldn't want anyone to feel like its a trap or anything or to put a strain on their own life ya know

Well it's up to you, I was just thinking that your credit extension might allow you to step back and completely re-plan with a better method.....
But obviously only you know all the details and what is therefore best overall.....

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

NB if SN were to become a possible consideration again, then I think the polish seller could be viable - you're in canada, aren't you ?

Well it's up to you, I was just thinking that your credit extension might allow you to step back and completely re-plan with a better method.....
But obviously only you know all the details and what is therefore best overall.....

Yeah, the time frame is important to me. I have the resolve today, I am in a mind set where I am comfortable with it ya know? Plus I am just tired of all these health issues as well. It's strange to be a young 20's male and have all these issues deterioting you if that makes sense?

 

[jgm63]

Sure, only you can weigh up and make the decisions.

Because I've heard some not so great reports of your current method, and because this credit extension has shown up, that's why I was thinking it really might be worth stopping for a few moments, and considering whether it might be worth a re-think.

However, the decision is all yours of course, so I won't say any more on the subject.....

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

The method can definitely be hit or miss but it is pretty sure as long as I don't have anyone rescue me in the first 16 hours. I actually did do what you're suggesting yesterday when I got it; I don't have the technical expertise for an exit bag, nor a way to discreetly get a tank into a hotel, SN would take too long to get unless someone wanted to sell it for like $500 today (even willing to negotiate there), there are CO moniters in the hotel like crazy so can't do the coal method, have no access to perscription pills, I've tried hanging and NN, don't have a location for jumping, would like to avoid train if it's possible to not traumatize the conductor, N would also take too long to get here and is too expensive. I really like the idea of a more ideal method; I'm not trying to say that this is the be all end all of methods or that it will be at all pleasurable, I just can't think of any other good methods that I can acquire in a day. If there are any suggestions I am more than willing to listen though!

Sure, only you can weigh up and make the decisions.

Because I've heard some not so great reports of your current method, and because this credit extension has shown up, that's why I was thinking it really might be worth stopping for a few moments, and considering whether it might be worth a re-think.

However, the decision is all yours of course, so I won't say any more on the subject.....

I'm sorry JGM, I didn't want to make you feel like I'm disregarding what you're saying, your feedback is very thought provoking and supportive especially because you are nust looking out for me, nothing else. Hundred percent you are right another method would be better just don't know of any others I can get in a day. If I don't do it today I will have to pay a months rent which is more than the increase/would leave nothing left for another method

 

[jgm63]

I suppose I was thinking that your credit extension might allow you to check out of the hotel, source some new materials, eg SN, then book back in to the same or a different hotel....
Frustrating, I know, because you were geared up to do it, but surely worth considering, since this is something you *don't* wanna mess up, to put it mildly.

Sorry, I'm just trying to make sure you are thinking soundly and making wise choices....

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

I suppose I was thinking that your credit extension might allow you to check out of the hotel, source some new materials, eg SN, then book back in to the same or a different hotel....
Frustrating, I know, because you were geared up to do it, but surely worth considering, since this is something you *don't* wanna mess up, to put it mildly.

Sorry, I'm just trying to make sure you are thinking soundly and making wise choices....

There is nothing to be sorry about in the slightest, you are quite literally only looking out for me. I could hypothetically check into another hotel but it would be for a shorter time as I'm at one of the cheapest ones where I live. I just wouldn't be able to source anything quickly, and wouldn't want to miss my opportunity to CTB while looking for the potential for other methods and have to rebook into a different hotel for the weekend (big festival in town so heard a lot were sold out) I seriously appreciate you looking out for my best interests and trying to make my exit as peaceful as possible

 

[jgm63]

There is nothing to be sorry about in the slightest, you are quite literally only looking out for me. I could hypothetically check into another hotel but it would be for a shorter time as I'm at one of the cheapest ones where I live. I just wouldn't be able to source anything quickly, and wouldn't want to miss my opportunity to CTB while looking for the potential for other methods and have to rebook into a different hotel for the weekend (big festival in town so heard a lot were sold out) I seriously appreciate you looking out for my best interests and trying to make my exit as peaceful as possible

ah, ok.... So you couldn't stay with any friend while you source some SN, or find somewhere really cheap in a neighbouring town, while you source the SN ? Want me to run some accomodation price checks ? If so, I'll need your current town name....

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

ah, ok.... So you couldn't stay with any friend while you source some SN, or find somewhere really cheap in a neighbouring town, while you source the SN ? Want me to run some accomodation price checks ? If so, I'll need your current town name....

I genuinely appreciate the sentiment a lot but sourcing SN is going to take a good while, and my funds won't keep me going that long, I have to pay the rent by end of day today. I left a note and two nooses in my room so today is my day. If my landlord breaks down my door (he actually might) I am being admitted to a hospital. I am not trying to turn down what you're offering but I am limited to what I find today. Today is destined to be my last

 

[jgm63]

Understood. Well anyhow, sourcing the larger tablets sounds like it may be worthwhile.....

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Understood. Well anyhow, sourcing the larger tablets sounds like it may be worthwhile.....

I'm going to call all the walmarts in the city when the open in an hour or so and pharmacies as they open. On top of not sleeping tonight, and having the alcohol with the diphen I'm hoping it should put me clean out. From what I was reading I could actually probably get away with a lower dose of diphen with the alcohol but don't care and want to keep the higher dose to be safe.

JGM, thank you for looking out for me man. This is a thing that something that we only really get one true shot at and I'm gracious you're trying to help make sure I get this right.

 

[jgm63]

I may not be online too much longer, so I will wish you a safe journey....

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Thanks JGM, you're an amazing person and I hope that you can be happy in life and find peace in death when it's your time

If anyone is curious about pill availability I'll be updating once I have info on that. Thanks for staying with me on my journey everyone

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Called a few local walmarts and they seem to stock the 50mg tablets. In a worst case I will have to uber all the way across my city to get them if other pharmacies nearby don't have them but I'll be able to check them in another hour or two (hoping they will if walmart does). I'll be back with definitives in a bit!

 

[realjunes]

Called a few local walmarts and they seem to stock the 50mg tablets. In a worst case I will have to uber all the way across my city to get them if other pharmacies nearby don't have them but I'll be able to check them in another hour or two (hoping they will if walmart does). I'll be back with definitives in a bit!

Hello Tired. I hope this works, if you go through, fewer pills will certainly be better. I read your thread with JMG so I am caught up
with your circumstances and thinking and choices. Will watch for your return, brother.

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Hey Guys!

Bit of a bigger update than expected, checked out of the other hotel and checked into a different on so I could have two back to back nights at the same place. I also went out to get the 50mg tablets, incredibly easy, no questions and in fact the lady who rang me through in one store gave me a few bucks off per package just outta the blue. Got a total of 4 boxes of 36x50mg, so back up to 7.2g's with less than half the pills so I am definitely relieved I won't be downing over 290 pills in less than 10 minutes.

Picked up my absolute favourite food after, and am just enjoying it while typing this. Might catch a few zzz's before starting anything so I can fast for 5 hours again plus I'm exhausted haha. I won't drag on with it but wanted to let you all know it did go well.

Sending love to you all and will update later once I get closer to my Meto time

 

[realjunes]

Hey Guys!

Bit of a bigger update than expected, checked out of the other hotel and checked into a different on so I could have two back to back nights at the same place. I also went out to get the 50mg tablets, incredibly easy, no questions and in fact the lady who rang me through in one store gave me a few bucks off per package just outta the blue. Got a total of 4 boxes of 36x50mg, so back up to 7.2g's with less than half the pills so I am definitely relieved I won't be downing over 290 pills in less than 10 minutes.

Picked up my absolute favourite food after, and am just enjoying it while typing this. Might catch a few zzz's before starting anything so I can fast for 5 hours again plus I'm exhausted haha. I won't drag on with it but wanted to let you all know it did go well.

Sending love to you all and will update later once I get closer to my Meto time

Okay, Tired. Sound good. Check you later

 

[less than]

Did you ever use the search function here on SS? May be that there are more threads about your chosen method.

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Did you ever use the search function here on SS? May be that there are more threads about your chosen method.

I have, and looked most of the sources I could find, but moet were people advising against it because they had a bad trip on it with doseages ranging from 400mg-1g. The amount of people as well who vocally look down on the method because of accounts in those low dose overdoses has been the hardest part just because it creates doubt in my mind (if that makes sense). It kind of got me down but then looking at the accounts of people who took 2g+ (lethal doses) and were rescued, for the most part said they don't remember much other than waking up in the hospital or they remember taking it and got up and went out and that's how they got found.

I'm taking precautions to prevent me from leaving the room (blocking the door with a chair and might even tape it shut with gorilla tape). The alcohol combined with the diphen might actually just stop my breathing after I take them (both are CNS depressants and alcohol supposedly potentiates the sedative effect and then other CNS symptoms start) but still could be the cardiotoxicity of the anticholinergic properties of the diphen that get me in the end too.

I have been looking for reports of massively high overdoses, in my opinion meaning higher than 1.5g-2g's, and all the one's I have found say they should be dead but as mentioned before were found. I have no one to look for me so no worries there and even if I go outside it is cold here (in Canada that's just a fact of life in November lol) I could just freeze if I fall asleep, but definitely have the goal to just not be found or leave the room.

Now I am just waiting for a good time now to start this, for me to feel completely comfortable with it. I'm choosing to think about it like I am starting at a new school, just a new adventure.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I know I've said this before but I really hope you find peace.

 

[webancverba]

I have, and looked most of the sources I could find, but moet were people advising against it because they had a bad trip on it with doseages ranging from 400mg-1g. The amount of people as well who vocally look down on the method because of accounts in those low dose overdoses has been the hardest part just because it creates doubt in my mind (if that makes sense). It kind of got me down but then looking at the accounts of people who took 2g+ (lethal doses) and were rescued, for the most part said they don't remember much other than waking up in the hospital or they remember taking it and got up and went out and that's how they got found.

I'm taking precautions to prevent me from leaving the room (blocking the door with a chair and might even tape it shut with gorilla tape). The alcohol combined with the diphen might actually just stop my breathing after I take them (both are CNS depressants and alcohol supposedly potentiates the sedative effect and then other CNS symptoms start) but still could be the cardiotoxicity of the anticholinergic properties of the diphen that get me in the end too.

I have been looking for reports of massively high overdoses, in my opinion meaning higher than 1.5g-2g's, and all the one's I have found say they should be dead but as mentioned before were found. I have no one to look for me so no worries there and even if I go outside it is cold here (in Canada that's just a fact of life in November lol) I could just freeze if I fall asleep, but definitely have the goal to just not be found or leave the room.

Now I am just waiting for a good time now to start this, for me to feel completely comfortable with it. I'm choosing to think about it like I am starting at a new school, just a new adventure.

Nice to know someone else in Canada on here. I hope you can find your peace and wish you safe passage to wherever we end up after this

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Nice to know someone else in Canada on here. I hope you can find your peace and wish you safe passage to wherever we end up after this

Yeah I haven't seen to many of us Canucks on here in my time registered or when I was just lurking, it's nice to see a fellow Canadian. Depending on where you are health care makes it really easy to get Meto and the like from walk-in clinics (just not benzos and such), not saying to do it but good info to have imho.

I'm thinking I am going to do it today at 10; for the past year 10 has been the time I started work, one of the places I feel the most contempt now. I feel it fitting to end it at the time I went to the place that has contributed to the slow deterioration of my spirit. Thanks for your well wishes and your hopes for the best, when your time comes I wish the utmost serenity for you and that all the negative feelings may empty from you to instead be replaced with nothing but peace and love

 

[jgm63]

Wishing you a safe journey once again.....

 

[TiredAndReadyToGo]

Taking this advice to heart and just taking some time before going through to truly remember why I am doing this, avoid any flinching.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/perhaps-this-helps-anyone-avoid-flinching.8235/#post-140813

 

[jgm63]

Hi TRG
I sent you another PM with some of my thoughts.....
I hope you can read that and find it helpful

I'm going to be offline for a while.

If you elect to proceed, then I wish you a safe journey.

Sweet dreams.....

 

[MissNietzsche]

I seem really scared. No one would judge you for putting this off again.

I actually ordered SN and Meto for myself, but I know I'm going to have it in my possession for months before I use it.

This all seems quite new and scary for you..maybe you can have the appropriate materials in your possession for a while and sit on them, so that when the time does come, you're ready?

(Also, I would never be able to choke that shit down hahah; I'd have to put it directly into my stomach through a tube (yes, I have that ability)). Ffs, even if you took a few months to learn how to do that, so that when the time came, it would be easy to ingest, we wouldn't blame you