N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 6,348
I went for the jugular from my former therapist. I think she feels the pressure and currently looks for a lawyer. I think she fucked up the situation pretty hard and I think the lawyer had to be really good to make a real change. This week I have an appointment with my psychiatrist about the situation and I am very nervous...The appointment is pretty early at the morning. And that's not good. Maybe I will take a benzo beforehand. I have the feeling she sort of teams up with her...which is unfair.
The progressive woman who I had a date with didn't answer my text message. I wonder whether I should text her again. I am really not sure about her intentions. Maybe she is only playing with me.
I am invited to a birthday party of a friend this week. Not sure how this will impact my mental health. I need to stay stable.
I bought some things on the internet and it sucessfully distracts me. I notice though stimulation by academic texts are the best way to distract me from my issues. I get the feeling I have a committment to read enough texts on a daily basis to be such a smart-ass. The interesting thing though I am never a smart-ass about the things I actually read. If I have this much information on a topic I am hesitant to have a strong opinion. But I have strong position when it is about introspection. I think this is something I do all the time. But this is susceptible for biases.
I am getting clean of benzos the last days. I haven't touch them. Without withdrawal symptoms. But I am taking z-medication since 3,5 weeks straight. I think maximum should be 6 weeks. This could become crucial. My stomach still hurts all the time. I try not to binge eat. But my stomach is pretty insane lately.
I didn't go to the self-help group. I think the chemistry master student is manipulating one person to hate me. The dude who has the crazy postition that if there is a shooting he only has empathy for one person (the shooter).
But really I don't care this much. The person will realize eventually which kind of person she is. Recently, I had to think about something. Whether people who are in favor of Israel in the Middle East conflict are in generally a red flag. My former therapist was staunchly pro-Israel and criticized me for going to a pro-Palestine protest. She put me in the Nazi corner for it. She turned out to be really phoney. And I have the feeling many people who are in favor of Israel where I live are careerists. They posture themselves as morally superior on top of that. I know some people in favor of Israel. For example, the dude that gets manipulated by the chemistry master student. And another college friend. And I get the feeling either these people are pretty brainwashed, don't know dick about the actual conflict or are straight morally corrupt.
I think though being pro-Palestine is still no green flag for me. It is good but you cannot judge the moral integrity by that. I am not fully sure.
The progressive woman who I had a date with didn't answer my text message. I wonder whether I should text her again. I am really not sure about her intentions. Maybe she is only playing with me.
I am invited to a birthday party of a friend this week. Not sure how this will impact my mental health. I need to stay stable.
I bought some things on the internet and it sucessfully distracts me. I notice though stimulation by academic texts are the best way to distract me from my issues. I get the feeling I have a committment to read enough texts on a daily basis to be such a smart-ass. The interesting thing though I am never a smart-ass about the things I actually read. If I have this much information on a topic I am hesitant to have a strong opinion. But I have strong position when it is about introspection. I think this is something I do all the time. But this is susceptible for biases.
I am getting clean of benzos the last days. I haven't touch them. Without withdrawal symptoms. But I am taking z-medication since 3,5 weeks straight. I think maximum should be 6 weeks. This could become crucial. My stomach still hurts all the time. I try not to binge eat. But my stomach is pretty insane lately.
I didn't go to the self-help group. I think the chemistry master student is manipulating one person to hate me. The dude who has the crazy postition that if there is a shooting he only has empathy for one person (the shooter).
But really I don't care this much. The person will realize eventually which kind of person she is. Recently, I had to think about something. Whether people who are in favor of Israel in the Middle East conflict are in generally a red flag. My former therapist was staunchly pro-Israel and criticized me for going to a pro-Palestine protest. She put me in the Nazi corner for it. She turned out to be really phoney. And I have the feeling many people who are in favor of Israel where I live are careerists. They posture themselves as morally superior on top of that. I know some people in favor of Israel. For example, the dude that gets manipulated by the chemistry master student. And another college friend. And I get the feeling either these people are pretty brainwashed, don't know dick about the actual conflict or are straight morally corrupt.
I think though being pro-Palestine is still no green flag for me. It is good but you cannot judge the moral integrity by that. I am not fully sure.
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