Help Trial run of CTB method (cutting) (some advice needed)

[beandigger404]

If you don't already know my CTB plan, basically I'll be making a 6 inch long cut across my thigh and sever my rectus femoris (top quadricep muscle). I did a bit of a trail run and made a similar 6 inch long cut bellow where the actual CTB cut will be but just fat deep and gaping by an inch. Seriously considering going deeper, but I really don't want another trip to the ER and I've already completely saturated 4-5 4x4in gauze pads and I don't have a very high blood loss tolerance due to the fact that I'm 5'4 and 109lbs. I also may have nicked a superficial vein, but it's all fine. I've cut to fat before, but never this deep or long. I'm wondering if I can even heal it myself with no stitches.

My doctor threatened to hospitalize me for much shallower self-harm. So, seeing a doctor or getting stitches is not an option. I have no income, live with my parents, and flunking uni. I'm just hoping I don't crash later due to blood loss or get an infection Kind of what I get for being a doofus. I know how to care for deep cuts, but is this realistic to heal on my own? Advice is highly appreciated

 

[felloffmydinosaur]

I made cuts like this often. I only got them stapled once. He saw some of the others that were healing and said he would have stapled those as well and was surprised they were healing as well as they were. I never really covered mine or took care of them at all. I'm surprised that I didn't get an infection. I definitely don't recommend doing what I did, it is super risky. But I do know it is possible to heal these things. But it takes forever to heal.

 

[sadtrumpet]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/non-methods-that-should-not-be-attempted.177799/

 

[felloffmydinosaur]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/non-methods-that-should-not-be-attempted.177799/

Yeah this is definitely not a method I would ever recommend

 

[SeafoamSkeleton]

Unless you're willing to go out in a super painful way like sepsis, it's probably worth it to get it delt with professionally. It's going to take a really long time to heal on it's own, which makes your chances of infection greater, but it is technically possible.

 

[Afterglow]

hey friend, just make sure to clean it out and wrap it. I wish you luck on the recovery, and I hope you don't get an infection.

 

[beandigger404]

I made cuts like this often. I only got them stapled once. He saw some of the others that were healing and said he would have stapled those as well and was surprised they were healing as well as they were. I never really covered mine or took care of them at all. I'm surprised that I didn't get an infection. I definitely don't recommend doing what I did, it is super risky. But I do know it is possible to heal these things. But it takes forever to heal.

It definitely takes forever. I've had shallower smaller cuts take a about a month to heal. I'm also borderline underweight so realistically this will prob take way longer. Not looking forward to that at all. Thanks for the insight!

Unless you're willing to go out in a super painful way like sepsis, it's probably worth it to get it delt with professionally. It's going to take a really long time to heal on it's own, which makes your chances of infection greater, but it is technically possible.

hey friend, just make sure to clean it out and wrap it. I wish you luck on the recovery, and I hope you don't get an infection.

I always use sterile stuff like gauze and saline solution and lightly dab antiseptic cream around the wound before dressing it with more sterile gauze and medical tape. Hopefully I'm lucky enough to walk away with minimum complications!

Yeah this is definitely not a method I would ever recommend

Bleeding out is definitely not a great way to go out, if it even succeeds in the first place. But self-punishment is a motive for me in this method.

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's great getting to know all the sweet people in this community and I'm very thankful for y'all ^_^

 

[felloffmydinosaur]

Bleeding out is definitely not a great way to go out, if it even succeeds in the first place. But self-punishment is a motive for me in this method.

I definitely understand the self punishment aspect for sure