Ungrateful Friends

[Phill]

Anyone else ever had an ungrateful friend?

Here's my story:

This "friend" is a very hard-to-deal person, and since she started working with me, she's fallen out with almost everyone here, except me - because I always overlooked her shitty behavior. But last week she pissed me off for real. I said that I didn't like what she had done, and she frowned and left me talkin' alone. Now she's treating me like shit, as if I had done something really bad for her. She's not even responding a simple "good morning" from me, and I wouldn't be surprised if she pulled the rug from under my feet at work.

Damn, I got this girl a job and taught her everything I know about this job. For an entire year she wouldn't do anything without my help. I defended her when people talked crap about her, I paid for her breakfast for more than a month when she didn't have any money, I did a lot for her because I considered her a friend, but it clearly wasn't mutual.

Any experience with a "friend" like this?

 

[WornOutLife]

People certainly forget the times we were there for them!
Sorry you've had this experience.

I have some ungrateful friends, well, not friends anymore lol. I don't even talk to them. Waste of time.

 

[Isadeth]

I have shitty friends too. Well I did. I just ignore everyone now for the most part. I'm sorry she's being like that. Stop defending her and let natural consequences for her shit work and attitude take place. Don't engage and let her mess up your work environment.

 

[GoneGirl]

Multiple.. I don't know what exactly is wrong with people like this but it seems the more you do for them the more they want to F you over.

I think its simply a case of some people genuinely are ungrateful & entitled. I also think that the old adage of kindness taken for weakness applies here too. Unluckily a lot of my 'friends' have found out the hard way that I'm kind but not weak.

 

[death137]

I'm sorry. The thing is many ppl are like that. Its after you are used that you will find out. The best you can do now is try to accept what happened and distance yourself from her.

It happened to me multiple times. The worst happened last year with this two ex-friends. It also happened to my parents many times. My parents (father deceased) are communist at heart and shared their wealth with many ppl. They also helped in other things. We are financially ok now but if my parents didn't helped those many ungrateful souls we would have been rich and also less stress to my mother.

 

[Still Waiting]

I don't really have experience with a friend like that but I have seen workplace dynamics like that.

Your description is pretty vague (so I could go way out of line here) but my guess is she is probably not ungrateful. It seems like she is more likely upset you addressed her with "I don't like what you have done" (a judgement) instead of just discussing what was going on with her and discovering her rational (which, I guess, is that she is a loser at the very bottle of the work-place hierarchy who can't partake in socially acceptable disrespect of co-workers in order to feel ok so she just does what she has to do to cling to some dignity but, who knows; your description is quite vague).

Why did you overlook her "shitty" behaviour in the past? I suspect you feel the behaviour is not actually complete "shit" (you seem to be a really good person). In this instance, maybe you should find out exactly why she did what she did? Maybe the answer will make you value her more as a friend and stop her from "pulling the rug out from under you" or maybe just cut her loose; where do you draw the line in regards to how charitable you are?

Just ignore this if I am out to lunch.

 

[Lefty]

I had "friends" like this. I no longer have "friends" like that. Some people are just too greedy, selfish and spoiled.

 

[Phill]

I'm sorry. The thing is many ppl are like that. Its after you are used that you will find out.

To be quite honest, despite all this, she never intended to use me, she's not like this.

The best you can do now is try to accept what happened and distance yourself from her.

Reading this makes me think that I was unconsciously doing that for a few months now. I changed my breakfast time so I wouldn't have it with her. Then I changed my lunch schedule for the same reason. I was moving away from her little by little.

And I feel sorry for your parents. People in general likes to take advantage of good-hearted people.

It seems like she is more likely upset you addressed her with "I don't like what you have done" (a judgement) instead of just discussing what was going on with her..

I disagree with you. I don't think it was a judgment, it was a reaction to something disrespectful she did to me. That's different. And I went easy on her, because I didn't yell, curse or be rude to her. I just said I didn't like that.

Why did you overlook her "shitty" behaviour in the past? I suspect you feel the behaviour is not actually complete "shit"

You brought up an interesting point here. It made think "why did I overlook her behavior?" and I came to a conclusion.

I ignored a lot of what she did because it wasn't to me. That's a fact. I'd think "that sucks" but wouldn't really care. When it was to me, my reaction was, like I said to death137 above, unconsciously distancing myself from her. Now I can see that. So I did overlook her actions to some point, but not entirely.