FreedomInDeath
Ready to leave
- Jan 6, 2020
- 147
I don't think you are ready to CTB and that is ok. Maybe part of you still has hope?
@OldGod I took the time to read your previous post, about the abuse you endured at the hands of people who are supposed to care for you. I'm so sorry for your pain and struggles.
I know that you want to die. It's your right and your choice. My only question is, have you exhausted all other options, including intensive therapy?
one4all
I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
- Feb 3, 2020
- 3,455
@OldGod Any update. Looks like it's been about two hours since you swallowed some and split the rest out. How you feeling.
I still so you active out there
I still so you active out there
OldGod
Student
- Feb 20, 2020
- 141
Still here, nothing's happened. I took a sip through a straw but it seems like it didn't do anything. Still up with my thoughts.
one4all
I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
- Feb 3, 2020
- 3,455
Ok.. so now we have more information. You sipped it through a straw and it was still to salting tasting to ingest.
Everyone does have their own palette.
This could be good information for the forum. There have been a few discussions about using a straw to try and mitigate the taste.
Don't you have benzos or any other medication to suppress your anxiety
If you want to leave it for another day that's fine. I'm going to assume you still have a lot of SN left, and SN isn't going to be going away any time soon (at least not in the US).
If you want to leave it for another day that's fine. I'm going to assume you still have a lot of SN left, and SN isn't going to be going away any time soon (at least not in the US).
OldGod
Student
- Feb 20, 2020
- 141
I still have a whole tub left. I have no anxiety medication whatsoever, even the Klonopin I used to get prescribed wouldn't help much in this scenario. I would definitely need something a lot stronger. It's a shame I can't drink and do it.
one4all
I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
- Feb 3, 2020
- 3,455
I would suggest looking at other options then, since this method isn't feasible to you. If you are still thinking about CTB.
EDIT - Or just not CTB.. it's all everyone's choice what they want to do.
Last edited:
Iloveyouall
Mage
- Feb 12, 2020
- 501
It's not a shame. This is the most difficult decision you have to make here. It's perfectly normal for you to feel anxious. I know you planned everything and all but there is no shame in postponing. It should be somewhat a peaceful moment if you're really resolved. As @cursum.perficio said, it's not like your SN will go away. There is no shame. I hope you find peace my friend, no matter your choice.
OldGod
Student
- Feb 20, 2020
- 141
I feel so frustrated. I want this so bad, it made me cry last night when I didn't do it. I really need this to work.
Iloveyouall
Mage
- Feb 12, 2020
- 501
You can try again tomorrow, and again, and again, every night. There will be one night were you won't be afraid anymore. This is the hardest thing to do.
shallow
A thought can pull the trigger...
- Feb 17, 2020
- 59
The taste is terrible I've heard before. Also read about putting honey in your mouth.
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling like this. Wish I could light it up for you. Whatever you do, we are here for you.
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling like this. Wish I could light it up for you. Whatever you do, we are here for you.
I know nothing about SN but here's two suggestions
Add something really sweet a pack of jello or.....
sometime absorption can be done rectally then no taste?
I dont know
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