trying to recover

[vaspertine]

hiii ss. this is my first post after lurking for a long while. i'm in recovery after an attempted ctb attempt after which i spent a long time in the psych ward recovering. i'm currently on vacation and trying to feel a bit better.

it's still hard. i have a great (dream) career, amazing friends, lovely partner and i get to do art every day and be paid for it but because of my chronic illnesses and chronic pain and just intense anxiety life still hurts a lot.

i have also had a few friends cbt in the last few years and it's really hurt me a lot more than i initially anticipated. even now with a lot of time, good psychiatric care and regular therapy, it's still hurting a lot.

i guess i'm not posting this for help or anything but i just wanted to say that i feel "seen" in this forum and a lot of feelings here that people talk about feel very similar to what i feel on a daily basis.

 

[Rounded Apathy]

I'm so glad you have all those positive things you mentioned in your life. Some of us can make it by with far less, but other can't despite far more. We all are our own uniquely calibrated scales. I hope things begin to tip in your favour soon.

 

[Silent.Tears]

Hiiiiiiii. My first post took a lot of courage. So first of all, thank you for sharing! I really feel happy when I see people here feeling better.
And I wish I could take your pain away. But it's a relief to know you have such kind and caring people in your life. You are Amazing here's a little silly dance to cheer ya up