Unable to exist in this world

[die2live]

The older I get the more I struggle with life. I want to ctb because of my social life. I am incapable of maintaining any relationship, romantic, platonic or familial. People find me ugly, boring and negative. I keep doing embarassing things in social settings I can't stop replaying and cringing over. I keep making people uncomfortable and struggle to truly be myself and authentic, im always changing to gain acceptance based on who im around, so pathetic as im in my late 20s

 

[Seeking_Peace]

Do you feel like you're living in the past?

 

[befree]

I totally understand you. This world has changed so much. And it's all going to get worse. New world order, cost of living, less human rights....etc.
This is not my world anymore. I wish I could go back to the 1990th.

 

[Ligottian]

I'm older than most folks here, but I definitely feel like a stranger in a strange land. I feel horror seeing people constantly glued to their smart phones. Even today, when I think of a "phone", I imagine a device that people called you on and you them. Nothing more or less.

I worry about things like the elimination of paper bank checks. Will your utilities be cut off if you can't pay your bill without some infernal digital device? I see that as well within the realm of possibility. Technology may well be a deciding factor when I CTB.

 

[sfabians]

Do you have autism or asperger's syndrome?

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so much. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are struggling. This life really is so tiring. I also feel like I am unable to exist in this world, for many reasons. I should have never been born in the first place, I am only suited for non existence. I hope that you find relief from suffering in whatever you decide to do.

 

[whatevs]

I relate to a pitiful degree, but with that age there's still an opportunity to turn things around, if you want to try again, that is.

Ah yes lol to the people saying New World Order or technological dystopia, anything you do right now is to pass time, something much worse than the fake pandemic is on its way.

I'd focus on getting your spiritual shit together because a lot of us are going to die before 2030 guaranteed.

 

[indica]

i relate. can i chat you

 

[jimmy7754]

Pain and suffering

 

[die2live]

Do you feel like you're living in the past?

What do you mean?

I totally understand you. This world has changed so much. And it's all going to get worse. New world order, cost of living, less human rights....etc.
This is not my world anymore. I wish I could go back to the 1990th.

Yea, it feels like its only going to get worse. I wish I could go back to the peace of no existence…

Do you have autism or asperger's syndrome?

Honestly, ive never been diagnosed but sometimes i wonder if I am. What aspects of my post make you think about autism?

I'm sorry that you suffer so much. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are struggling. This life really is so tiring. I also feel like I am unable to exist in this world, for many reasons. I should have never been born in the first place, I am only suited for non existence. I hope that you find relief from suffering in whatever you decide to do.

Thank you

I relate to a pitiful degree, but with that age there's still an opportunity to turn things around, if you want to try again, that is.

Ah yes lol to the people saying New World Order or technological dystopia, anything you do right now is to pass time, something much worse than the fake pandemic is on its way.

I'd focus on getting your spiritual shit together because a lot of us are going to die before 2030 guaranteed.

Honestly, i'd be glad to be gone by 2030, but I am interested in spirituality. What type of spiritual things do you go? Feel free to PM instead if you'd prefer to talk there

i relate. can i chat you

Sure

 

[Passersby]

The older I get the more I struggle with life. I want to ctb because of my social life. I am incapable of maintaining any relationship, romantic, platonic or familial. People find me ugly, boring and negative. I keep doing embarassing things in social settings I can't stop replaying and cringing over. I keep making people uncomfortable and struggle to truly be myself and authentic, im always changing to gain acceptance based on who im around, so pathetic as im in my late 20s

Hi there, I can definitely relate to some of these things you mentioned. Everything just seems to get worse and more expensive. It's rather pointless to continue on knowing that old age in itself brings more suffering even if thats all there was. Ever year we are going to need more and more money also. If your actually going to try to hang around some people or have a relationship then in most cases you would have to find a way to be able to turn down the negativity or hide it. Depends on if you can or not and how long you have been in a hole, and what you have to deal with. It may or may not be worth it. it can be easier to just exist in isolation sometimes depending on the situation despite the suffering. You will become somewhat used to it eventually and anhedonic. I'm not saying it's good. It Just depends on the person. Either way there is suffering and only you can make the decision on which way to turn. I hope it can be fixed for you though.

Do you feel like you're living in the past?

Yes. Simply because the past was way better, easier, and more real. Life wasn't over yet. Here we are for now. Things are going to get a lot worse out there.

 

[die2live]

Hi there, I can definitely relate to some of these things you mentioned. Everything just seems to get worse and more expensive. It's rather pointless to continue on knowing that old age in itself brings more suffering even if thats all there was. Ever year we are going to need more and more money also. If your actually going to try to hang around some people or have a relationship then in most cases you would have to find a way to be able to turn down the negativity or hide it. Depends on if you can or not and how long you have been in a hole, and what you have to deal with. It may or may not be worth it. it can be easier to just exist in isolation sometimes depending on the situation despite the suffering. You will become somewhat used to it eventually and anhedonic. I'm not saying it's good. It Just depends on the person. Either way there is suffering and only you can make the decision on which way to turn. I hope it can be fixed for you though.


Yes. Simply because the past was way better, easier, and more real. Life wasn't over yet. Here we are for now. Things are going to get a lot worse out there.

I was in complete solitude for 3 years and I think its ruined my ability to social. I think i am too negative now and awkward in social situations, I don't know if ill ever be able to feel normal

 

[Lost Magic]

Funny you should mention that. This is my new favourite song at the moment and good prep for ctb.

 

[sfabians]

Honestly, ive never been diagnosed but sometimes i wonder if I am. What aspects of my post make you think about autism?

"I am incapable of maintaining any relationship" - That's a typical symptom of autism/aspergers.
As this article says, autistic people may find some aspects of communication and social interaction challenging.

 

[Judy Garland]

I keep replaying cringy moments of my life too. All the way through childhood to now (at 38). I'm tired of it too. I just want it all to stop.

 

[die2live]

I keep replaying cringy moments of my life too. All the way through childhood to now (at 38). I'm tired of it too. I just want it all to stop.

Its the worst, intrusive thoughts