(unjustified?) guilt

[@siniy_cat]

I am relatively new here and I think I agree at least to some degree with the overall idea of this website, which is why I regeistered obviously, even if I worry about the encouragement of it sometimes and giving someone instructions on how to kill themselves also doesn't feels right to me, though it is just a feeling and I haven't thought about it much yet, so maybe that will change maybe not.
I don't think there is anything wrong with discussing suicidal thoughts openly and I also appreciate the openmindedness people here have regarding that topic.
But I still have for some reason this feeling of guilt associated with spending time here, or even just having an account. No one in my life knows that I am registered here, and probably no one will ever know, so why do I feel so judged for it?
I guess I just wanted to ask on how to deal with that, wether someone experienced something similar and if this feeling goes away after a while.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can't really help much because I've never felt guilty as such about being here but I wanted to say- welcome to the forum.

I do agree that I feel hesitant talking about methods with people but- that's fine- you can always avoid that and stick to the more philosophical side of things. I wouldn't be much help to anyone anyway because I'm not hugely knowledgeable. Plus- really- the information is here for people to read themselves, so- there's no pressure to get involved there.

Not that you have to answer if it feels too personal but, do you feel guilty about the suicidal thoughts themselves? Is it connected to that maybe? I think for many of us, this side of ourselves is a secret to others. I was very young when I first had ideation- aged 10. I think maybe I felt more scared than guilty but maybe there was some there. The feeling of wanting something and having thoughts about it that is considered wrong. It didn't take me long to realise that these were other people's beliefs- rather than my own.

 

[@siniy_cat]

Not that you have to answer if it feels too personal but, do you feel guilty about the suicidal thoughts themselves? Is it connected to that maybe?

I don't feel guilty about my ideation, but more about maybe being complicit in someones suicide or being responsible for it, even though I do believe that anyone should have the right to make that decision. Also I know rationally there is literally no reason for me to believe this.
Sorry for the late reply. I read your post, wanted to reply to it later und fogot about it.