Tried for the first time last night

[wishingmylifeaway]

Was a weird experience to say the least. I've been intending to take my life for a few weeks ago but I've never felt quite like this.

I was actually almost completely unemotional and was trying to sleep when I decided to get out of bed and tie a cable to my door hinge at the back of the room. Because I'm completely incompetent with tying knots of any kind whatsoever, I couldn't make a slipping noose, but I think I've worked it out now.

Friends got worried about me and called police on me, got discharged from a and e a few hours after. Barely anything happened to my body physically.

Idk, just weird. I'm barely emotional. Loads of people care about me but I barely feel anything towards all this support I'm getting.

 

[wishingmylifeaway]

I want to try again, but maybe I'm not ready. I've done some practice today and actually understand how to tie a proper noose without being idiotic.

 

[elfgyoza]

I've been there, really sucks. Honestly never thought I'd see anyone else say they just decided to get out of bed and do it, while feeling completely emotionless - that's exactly what I did a few months ago.
The only real piece of advice I can offer is this, please give it some time. I know life is shit, but you're more likely to fail in this state of mind and the consequences of that won't be great. Your friends are clearly already worried for you, it might be better to wait it out, see what happens