foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
I'm gonna plan on ending my life within these next couple of years. I'm not going to impulsively make this decision, so what are some things I should think about beforehand? I am 20 and I don't have much responsibility. I pretty much just wanna clean up before I leave if it's the last thing I'll do.
 
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lonely_men23

lonely_men23

Member
Aug 6, 2023
35
I'm gonna plan on ending my life within these next couple of years. I'm not going to impulsively make this decision, so what are some things I should think about beforehand? I am 20 and I don't have much responsibility. I pretty much just wanna clean up before I leave if it's the last thing I'll do.
smoke weed, it will help you relax.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
Just curious, but at 20 yrs, do you really have a lot of "loose ends" to tie up before you CTB?
 
Octavia

Octavia

“I’d… rather kill myself.”
Mar 4, 2023
363
Depending on how your relations with your family are, you might want to work on a will and appoint an executor for it. The former can contain instructions about how your possessions will be treated, how your body would be handled, etc…
 
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foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
Just curious, but at 20 yrs, do you really have a lot of "loose ends" to tie up before you CTB?
Not really. I'm $3,000 in debt but that's about it- not sure how money even works. I just want to write to family and my niece. She is young and looks up to me. I don't want to imagine the pain she is going to face. I just want to ease the pain I will leave behind.
Depending on how your relations with your family are, you might want to work on a will and appoint an executor for it. The former can contain instructions about how your possessions will be treated, how your body would be handled, etc…
I feel bad for putting the burden of my suicide on others. I'm trying to plan around leaving this world without causing more hurt. I don't have many to trust with suicidal thoughts.
listen u seem like a good person, i hope someone answer ur question, am new to this site lol.
I hope whatever brought you here heals.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
Not really. I'm $3,000 in debt but that's about it- not sure how money even works. I just want to write to family and my niece. She is young and looks up to me. I don't want to imagine the pain she is going to face. I just want to ease the pain I will leave behind.
I can understand what you're saying. I don't think there's much you can do to control how others are going to react. As far as the debt goes, it goes away when you die, unless you're married, then your spouse is responsible for it.
 
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foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
I can understand what you're saying. I don't think there's much you can do to control how others are going to react. As far as the debt goes, it goes away when you die, unless you're married, then your spouse is responsible for it.
Yeah, I'm aware I can't control how others will react. Suicide is painful for everyone so I at least want to say goodbye in a way that shows I was grateful for the small bits of happiness I experienced.
 
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foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
go to the gym, embrace power, youll get better.
I actually enjoyed the gym for a bit but I couldn't afford it anymore. I go on walks more but lately my emotions have caught up to me. I try to distract myself, but everything comes back.
 
lonely_men23

lonely_men23

Member
Aug 6, 2023
35
I actually enjoyed the gym for a bit but I couldn't afford it anymore. I go on walks more but lately my emotions have caught up to me. I try to distract myself, but everything comes back.
are u a female or a male or something else lmao.
 
lonely_men23

lonely_men23

Member
Aug 6, 2023
35
Why, lonely_men23? I am nothing but text on a screen.
hahaha, am high rn so.., am just curious thats it.Answer and your a human being talkiing through a screen.Not just a text on a screen, unless ur a bot.
 
foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
hahaha, am high rn so.., am just curious thats it.Answer and your a human being talkiing through a screen.Not just a text on a screen, unless ur a bot.
I have become a bot after years of being molded.
 
foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
Am asking an easy question, but if you dont want to, i respect it.Dont miind me too, am high lol.I think your none binary
Everyone apparently asks "easy" questions. What are you high on?
 
L

lonelyAusM51

Member
Aug 15, 2023
7
I am in the same situation as you albeit it older but not wiser unfortunately. Whilst I would love to tidy up all my loose ends, I feel so hurt and abandoned by my wife that at this point I would happily CTB and leave to mess to her to clean up as a bit of payback even though she will get all my money and things....just so conflicted to I know where you are coming from...I must ask though is there really nothing at 20 worth living for?
 
foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
I am in the same situation as you albeit it older but not wiser unfortunately. Whilst I would love to tidy up all my loose ends, I feel so hurt and abandoned by my wife that at this point I would happily CTB and leave to mess to her to clean up as a bit of payback even though she will get all my money and things....just so conflicted to I know where you are coming from...I must ask though is there really nothing at 20 worth living for?
I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out.
I know what it is like plenty already.

I have spent most of my life surviving day to day. My memory is becoming more fuzzy, I'm addicted, I don't have the financial support, my family is emotionally unavailable, a lot of my families responsibilities still fall on me daily, I sleep a lot, my eating habits have worsened, and options for treatment are running out because I have, believe it or not, tried most things in the book.

I have dreams of a life I know I can't have. I want to reach out to the stars and learn everything there is to know about life. But I am too far gone. All that remains in me is the past.
 
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foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
why are you so corny to answer an easy question, and am high on weed.I think ur a female.Goodnight
Is that corny? Didn't care to think. I am high as well. Thought I was a "none-binary"

Goodnight though.
 
lonely_men23

lonely_men23

Member
Aug 6, 2023
35
Is that corny? Didn't care to think. I am high as well. Thought I was a "none-binary"

Goodnight though.
come in general chit chat, its hilarious, everyone hates me there, i dont know why lmao.Goodnight, i hope i see you there tomorrow after noon, i work during the day.Bye mister none- binary lmao.
 
L

lonelyAusM51

Member
Aug 15, 2023
7
I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out.
I know what it is like plenty already.

I have spent most of my life surviving day to day. My memory is becoming more fuzzy, I'm addicted, I don't have the financial support, my family is emotionally unavailable, a lot of my families responsibilities still fall on me daily, I sleep a lot, my eating habits have worsened, and options for treatment are running out because I have, believe it or not, tried most things in the book.

I have dreams of a life I know I can't have. I want to reach out to the stars and learn everything there is to know about life. But I am too far gone. All that remains in me is the past.
thanks :) I am sorry that life has dealt you such a bad hand, you and I share very similar feelings albeit mine have manifested over a lot longer period...
 
Butterflycharm3636

Butterflycharm3636

The last hope of light
Aug 15, 2023
21
Not really. I'm $3,000 in debt but that's about it- not sure how money even works. I just want to write to family and my niece. She is young and looks up to me. I don't want to imagine the pain she is going to face. I just want to ease the pain I will leave behind.

I feel bad for putting the burden of my suicide on others. I'm trying to plan around leaving this world without causing more hurt. I don't have many to trust with suicidal thoughts.

I hope whatever brought you here heals.
Your niece is going to be devastated, you should really think this through.
 
mouseteacup

mouseteacup

mouse - it/its
Aug 1, 2023
55
Your niece is going to be devastated, you should really think this through.
I only know for sure about my own experiences, but I think for a lot of people on this site, suicide is something we think through thoroughly. Death by suicide — heck, any death — will undoubtedly have an effect on everyone in a person's life, but everyone has a right to choose death, and it's often something that's contemplated a lot beforehand.
 
foreverotting

foreverotting

Member
Oct 1, 2020
49
Your niece is going to be devastated, you should really think this through.
I have been for awhile. I love watching her grow and become her own person. I want to be there for her too but I am so mentally unstable that I am beginning to crack. I can't hide my emotions anymore.

Committing suicide feels like the most selfish/selfless act I can ever commit. I'm selfless because I'd stop present day suffering but I'm selfish 'cause I'd cause past and future trauma. It is sad to live for others. I don't enjoy it.
thanks :) I am sorry that life has dealt you such a bad hand, you and I share very similar feelings albeit mine have manifested over a lot longer period...
I guess the reality of life is one big gamble. It seems that nowadays more and more people are mentally ill. I'm not excited to stay and watch everyone suffer more.
I only know for sure about my own experiences, but I think for a lot of people on this site, suicide is something we think through thoroughly. Death by suicide — heck, any death — will undoubtedly have an effect on everyone in a person's life, but everyone has a right to choose death, and it's often something that's contemplated a lot beforehand.
I agree with this. I wish I could convince others to not take their own life. Everyone I have met I have seen value in; cruel or not.
Life is precious, but difficult.
come in general chit chat, its hilarious, everyone hates me there, i dont know why lmao.Goodnight, i hope i see you there tomorrow after noon, i work during the day.Bye mister none- binary lmao.
I think you know why. No one hates you there.

Good luck with work- keep trying.
 
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