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FreedomInDeath

FreedomInDeath

Ready to leave
Jan 6, 2020
147
I don't think you are ready to CTB and that is ok. Maybe part of you still has hope?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lost_the_will2_live and HadEnough1974
H

HadEnough1974

I try to be funny...
Jan 14, 2020
684
I just tasted it and it's the saltiest thing I've ever had in my mouth. It's like drinking salt.

For some reason the taste just made me really afraid of it and I just spat it out. What the hell.

@OldGod I took the time to read your previous post, about the abuse you endured at the hands of people who are supposed to care for you. I'm so sorry for your pain and struggles.

I know that you want to die. It's your right and your choice. My only question is, have you exhausted all other options, including intensive therapy?
 
one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
@OldGod Any update. Looks like it's been about two hours since you swallowed some and split the rest out. How you feeling.
I still so you active out there
 
OldGod

OldGod

Student
Feb 20, 2020
141
Still here, nothing's happened. I took a sip through a straw but it seems like it didn't do anything. Still up with my thoughts.
 
one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
Still here, nothing's happened. I took a sip through a straw but it seems like it didn't do anything. Still up with my thoughts.

Ok.. so now we have more information. You sipped it through a straw and it was still to salting tasting to ingest.
Everyone does have their own palette.
This could be good information for the forum. There have been a few discussions about using a straw to try and mitigate the taste.
 
C

cursum.perficio

Member
Nov 26, 2019
75
Don't you have benzos or any other medication to suppress your anxiety
If you want to leave it for another day that's fine. I'm going to assume you still have a lot of SN left, and SN isn't going to be going away any time soon (at least not in the US).
 
OldGod

OldGod

Student
Feb 20, 2020
141
I still have a whole tub left. I have no anxiety medication whatsoever, even the Klonopin I used to get prescribed wouldn't help much in this scenario. I would definitely need something a lot stronger. It's a shame I can't drink and do it.
 
one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
I still have a whole tub left. I have no anxiety medication whatsoever, even the Klonopin I used to get prescribed wouldn't help much in this scenario. I would definitely need something a lot stronger. It's a shame I can't drink and do it.

I would suggest looking at other options then, since this method isn't feasible to you. If you are still thinking about CTB.

EDIT - Or just not CTB.. it's all everyone's choice what they want to do.
 
Last edited:
Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Mage
Feb 12, 2020
501
I still have a whole tub left. I have no anxiety medication whatsoever, even the Klonopin I used to get prescribed wouldn't help much in this scenario. I would definitely need something a lot stronger. It's a shame I can't drink and do it.
It's not a shame. This is the most difficult decision you have to make here. It's perfectly normal for you to feel anxious. I know you planned everything and all but there is no shame in postponing. It should be somewhat a peaceful moment if you're really resolved. As @cursum.perficio said, it's not like your SN will go away. There is no shame. I hope you find peace my friend, no matter your choice. :heart:
 
OldGod

OldGod

Student
Feb 20, 2020
141
I feel so frustrated. I want this so bad, it made me cry last night when I didn't do it. I really need this to work.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: highlyvolatile and xBrialesana
Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Mage
Feb 12, 2020
501
You can try again tomorrow, and again, and again, every night. There will be one night were you won't be afraid anymore. This is the hardest thing to do.
 
shallow

shallow

A thought can pull the trigger...
Feb 17, 2020
59
The taste is terrible I've heard before. Also read about putting honey in your mouth.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling like this. Wish I could light it up for you. Whatever you do, we are here for you.

:heart:
 
  • Like
Reactions: highlyvolatile
F

frostedreef

Captain Nemo
Feb 21, 2020
52
It's ok but you're not ready for CTB if the salty taste can make you hesitate.
 
T

TheTraveller

Member
Mar 23, 2020
43
I just tasted it and it's the saltiest thing I've ever had in my mouth. It's like drinking salt.

For some reason the taste just made me really afraid of it and I just spat it out. What the hell.

I know nothing about SN but here's two suggestions
Add something really sweet a pack of jello or.....
sometime absorption can be done rectally then no taste?

I dont know
 

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