Misanthrope
Mage
- Oct 23, 2018
- 557
I am trying to hold on, but I really want to be gone now. No ounce of me wants to remain any longer living this pretence of life. But if I die now while circumstances are as they are. I will do so much damage to my loved ones. If I don't stay until one of them is settled they will be homeless or worse go back to an abusive situation. I can't let that happen. If I go now the fight for social care for my grandmother will end and she will go back to saying everything is fine while starving and falling over in a cold flat. I am so tired. Depressingly I feel myself resenting my loved ones for keeping me here. I need to see them to a safe landing but it is getting so hard to hold on even though I am aware of the consequences to leaving right now.
