What led me to write that statement was the following: if I were given the choice of being born beautiful or ugly, I would choose beautiful, and I thought most people would do so too.
I didn't consider the possibility that someone would choose the ugly option, but I realize now that someone like you for whom being pretty causes so much anguish, would perhaps decide against the pretty option.
Oh I assure you, they, and everyone else, know good and well that they would choose physical beauty over the opposite, they would be a complete moron to choose otherwise, and sure to regret it.
then may i ask what you were referring to here? because im referring to even the "advantages". getting a job just because youre pretty isnt really an "advantage" all its saying is "i hired you because i want to fuck you and now i get to look at you all day". any "advantage" that comes with being pretty is just treating the person as subhuman and for 'you' (the employer) its just creepy and wrong.
How can you possibly say being chosen for a job is not an advantage?
People having the opportunity to provide for themselves is not an advantage?
Food on the table, money in your pocket, warmth in your bed? A chance at a full blown career??
Oh the angels cry, someone is reducing you to your appearance, at least you get perks from it!
I've been reduced to my appearance my entire life and there are no prizes won to comfort myself when I lay my head to rest at night.
Listen to me-sarcasm or not-you can pick apart your privilege all day long to find little cracks in the rainbow, but even THAT is a luxury.
And could be said for just about anything and everything in life, especially if you've got a cynical mind and a critical eye.
The fact that you can even sit there and twist your good fortune into a misfortune is truly astonishing and incredibly insulting.
(So disappointing as I have found value in some of your other comments on unrelated topics.)
It is absolutely incomparable to be on the other side of the looks spectrum.
This is not apples to apples, this is apples to crab apples.
and being treated subhuman because youre pretty im guessing is a sign of successfulness as well?
You are treated "subhuman" for being pretty!?!? My god! That must make every last one of us absolute monsters then!
Welcome to the club!
I think you are mistaking "subhuman" for "above human" as most attractive people are treated like deities, rather than the scum of the earth.
im with the "no it shouldnt" group but im gonna go into a little more detail.
to start with im actually exactly average height for a canadian female, 5ft4. so yes im not "short" however ive been called short my entire "non growing" life (i stopped growing @15-16ish) and yeah, its really fucking annoying. im tired of being used as an armrest, literally guys have done this. and to a degree it can be called a disability because holy fuck if it wasnt for my husband and step stools i wouldnt be able to use the top shelf, but thats where the disability aspect stops. however if you do want to generalize it then tall people should be considered "disabled" as well. however sadly just because 'you' arent "normal", it does not qualify as a disability. a disability is something that disables you to do something. being short or tall doesnt disable that, its anxiety. if you didnt have anxiety over it then you would be "disabled".
now on to the ugly part. again not a disability. it doesnt disable you to do anything and someone not hiring you because of it is called discrimination, call someone higher up and report them for discrimination. also again then "pretty" should be a disability as well because i just fucking love not being treated like a human, its so much fun (this sentence is literally drenched in sarcasm in case 'you' couldnt pick up on it) ugly/pretty is a society problem not a disability. why should 'you' get disability because other people are assholes?
these problems just do not classify.
First of all, we aren't referring to physical ability, we are referring to how looking a certain way can induce mental distress, social ostracism, and isolation, thus inhibiting the person from leading a normal life, hence the "disability".
You are on the right track as some people are actually on disability benefits for things like anxiety, but it's usually generalized anxiety, not anxiety due to life circumstances (though imo both should be applicable.)
Where appearances are concerned, height is an issue with both sexes..but not in the same way.
You, as a female being "short", is not the same as a man being short.
"Short to average" is preferable for females (unless you've got the looks and dream to be a runway model) while "average to tall" is preferable for males (unless you have a dream of competing in the Kentucky Derby..a lower height tends to allow a lower weight.)
And to note, I am not including the extremes of dwarfism or gigantism-both of which deserve a separate category and consideration.
You might as well attempt to compare cup sizes with men if you're saying your relatively average/veering on short height is comparable to a man's.
I am barely an inch taller than you and I've rarely made a fuss about my height, except that I wanted to be shorter, as so many women brag about being "smol". (Gag me)
(Hate to break it to you but men are using you as an arm rest because they find you cute, not because they consider you subhuman furniture. Take your own advice and call them out on it, walk away, it's far more feasible than an ugly person being forced to walk away from a job opportunity that will literally pay their rent.)
You are really reaching if you're saying it's an annoyance because you can't reach the top shelf or-again-that you're used as an armrest (to repeat myself, how about you just move and tell them not to touch you!?)..I honestly thought you were being sarcastic (were you?) as I was reading your reasoning for not appreciating your height.
I feel like I've entered the damn twilight zone.
If you are using sarcasm to relate two things as one in the same, it's not working.
I also think the term "disability" is a hard sell because it usually refers to physical disabilities where you can't live independently, in some manner or another.
Therein may lie your confusion.
^
What OP is referring to-I believe- is not necessarily that, but rather the push for the unattractive to be a protected class, and for help to be available to them, with allowances made for their detriments.
Other classes (such as race, sex, religious denomination, etc) are afforded leniency and protection against discrimination that unattractive people are not afforded.
(Those who marry and procreate are similarly given rewards by the government and their employers, to the dismay and exhaustion of those who must pick up their slack.)
Which is all quite laughable considering people have more control over their wombs (or penises) and religion than their natural born appearance.
Lookism, the longest standing and most pervasive -ism, is just about the only one that has yet to be afforded the fight for equal treatment.
We are barred from acting in a racist manner, a sexist manner, we are reprimanded if we slut-shame or fat-shame, yet ugly-shaming somehow slipped through the cracks.
The problem is, that being unattractive is SO detrimental and off-putting, that most people, even those who are dealt a bad hand-find it difficult to assert their disadvantage, as in doing so they must willingly label themselves as 'ugly'.
A trait that the mind often works to avoid naming, even within one's own self, as it
is the last thing any person wants to be.
And the rest of society must also do away with the platitudes and the "everyone is beautiful" lies that they spread to save their own face, to absolve them of guilt, and to avoid being the "bad guy" by imparting the truth, and thus avoiding the necessary acknowledgement and sympathy that the unattractive have had withheld from them.
These reasons likely contribute to why physical alterations have advanced more than society's ability to remain blind and impartial to another person's outer shell.
It's so hardwired, it's in the subconscious as well as the conscious mind, we must work very diligently to avoid the instant judgement that occurs when we lay our eyes upon another human being.
We must be willing to embody and assess the difficult truth-with due respect-instead of denying its existence and gaslighting those who suffer its perils.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, to anyone who wants to make being "pretty" into an entity equal to being "ugly" or the like, I have this to say to you:
Enough.
You need to
cut the
shit.
I was initially not going to involve myself in this topic, as I usually do, because it is too fucking exhausting to rehash the pain with those who have never experienced it themselves.
But there is always someone(s) who feels so entitled as to come into a thread that has nothing to do with them, just to dismiss or trivialize the OP's predicament.
Why do you feel the need to do that?
(and by "you", I am here on referring to ANY naysayer of this issue, on this site, or otherwise, who feels the need to minimize or stomp on something they fail to fathom. It's becoming a major problem and a point of contention. It is bathed in hypocrisy and much worse, and I am SICK of it.
Every. Fucking. Time.
So let me speak to the open air, and to any who have pulled this crap before and will so pull it again.
Why?
Is it that you felt your privilege being attacked and didn't want to lose the pity-party spotlight, along with every other coddling action that society affords you?
Hmm?
You don't see me going into threads about missing limbs and moaning about how having all my appendages weighs me down, how people expect me to open doors for them and carry heavy baggage, how I get a paper cut and sometimes people yank my extremities..oh WOE IS ME, for I am as bad off as an amputee!
...
Do you see the ridiculousness of what you are doing?
You are the wealthy preaching to the penniless.
The grass is NOT greener on both sides.
Only on yours, does the sun ever shine.
You are acting in a preposterous manner that reeks of the very privilege you are attempting to deny.
There is a reason you feel you can even do what you are doing, which I rarely see occur in any other type of thread about any other type of problem, even if such other plights are arguably less damaging.
And that is because 'you'-and others like you-are used to people allowing it.
Your false halo is in full effect, simply because you look the way you do.
So that very history shines through your veneer, even on an anonymous forum (it's even more prevalent on social media like FB and Instagram).
Maybe you don't realize it, or choose not to, because you've never had to live without, but let me clue you in on a few things.
I, as someone who was born unattractive and has had my face & body further ravaged and damaged, to the point of barely being able to get enough oxygen, condemn your bullshit.
You think harassment only applies to you!?
(this is a point I often see self-applied to the attractive)
Try being treated like less than an animal, not just by means of withholding a humane death, but by means of forcing an inhuman(e) life, by the nature of your very flesh and bone.
Try never being someone's priority.
Try living each day as either invisible or insulted.
Try having people go out of their way just to let you know they're not interested, even if you gave no hints to suggest you were into them.
Try watching sales/service people-just about the only people you are still forced to interact with-treat the person ahead of you with diligence and care, while barely making eye contact with you when it's your turn to pay or complain.
Try witnessing the dichotomy first hand, how suddenly they become unwilling to afford you the same treatment as the person before you.
Try having doctors half-ass their assiduity and even their surgical techniques, because they don't see you as worth the effort, but rather a "lost cause".
Try resorting to starving yourself to the point that you resemble a concentration camp victim, because it's literally the only bodily thing you could control as a child.
Try playing with makeup and wearing what you truly want to wear-or expressing yourself in any open way-only for people to make it known that it only brings a negative contrast to your ugly face and body-like lipstick on a pig.
Try having people constantly take it upon themselves to "put you in your place."
..Furthermore, try being confident and watch the mob foam at the mouth to tear you down because they can't bear the thought of an ugly person being anything but painfully insecure!
Try having people in SUVs drive along side you and cackle in disgust as they throw trash out the window at your pedestrian ass.
Try being bullied so severely that you had to leave school and give up the only pride you managed to construct and work for.
Try being told your very existence causes people to vomit, just for standing there, just for inhabiting a body you had no say in.
Try being persecuted and tormented for your unchangeable mien: overtly, covertly, to your face, behind your back, online, in public, among crowds- by peers, relatives, children, and adults alike.
Try having your own family reject something as simple as a hug, because your physicality repulses them..and then go on to watch them embrace every single other person of your brood.
Try being the odd man out, even in platonic relationships, for-yet again-the reason of your worth being measured by way of your poor looks.
Try having your gender mistaken simply because you don't meet the standards of said gender.
Try being laughed at by groups of people, over and over again, like a monkey in a zoo.
Try shaking in fear over giving the most benign of opinions, because you know if anyone disagrees with you, there is an easy way for them to discard you and insult you-via low blows regarding your unfortunate appearance.
Try wearing your weakness and being encased by it 24/7, like the bars of a prison pressed so close that you can't exhale.
Try being scared of sexual harassment or assault, not because you're so alluring, but because you are an easy target who will not be believable: ever heard of ugly women being made fun of and dismissed when they come forward with such claims?
It happens all the damn time.
(It's easy to overpower someone so vulnerable, not just physically, but mentally, as they've been constantly conditioned to overcompensate for their appearance with unassuming friendliness.)
In the same vein, try being taken advantage of, used and manipulated in general, for the very same reasoning that you fear sticking up for yourself, because people view you as an easy target with visible diffidence to exploit.
I could go on and on and on and supersede everything in this list with even more traumatic consequences of being so far from 'pretty'.
But the main takeaway is:
Try being treated as 'less than' in any and every conceivable and lived scenario.
Try it.
Because downplaying or destroying your good looks is pretty damn easy-much, much easier than improving upon them.
If dousing myself in petrol and lighting my flesh ablaze were to make me beautiful, I would do it in a heart beat.
So if being pretty is so bad, what's stopping you?
What's stopping you from shaving your head and losing the primping, really..
I could think of a thousand ways to further fuck my appearance, so what's your excuse?
People put themselves through immense pain and torture to obtain even a fraction of the privilege you were bequeathed at birth.
That's a fact and you need to take a ride on your high horse and get the fuck over it.
And before 'you' say anything else-by affirming your privilege, I am NOT denying your ability to suffer with unrelated issues.
Something some of you beautiful people fail to grasp.
If you made a post about your own problems that didn't try to turn a privilege into one of those said problems, I would support you and I would not take it upon myself to blow up your thread, as you have done so with so many OP's in the past, and present (& probably, to my dismay, the future.)
You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
As another member mentioned-
There are studies far and wide about how your appearance affects the way you are treated, even in the workplace, people are discriminated against, no matter how qualified they are, they are often pushed to the side for someone better looking, even if the qualifications are the same or very much depleted (on the good looking person's part.)
Even those accused of crimes..well, the more attractive are given the most leniency, the least attractive are convicted on a larger scale, regardless of evidence that appeals to their innocence.
(Not unlike the issue of race.)
Oh-and before any pretty women call me an incel or a misogynist (for some weird reason the topic of lookism is always attributed to that group)-
I am a woman, a fucking asexual one-if it wasn't clear by now-so I know all the womanly woes and more. (And I still suffer, regardless of the pursuit of a romantic/sexual relationship, in which-even I admit-the shallow check boxes at the door, are the most egregious.)
But I also stand behind anyone of ANY gender, who suffers by not meeting the ideals of this insanely superficial society.
(This includes the trans community.)
I am in excruciating physical discomfort and pain every day I am alive, but as I have said before (in other threads), that is NOTHING compared to the turmoil induced by being objectively unattractive. (And yes, there is an objective standard, also thoroughly studied and made abundantly clear in both real life and the scientific community, as well as the fine arts.)
Do not underestimate its ability to color each and every aspect of life, nor its proclivity to set off a chain reaction, a domino effect-if you will-that robs you of everything that life is worth.
And do not trivialize the ability for the opposite to make a person's life and pursuit of happiness a thousand times easier.
Being rightfully uncomfortable in your own skin and having society mirror that discomfort tenfold, is as good a reason as any to CTB.
Make no mistake and do not twist my words, attractive people are perfectly capable of suffering and I have met plenty of sweet people who are also visibly appealing who have been through some tough shit (though they usually aren't the type to deny the benefit of their looks)-still, the odds are in their favor, as it goes with most privileges.
Even
I have some privileges that I will readily admit-like a roof over my head, and the ability to hide myself from further humiliation and torment while I prepare for death.
Some people don't even have that much.
So if you want to continue to scoff at these facts, then I have nothing more to add except to say Again, enough is ENOUGH.
I am sick of this shit.
Every single pitfall you can claim for being attractive, I can also claim, and THEN SOME, with no silver lining at the end of the day for me to feel good about.
It's like this, you've got an ice cream cone and I don't.
You get to enjoy your cone and experience a stomach's content, sure people may envy the ice cream sliding down your throat, but that envy is their burden to bear, not yours. And at the end of the day, you're still full, while people like me are left starving.
If you don't want to deal with it, then throw the damn cone away and stop complaining, because I couldn't get my hands on one, no matter how hard I try.
And that is the fucking difference.
