Well, here we all are again. Waking up to another day in hell.
hfdepression30
Experienced
- Mar 30, 2021
- 236
I'm already 7 hours into this day of hell. My advice is go back to sleep.
RegretedFeeling
Student
- Mar 21, 2021
- 103
Been up for about 20 minutes, pretty much done with the day, have court in 3 hours, not that I give two shits.
Good advice, wish I could. Hope the rest of your day goes by as fast as it can so you can get back to sleepI'm already 7 hours into this day of hell. My advice is go back to sleep.
Are you a witness, defendant, lawyer, judge... or?
(Cos what I am, is a nosy bugger! Lol).
Me too. Hope everything goes your way in court. Good luck
I am so fucking sick of waking up. The second I wake up, my depression and anxiety kicks in and off I go into another day of battling my own mind. I can't wait to finally ctb and be at peace.
GenesAndEnvironment
Autistic loser
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,739
I'm literally only still here because I don't own a shotgun.
I know, it's awful. It's like the moment I wake up, I'm like Ugh, noo, not again! Wish you the best day you can have. Depression sucks and anxiety is terrifying and I know them both very well.
ClownMe
Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
- Apr 7, 2021
- 20,561
The biggest nightmare of them all, waking up.
filtfarfar
Member
- Apr 12, 2021
- 37
Waking up is by far the worst part of the day. I desperately try to go back to sleep but it's no use, I have to confront and live yet another day of my shit life.
I'm not implying that this is why you don't have a gun but it resonates with me because In the back of my head I'm often like, hope I never get 51/50ed (involuntarily admitted into the psych ward) so I can get a gun. I want to keep my options open some. Only the people who go through what we have to go through would understand that. Everyone else would think I was insane to even think that up. Let them go through one little ounce of the things that we have to go through and see how they feel! Hope things end up working out for you, in what ever you chose as your exit.
yive
life is evil
- Nov 6, 2020
- 696
same here... :/
RegretedFeeling
Student
- Mar 21, 2021
- 103
It's my second driving while unauthorized,
Honestly 3 months in jail away from everybody may do me some good.
I hope it doesn't come to that though.
Are you considering only this variant?
GenesAndEnvironment
Autistic loser
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,739
No, when I ctb it will most likely be by carotid slashing during an emotional frenzy. I was able to slash and stab myself a bit in such a state, this time I will aim for the carotid, I can feel it pulsating and it's not super deep in there. The idea is to cut diagonally. I don't think I can get partial to work, no easy way of doing full suspension. Gas, SN and N are too much of a pain in the ass for me. I'm open to jumping but I can't rely on myself to get it done during the short stay I can conjure up at a good height. Next thing I try might be night-night, but I'm not very optimistic about that one either.
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The described methods of yours are aesthetically unpleasant and fearful for me, but death is death. Initially, I also tried partial suspension, but I still could not get over my SI, so now I hope for SN. It requires almost nothing of me, except to drink it. it seems like an easy way, regarding your variants.
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GenesAndEnvironment
Autistic loser
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,739
SN requires anti-emetics that I can't get. Plus it would be hard enough to order the SN itself for me since I'd have to rent a PO box or something, it's just too much. I don't really have enough energy or motivation for anything too complicated.
Edit: I don't think I would be able to pull off carotid slashing. I am now looking into night-night and long drop.
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NormaJeane
Member
- Mar 24, 2021
- 648
You are right, life can be hell. Only the bravest people dare to leave life.
As my lovely deceased grandma used to say:
"One more day, one less day..."
The "less" part is what gives me hope!
"One more day, one less day..."
The "less" part is what gives me hope!
I understand you very well.
demuic
Life was a mistake
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,383
If only life could be a nice dream.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,058
Existing is the most pointless thing ever.
sleepisanescape
Member
- Dec 30, 2020
- 19
Ah, the familiar slow creeping dread that accompanies waking up and starting another groundhog-esque day, my favorite! :)
RegretedFeeling
Student
- Mar 21, 2021
- 103
I saw a guy cut his throat, he was actually very calm throughout the ordeal (I drove him to the hospital), may have been the prison liquor!
LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Tell me about it, if I had everything else I needed taken care of and done with, I would have gladly drank my SN over 5 hours ago. I was fucking ready for this to be over, I still am, I just wish I didn't have so many loose ends to tie up.
MindFrog
:Professional Hypocrite:
- Nov 19, 2020
- 723
Being conscious feel like a burden these days. If only I could sleep forever..
Marktheghost
Paragon
- Feb 20, 2020
- 911
avoid_slow_death
Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,234
Ugh. Waking up in the morning is agony. Always that initial fuzziness in my head from the night before, but then the reality of my situation slowly creeps in and I realize, "Dude, you know you're right on the edge there, right?" By the edge I mean might be homeless again in a couple months, but, this time I will probably not have the only person I want to be with at my side. I think she is done with me. Which is a shame because I left everyone I know behind and moved here to be with her. Now, that's gone and trying to motivate myself through this Hell after 30 fucking years of trying to find a woman like her....I don't have the strength guys....30 years is a long time to spend looking for someone.....I am so lost....
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