Discussion Trying to disappear?

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm minimizing my existence. Isolating. Not responding to texts and phone calls. Hoping I will miraculously vanish.

 

[lostmylove]

I'm doing the same but it's just made me realise how alone I am anyway. Nobody makes an effort to check on me, nobody cares. It's sad in a way knowing nobody is going to go out their way to save me

 

[Intelligent_Panic99]

I'm doing the same but it's just made me realise how alone I am anyway. Nobody makes an effort to check on me, nobody cares. It's sad in a way knowing nobody is going to go out their way to save

I am doing the same too. I know the phone goes both ways but I wish someone would call me so I could feel like they cared instead of calling them and feeling like a burden.

 

[Chiisai]

I'm minimizing my existence. Isolating. Not responding to texts and phone calls. Hoping I will miraculously vanish.

I feel you. On the same boat. Hugs.

 

[FuneralCry]

I would like to disappear as well, I would like my existence to be erased and for me to be completely forgotten about. I want it to be like I never existed in the first place, but that is not possible as even know we may want to die, we are kept alive by a powerful survival instinct. More than anything I wish that it was easier to be free from all suffering.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

I'm doing the same but it's just made me realise how alone I am anyway. Nobody makes an effort to check on me, nobody cares. It's sad in a way knowing nobody is going to go out their way to save me

Yep, same here. The only contact I'd get would be on working days and that too strictly related to work stuff. If it's a long weekend, it's guaranteed that no one would contact me for the entire period. It's always been that way too. I remember once I went so many days without any kind of human contact, that I began to ask myself if I even actually exist anymore, and I wanted to walk in traffic just to confirm if cars see me and stop for me.

Like, what do you even have to do to get people to care about you and get attached to you? I've tried talking to people, joked and laughed with them, cared and did things for them but after all that, just... nothing. Once I move out of their immediate presence, I basically disappear to them. It's really strange. It feels like I'm some kind of alien watching human society from a distance.

 

[houseofleaves]

I remember once I went so many days without any kind of human contact, that I began to ask myself if I even actually exist anymore, and I wanted to walk in traffic just to confirm if cars see me and stop for me.

i feel so sorry that you had to experience such awful loneliness

 

[twinpeaks]

This poem by Marie Howe hits close to home for me:
"I liked Hell,
I liked to go there alone
relieved to lie in the wreckage, ruined, physically undone.
The worst had happened. What else could hurt me then?
I thought it was the worst, thought nothing worse could come.
Then nothing did, and no one"

 

[lostmylove]

Yep, same here. The only contact I'd get would be on working days and that too strictly related to work stuff. If it's a long weekend, it's guaranteed that no one would contact me for the entire period. It's always been that way too. I remember once I went so many days without any kind of human contact, that I began to ask myself if I even actually exist anymore, and I wanted to walk in traffic just to confirm if cars see me and stop for me.

Like, what do you even have to do to get people to care about you and get attached to you? I've tried talking to people, joked and laughed with them, cared and did things for them but after all that, just... nothing. Once I move out of their immediate presence, I basically disappear to them. It's really strange. It feels like I'm some kind of alien watching human society from a distance.

Sadly most people are just concerned about themselves we live in a sick selfish society.

When you find someone who you can relate with and love and cares about you, it's like pure gold. Sadly when that's taken away like it has for me, the reality of life comes back and hits you like a train.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

This poem by Marie Howe hits close to home for me:
"I liked Hell,
I liked to go there alone
relieved to lie in the wreckage, ruined, physically undone.
The worst had happened. What else could hurt me then?
I thought it was the worst, thought nothing worse could come.
Then nothing did, and no one"

Excellent poem thank you

 

[Maaizr]

im slowly doing this leading up to ctb, for sure

 

[Shahir]

I would like to disappear as well, I would like my existence to be erased and for me to be completely forgotten about. I want it to be like I never existed in the first place, but that is not possible as even know we may want to die, we are kept alive by a powerful survival instinct. More than anything I wish that it was easier to be free from all suffering.

resonates with me to my core! but i want to die and never be found. but my family... only, i feel guilty when i think about putting them through the trauma of my suicide.. wish i could wipe their memory of me- but as thats not an option, i would like them to think i have just ran off and living on my own somewhere.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Being there done that.