I tried to mimic the why behind material possessions but never really did find the answer to it. It would've felt better to have given those things away as intended rather than someone basically stealing them and pretending like it was some great thing that I had an abundance of whatever.
The bitch bragged for me, and then douchebag dudes mimicked that, as if it made them "special" or "desirable" - it didn't.
(The intention was to be able to give it away. It was then stolen by a skank sibling when the moron that ran up a credit card had it all "shipped" to her house died, as if sending it there would somehow force me to be there or force me to desire to face her stupid ass or "forgive" her or "like" her for any reason.)
Seems like any time I acquire a place to live, something shitty happens that destroys it for me - be it a horrible housemate, shitty family members, shitty "spouses", crappy "friends", fucking loser cops that like throwing victims into the street and telling us to just "work harder" for the same cycle to repeat…
Sentimental objects meant the most, and losers like drug dealers and their girlfriend stole those things to be little fuck faces.
Eventually you learn to just give up in general, helpless.
This monetary and materialistic gimme gimme gimme "culture" is fucking bullshit.